lastking Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 My girlfriend of 9 years broke up with me 4 months ago. She broke up with me for some stupid reasons/grass is greener syndrome. I have been talking to a very beautiful girl lately and have been on 3 dates so far. We talked last night and she wants us to get serious ( get into a relationship ) but am getting signals that the ex-girlfriend wants to come back too. Her parents also talked to me a few weeks ago and they said that they want us to get back together. Should I give ex girlfriend another chance or start a new relationship with another very beautiful girl. Both of them are pretty. Any ideas....Thanks Guys!!
stillafool Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 No, move on. If she had GIG the first time she will more than likely get it again. She can't be trusted. Of course her family wants you back in her life because you are a good guy. I say because you are a good guy you deserve a beautiful girl who will be faithful and love you right. You have to marry someone who you can trust to not cheat on you and the kids (if you have any). Your ex has shown you what she will do. Move on with the new girl because whether you realize it or not she is a gift. Good Luck! 1
Valen Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 Go with the new girl and see where this relationship takes you. Your ex deserves to wait. She lost her position in line. 2
soccerrprp Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 Phew, that's a tough one. So, did your ex find someone else? If so, I'd say, don't go back. She saw you as a secondary option, but more information is really needed here. Her reasons for looking elsewhere could be legit. You may be a dead-beat, or lazy, or abusive, etc. On the other hand, if all was "perfect" then I'd be very cautious. I also believe that this new gf is something worth pursuing, but again, I have no idea what kind of guy you are. After a 9-yr relationship, you may be rebounding and that isn't fair to the new girl. How hard did you try to get your ex back? 1
mammasita Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 How old are you? I'm guessing you're kind of young because of your "both of them are very pretty" comment. Sure looks matter, but when you're considering a relationship that shouldn't be your deciding factor. What are the pros and cons of each woman? Do they have goals, morals, are they honest, kind, thoughtful, do they make you laugh, can they hold a conversation, how do they make you feel? That's what you need to be thinking about.......not how pretty they are and certainly not what their family wants you to do
Author lastking Posted November 1, 2013 Author Posted November 1, 2013 Phew, that's a tough one. So, did your ex find someone else? If so, I'd say, don't go back. She saw you as a secondary option, but more information is really needed here. Her reasons for looking elsewhere could be legit. You may be a dead-beat, or lazy, or abusive, etc. On the other hand, if all was "perfect" then I'd be very cautious. I also believe that this new gf is something worth pursuing, but again, I have no idea what kind of guy you are. After a 9-yr relationship, you may be rebounding and that isn't fair to the new girl. How hard did you try to get your ex back? it was a perfect relationship and the break up took me by surprise. Regarding your other question, I am very hardworking. Curently a Quality manager for an insurance company. I tried so hard to get us back together after we broke up and slowly moved on as this wasnt happening but now am confused with the new situation..lol
nescafe1982 Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 9 years, you say? Don't go back with the ex. The way you talk about her leads me to believe you weren't serious about her in the first place. And if that's the case after 9 years, it's not likely to happen now. Tell her you've moved on. And then move on yourself. Good luck!
d0nnivain Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 You are not ready for a new relationship. You don't get over a 9 year relationship in 4 months especially when you didn't see it coming. The new girl will be nothing more than a rebound. My suggestion would be to tell the new girl that you are just coming out of a relationship, that you would be happy to take her on a date but you are not ready for anything exclusive. She may pass. Then if your EX approaches you perhaps you can see what her issue was. I suspect it's that you have been DATING for 9 years & she has no idea when she's getting a ring so she broke up with you to move on with her life.
nescafe1982 Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 Then if your EX approaches you perhaps you can see what her issue was. I suspect it's that you have been DATING for 9 years & she has no idea when she's getting a ring so she broke up with you to move on with her life. This was my suspicion too. And 9 years is about 4 times as long as most women will wait on a guy. OP how serious was your relationship with the ex? Did she ever talk about wanting a commitment from you? 1
404namenotfound Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 My girlfriend of 9 years broke up with me 4 months ago. She broke up with me for some stupid reasons/grass is greener syndrome. I have been talking to a very beautiful girl lately and have been on 3 dates so far. We talked last night and she wants us to get serious ( get into a relationship ) but am getting signals that the ex-girlfriend wants to come back too. Her parents also talked to me a few weeks ago and they said that they want us to get back together. Should I give ex girlfriend another chance or start a new relationship with another very beautiful girl. Both of them are pretty. Any ideas....Thanks Guys!! My take on these kinds of things is that exes stay exes unless something major changes. Otherwise you're just going to have the same problems over and over again. If you like the new girl you should go for her. There is no evidence she's going to leave you like your ex did. Personally I only get back with an ex if its casual, I'm not going to go down that road with someone who has shown me we don't work. 1
truth_seeker Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 9 years, you say? Don't go back with the ex. The way you talk about her leads me to believe you weren't serious about her in the first place. And if that's the case after 9 years, it's not likely to happen now. If he were serious they would have been married for years by now not dating for 9 YEARS! 4
soccerrprp Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 If he were serious they would have been married for years by now not dating for 9 YEARS! I do have to admit, THIS is a serious concern for me too. I just don't understand anyone who stays in a 3+ yrs relationship w/o tying the knot. I also believe you need to commit to the next level...why the wait? She hasn't asked? You simply don't want to?
truth_seeker Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 I do have to admit, THIS is a serious concern for me too. I just don't understand anyone who stays in a 3+ yrs relationship w/o tying the knot. I also believe you need to commit to the next level...why the wait? She hasn't asked? You simply don't want to? They date because they want someone there until someone "better" comes along. They want them there as a security blanket. Don't find someone better, okay, I will settle. Horrible way of thinking but many people do this. 1
nescafe1982 Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 I do have to admit, THIS is a serious concern for me too. I just don't understand anyone who stays in a 3+ yrs relationship w/o tying the knot. I also believe you need to commit to the next level...why the wait? She hasn't asked? You simply don't want to? Right. This is my concern as well. I don't want to assume that marriage is everyone's goal in a relationship. But I can't imagine anyone dating someone for nine years and not expecting a lifelong commitment. The OP talks about his ex like she was crazy for wanting that. This is the crux of my advice that he ought to move on... and let her find someone who can deliver what she wants.
soccerrprp Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 They date because they want someone there until someone "better" comes along. They want them there as a security blanket. Don't find someone better, okay, I will settle. Horrible way of thinking but many people do this. Or worse, they think they can't do better and for some it's better to be with the devil you know than the one you don't or won't. Sad.....
truth_seeker Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 Or worse, they think they can't do better and for some it's better to be with the devil you know than the one you don't or won't. Sad..... Very sad. That's fear taking over. Fear of being alone. Fear of misery.
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