Author Cream Posted November 2, 2013 Author Posted November 2, 2013 You may want to work it out. But does she? You can't work it out if she doesn't want to. she says her heart isn't in it, she wants to, but can't. whatever that means.
Kate9292 Posted November 2, 2013 Posted November 2, 2013 she says her heart isn't in it, she wants to, but can't. whatever that means. It's a no. However she puts it.
AShogunNamedMarcus Posted November 2, 2013 Posted November 2, 2013 she says her heart isn't in it, she wants to, but can't. whatever that means. It means it's time to move on.
Justachip Posted November 2, 2013 Posted November 2, 2013 so i've been with her for around 6 months. things have been going sour for awhile because she says i'm slacking off. that i need to win her heart. she's really distant and keeps telling me that she's not in love anymore. i understand the honeymoon stage is over, and we're going through a rough patch. she almost got pregnant a few months ago, and blamed it on me, also her doctor said she has an STD, and again its all my fault. when we go out on dates or with our friends she we always get in a fight because i'm not talking and i'm distant. i have explain to her that i'm depressed from everything, and shes pushing me to "act" happy and fake a smile. all this extra drama isn't helping. i'm trying to do whatever it takes to save this relationship. First off the solution is do nothing. When it comes to woman, the solution is to listen. I understand you're depressed about some personal issues and you want to fix them too. Well, you cant fix them before you take care of your relationship. The first thing you must do is to LISTEN AND VALIDATE her feelings. Listen to her feelings. She is not blaming you, no matter how it sounds right now. Read between the lines, dont take her word literally even if she says "It's all your fault". What would she say to you typically when you have an argument? Remember the one fact about women and men is that we think and act differently. You may think that you're working hard and not slacking off, but to her she may not "feel" so. To make her feel you're working hard, LISTEN to her feelings, listen for worries, insecurities. Tell her that she's right. Yeah it doesn't sound logical at all. But she is right for feeling this way, even though it isn't logical to you. Make her feel like you care by listening to her, don't cut her off half way and reply. You must be calm, people always mirror each other. good luck for this mission bro.
Author Cream Posted November 2, 2013 Author Posted November 2, 2013 I asked her for another chance last night to put in all my effort and I'll vow to change. She said she gave me too many chances, she doesn't love me anymore, and to leave her alone.
d0nnivain Posted November 2, 2013 Posted November 2, 2013 I know how much you wanted it to work but at this point you have to do what she wants & leave her alone. In the long run you will be better off
Simon Phoenix Posted November 2, 2013 Posted November 2, 2013 Leave her alone. Honestly if you have a shot (which I don't know why you even want a shot, this seems like a completely awful union) the best way to attract her is to give her exactly what she wants -- space. Right now you are a pushover kissass -- no woman on the planet is turned on by that. But I'm guessing that if you stop giving her attention, she'll start to wonder why. And then start to pursue you. And if she doesn't, then good, this is a really terrible relationship anyway.
Author Cream Posted November 2, 2013 Author Posted November 2, 2013 All I want to do is talk it out with her. she's pissing me off, she can't be civil. I'm just going to leave, I said everything I needed to say. Im so broken and confused.
Author Cream Posted November 2, 2013 Author Posted November 2, 2013 Leave her alone. Honestly if you have a shot (which I don't know why you even want a shot, this seems like a completely awful union) the best way to attract her is to give her exactly what she wants -- space. Right now you are a pushover kissass -- no woman on the planet is turned on by that. But I'm guessing that if you stop giving her attention, she'll start to wonder why. And then start to pursue you. And if she doesn't, then good, this is a really terrible relationship anyway. so if i do this NC. stop bothering her to give me a second chance. then maybe she'll come around again. even if she says she doesn't want to be with me again, and tells me all the wrong i do??
Simon Phoenix Posted November 3, 2013 Posted November 3, 2013 so if i do this NC. stop bothering her to give me a second chance. then maybe she'll come around again. even if she says she doesn't want to be with me again, and tells me all the wrong i do?? I don't know if she'll come back, but you have a better chance of it happening. And even if she doesn't, NC will get you a lot further down the road of recovery. There's really no downside. She's expecting you to beg and plead. Do the unexpected.
Fufu Posted November 3, 2013 Posted November 3, 2013 I asked her for another chance last night to put in all my effort and I'll vow to change. She said she gave me too many chances, she doesn't love me anymore, and to leave her alone. This is her direct answer to her, as much as the truth is harsh, it's still better than she strings you along by telling she loves you but have absolutely no mean to get back with you.
Author Cream Posted November 3, 2013 Author Posted November 3, 2013 i want to call her, just wanting to know why we can't work this out. she came on so strong then all the sudden loses love. she lead me on way too far. this relationship was over before we could build anything.
Simon Phoenix Posted November 3, 2013 Posted November 3, 2013 i want to call her, just wanting to know why we can't work this out. she came on so strong then all the sudden loses love. she lead me on way too far. this relationship was over before we could build anything. Don't. Won't go your way and will just make you look like a wuss. Silence is the play here.
Fufu Posted November 4, 2013 Posted November 4, 2013 i want to call her, just wanting to know why we can't work this out. she came on so strong then all the sudden loses love. she lead me on way too far. this relationship was over before we could build anything. Why do you want to call her to tell you again and again why she has chosen the decision to leave? Don't put yourself into this situation over and over again, it's not worth your time and definitely not worth prolonging the pain. People lose interest, change of heart and feelings are not new at all.
Mariposa10 Posted November 4, 2013 Posted November 4, 2013 This girl need to feel what it's like to not have you around. You want to keep doing what you have been doing over and over again, just like someone else mentioned before. Why not chance things? And really not start caring about this girl at all? I know it'll be hard, but this relationship doesn't even sound that health. Either way, NC will help you see all the red flags you're not really seeing right now. Good luck, and you can always come here and vent!!
ponchsox Posted November 4, 2013 Posted November 4, 2013 When someone makes the decision end it, they are doing you a favor, trust me. Someone compared it to be fired from work and it's so true. Would you beg your employer to take you back after they fired you?
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