cottom Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 As many of you are aware, in September we went to Egypt. While drunk she started crying and when i pushed for why she told me about a time she went out with a friend, saw a guy she knew with his friends and hung out with them. After two drinks she can't remember the night but apparently there are photos of her performing sexual acts down an alleyway that have recently surfaced. She said this was before me and her got together. One of my best mates was with me in the gym yesterday and he was asking me these weird questions such as "do you trust her?" "how long was you together for in August?" "are you aware of how easy she is?". After 5 months of me being with her and him being close to both of us, it was weird for him to suddenly ask these. Last night he text me saying we need to talk and he has something to show me when he sees me today. I pushed for what he had to say and finally got: "I was asking those questions at gym earlier for a reason, but didnt say anything until i knew more but it wqs in august and his name was brett, you aint gna wanna see it but you have too as i have a picture of it, as i said ill talk to you tomorrow All i know is brett and he told someone, i aint saying namez, said he pulled her in august" My gf denies all this but she would lose me if i found out she was cheating so has reason to lie. Other people have nothing to lose if they tell me so they have no reason to lie. Her argument is saying that i should trust her over everyone else because im in a relationship with her.
Valen Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 Go see the picture, decide for yourself. My instinct tells me base on her previous actions, she cheated.
kassy Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 Your friend sounds like a good guy who has your back. I'd have a good chat to him and see the photo. I think it's likely that she cheated. 1
Zahara Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 (edited) From your past threads about her, I would be surprised. You shouldn't be either. Cheaters always say that they should be trusted if you love them. It's called gas lighting. It makes you feel guilty for mistrusting them even when there are reasons and evidence for that mistrust. Edited November 1, 2013 by Zahara
Author cottom Posted November 1, 2013 Author Posted November 1, 2013 She was up all night trying to call me, my phone was on silent. I also recieived this text off her: "Please answer chad i wanna tell you so uno im not lieing, im not like ur ex's i would never ever cheat on anyone ever ino what u went through with them ive been throught the similar thing which is why ino i could never do that to soneonw and makes me so sad that soneone so sick would even do this just proves their not right and i did go through a hard tine after my ex but i told u the truth with what happened which is why i told u first for a reason cus i love u more than anythin and disnt want anythin to come between us or to keep anythin feom.you, so people can say n call me what they want ino im not a liar or a cheater and thought u could see that by being with me in person chad. But i promise you i wouldnt do that."
KatZee Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 I don't think your friend would make all this up outta no where, especially if he's been a close friend to you and you know his personality is not one to start drama for fun. If he has pictures, then he knows she's cheated and he's looking out for you. If those pictures are legit, of course your girlfriend is going to lie, cheaters are liars and they will lie right into your eyeballs until you have actual proof. Even then some try to still lie and say it's not them, or its an old picture, or whatever story they concoct. Ask to see the picture, and then if it's real, and it's when you guys were together, dump her skank a.ss. Her statement of, "You should trust me above everyone else because you're in a relationship with me" isn't even a valid statement. Trust is earned, not given. And especially with her shady behavior, she loses trust points, not earns them.
Author cottom Posted November 1, 2013 Author Posted November 1, 2013 The thing is she says the picture is from early April, he says he has been told the picture was in August. We got together in May.
Kate9292 Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 I think your friend is jealous and is trying to break you up so he can try to get in her pants. What business do others have to meddle with private life of two people?
AShogunNamedMarcus Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 The thing is she says the picture is from early April, he says he has been told the picture was in August. We got together in May. That answers it right there. Pay good attention to the rumor mill. Somebody didn't just make up a random story and claim it was August if it was really in April.
youaremysunshine Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 The info about the date of the picture is second hand, correct? it not from the guy who screwed around with her, it's from some unnamed third party. She did tell you that the pictures existed, but do you trust her about when they were taken?
Zahara Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 There's no reason for outsiders to lie. They benefit nothing from it.The only one that has intent to lie is the accused. Didn't she recently also kiss some other guy and then your last thread was about her still being emotionally attached to her deceased ex? Too many red flags. 1
Valen Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 (edited) The thing is she says the picture is from early April, he says he has been told the picture was in August. We got together in May. Can you find this Brett guy in the picture? Talk to him if you can. Maybe Brett has more proof. But so far from all the evidence presented, I side with your Best mate's version. She doesn't have much credibility base on her past actions. Good luck with your decision. Edited November 1, 2013 by Valen 1
Author cottom Posted November 1, 2013 Author Posted November 1, 2013 I have the picture, it is definitely her but she is wearing clothes that she has worn since around April time but she still wears it religiously. Its just so stressful, with her past you would think she would be the last person to cheat and the 15 hours now of texts and calls denying it. But my mate is saying it is definatly August. He says that Brett text his mate during the bj in August saying "look what i just pulled". He passed it round and my mate got hold of it but his friend wants to remain anonymous so i cant ask anything. All i have is a mate saying off hear say and a picture and then a gf saying she was drugged and it was in April
veggirl Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 DRUGGED? Please. So why didn't she call the cops then? What reason would your buddy / Brett / etc have for lying to you about this? Can you please let us know what they would gain / achieve by lying to you about this?
Zahara Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 If she was drugged, I think she would be passed out, limp or semi conscious? I'm not sure what the picture shows, if she's performing as if she's conscious and somewhat lucid, then I would have a hard time believing the "drugged" story. And yes, why didn't she report it?
truth_seeker Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 There's no reason for outsiders to lie. They benefit nothing from it.The only one that has intent to lie is the accused. Unless the outsiders have an agenda to sabotage the relationship. To the OP: where there's smoke, there is fire. What does your gut tell you? If you have the feeling that she could be lying, that feeling is there for a reason.
truth_seeker Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 DRUGGED? What reason would your buddy / Brett / etc have for lying to you about this? Can you please let us know what they would gain / achieve by lying to you about this? Only way Brett could be lying is if he had a thing for her or was jealous of the OPs relationship with the girl. I don't think that is the case here, but it does happen.
Zahara Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 Unless the outsiders have an agenda to sabotage the relationship. True. But I can't see why some random guy that got a BJ from her back in April/August would be a drama queen trying to sabotage a relationship. Unless he was in a relationship with her, and wanted her back and was trying to screw it up. Hardly believe so. I'm sure he can get lots more bjs from other women. Seems easy enough for him.
Author cottom Posted November 1, 2013 Author Posted November 1, 2013 I know a lot of people hate her, to most of my town shes one of those easy girls that everyone tried to get a bit of fun with and she went around after she left her last ex. The fact they have a photo and passing it around shows what little they think of her. She says she only had 2 drinks and cannot remember a thing after that except she woke up in an alleyway. Her mom and dad are both in the police, she told them she couldn't remember and woke up in an alleyway, they checked her for bruise as a sign of rape but there was none so left it.
Zahara Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 I know a lot of people hate her, to most of my town shes one of those easy girls that everyone tried to get a bit of fun with and she went around after she left her last ex. The fact they have a photo and passing it around shows what little they think of her. She says she only had 2 drinks and cannot remember a thing after that except she woke up in an alleyway. Her mom and dad are both in the police, she told them she couldn't remember and woke up in an alleyway, they checked her for bruise as a sign of rape but there was none so left it. Some men had their way with their daughter in an alleyway and just because there were no bruises, they let it go? I'm speechless. I'm not sure I know of any parent that will let it go, knowing that their daughter was sexually violated in an alleyway. I'm beginning to wonder if she even told her parents. Checking for bruises isn't the only way to check for rape. Did they take her to the hospital to get a full examination?
Author cottom Posted November 1, 2013 Author Posted November 1, 2013 True. But I can't see why some random guy that got a BJ from her back in April/August would be a drama queen trying to sabotage a relationship. Unless he was in a relationship with her, and wanted her back and was trying to screw it up. Hardly believe so. I'm sure he can get lots more bjs from other women. Seems easy enough for him. I think it is a lost in translation moment when this photo has been passed around so much and someone got hold of it, it was sent to this guy in august and then he showed my mate who saw "sent in august" It is dodgy because my mate claims he was shown by the guy who was sent the picture by Brett. But i said this Brett guys surname and he goes i dno his last name. If it was your mate in that situation youd find out a bit more details even if it is surname.
truth_seeker Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 True. But I can't see why some random guy that got a BJ from her back in April/August would be a drama queen trying to sabotage a relationship. Unless he was in a relationship with her, and wanted her back and was trying to screw it up. Hardly believe so. I'm sure he can get lots more bjs from other women. Seems easy enough for him. It comes down to this: 1) She met a random guy, was drunk, gave him a bj, someone took a photo and it ~somehow~ got into the hands of the OPs best friend. 2) OPs girlfriend is a skank. People don't like her, she was set up, and now people want to stick it to her by ruining her relationship with the OP. 2
truth_seeker Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 I know a lot of people hate her, to most of my town shes one of those easy girls that everyone tried to get a bit of fun with and she went around after she left her last ex. The fact they have a photo and passing it around shows what little they think of her. If this all true, why be with her? She's unstable and people will constantly try to get under your skin because of her. Only chance you have with this girl is if you two moved to another city where you don't know anyone. Still, with her erratic behavior, she'll probably make friends fast and the drama will start over. 1
Zahara Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 It comes down to this: 1) She met a random guy, was drunk, gave him a bj, someone took a photo and it ~somehow~ got into the hands of the OPs best friend. 2) OPs girlfriend is a skank. People don't like her, she was set up, and now people want to stick it to her by ruining her relationship with the OP. OP, hope you can find a way to get past this but one thing you have to take into account is that, she doesn't sound like she's emotionally healthy and there has been too much that points south in your relationship. If you can bear the brunt of her past, then do what is right for you. But after all this, and your recent thread that she's still emotionally attached to her deceased ex, I have a feeling you are in for a volatile ride.
truth_seeker Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 Some men had their way with their daughter in an alleyway and just because there were no bruises, they let it go? I'm speechless. I'm not sure I know of any parent that will let it go, knowing that their daughter was sexually violated in an alleyway. I'm beginning to wonder if she even told her parents. Checking for bruises isn't the only way to check for rape. Did they take her to the hospital to get a full examination? This girl is a hot mess. She's a liar and needs therapy. She's grasping for straws now with this being drugged claim. She spiraling out of control because you didn't believe her initial lies. OP if you really want to know the truth, she just gave you the cards to play with. Tell her you're going to talk to her parents and tell them there is a photo of her getting violated in an alley. She will NOT want them to know. This is where you say to her: "Tell me the truth NOW or I'm doing the right thing and am going to your parents and tell them to go to the police." I bet she will confess. 1
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