Nikki Sahagin Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 You know they say that everything happens for a reason? I feel this year has happened to teach me about loss and letting go. Unfortunately, I now feel I completely cannot cope anymore. I feel depressed and flat, although I also cry a lot and feel frustrated and angry. It began when I went travelling and have since terminated a romantic relationship (I loved him/he loved me) because the long distance was unfeasible (as part of the reason). I then had to terminate my travels (let go of that) because my mum became seriously ill. We nearly lose her (she luckily survived) but I still had to face up to the thought/fear/potential reality of losing her. I then had a short-lived romance here that ended (this was particularly painful to me as I liked him so much) and just today, my dog died. I feel that this year has just been loss upon loss. Loss of my dream to travel... Loss of relationships and love... Near loss of my family... Loss of my pets... Right now I just feel it's too much loss to cope with. I GET the lesson but why did I have to have it thrown in my face so many times? I just don't know what to do anymore It's too hard when it all happens at once. I had JUST about pulled myself together about my last relationship failure and was functioning normally, if not happily, when this happened today, and now I've back to square one and feel like I'm mourning all of these losses all over again.
d0nnivain Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 I understand. I'm coming off 2 years of loss. Both my parents passed away & so did several friends. It's been really hard. With a good therapist I have been able to get out of bed more often but I still cry a lot. Surround yourself with people who love you & try to focus on the positive. Look for the good signs.
pteromom Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 Loss is part of life. There are two lessons you might learn from it: - You lose everything, so the best approach is to detach and not care about anything, so it doesn't hurt when you lose it. Or - You lose everything, so the best approach is to jump in with both feet, live fully, experience everything, appreciate everything and everyone in your life, and leave nothing unsaid. One leads to more depression, and the other leads to more joy. Your choice. But I am sorry you have gone through so much this year. Now go hug your mom and be grateful she is still with you. 2
Author Nikki Sahagin Posted November 1, 2013 Author Posted November 1, 2013 Thank you both. I definitely want to choose the path of most joy. It's just I felt I had learnt that. I was already saying things like, "We never know what's around the corner" and "life is a swimming pool, just jump in!" I feel like it's cruelly ironic for life to say, "yep, we know you get it but just for good measure". I know everybody goes through losses. It's just so hard when they come one after the other. It's made me feel afraid
Author Nikki Sahagin Posted November 1, 2013 Author Posted November 1, 2013 I understand. I'm coming off 2 years of loss. Both my parents passed away & so did several friends. It's been really hard. With a good therapist I have been able to get out of bed more often but I still cry a lot. Surround yourself with people who love you & try to focus on the positive. Look for the good signs. Thanks I am sorry to hear you have had two years of it. Sometimes it's so relentless and overwhelming isn't it? I am glad therapy has helped you to feel better. I've been crying a lot too, but I don't so much mind the crying because I feel it's cathartic. I am 'happier' when I am free to express my sadness. I get more afraid when I feel the 'flat' feeling. 1
pteromom Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 I feel like it's cruelly ironic for life to say, "yep, we know you get it but just for good measure". Life doesn't work like that though. Sometimes you can go years and years with little change in life, and sometimes, losses come in a cluster. It's hard though. I understand that. It is completely normal for you to be in a dark place right now.
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