LaceyFace Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 It's so hard to be involved with a married person, wether they are still with the person, separated or recently divorced. I often question my morals and my standards for allowing myself to fall so deeply in love with this man. He was my friend first and foremost for years, turned best friend, turned fwb, turned lovers, turned something so complicated my heart aches daily. Why do we dedicate so much of our being to them? How do we throw out everything we know to be right to be happy...possibly the most happy you have ever been, yet the most frustrated, angry, saddened person you never knew you could be. Being in this situation, I have learned so much about myself. Falling in love with this man has been amazing. My 2 year journey with him may end or turn into a LDR... I'm saddened so deeply I find myself suddenly bursting into tears without warning. It's aggravating. I want to share my life with this man. I want him to be the one. I have been married before, and I thought I loved. I didn't even know what that was until him. It is like a fairy tale....a movie....what dreams are made of. But how can you feel so many emotions at once. How is that possible.
Lillyfree Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 It's so hard to be involved with a married person, wether they are still with the person, separated or recently divorced. I often question my morals and my standards for allowing myself to fall so deeply in love with this man. He was my friend first and foremost for years, turned best friend, turned fwb, turned lovers, turned something so complicated my heart aches daily. Why do we dedicate so much of our being to them? How do we throw out everything we know to be right to be happy...possibly the most happy you have ever been, yet the most frustrated, angry, saddened person you never knew you could be. Being in this situation, I have learned so much about myself. Falling in love with this man has been amazing. My 2 year journey with him may end or turn into a LDR... I'm saddened so deeply I find myself suddenly bursting into tears without warning. It's aggravating. I want to share my life with this man. I want him to be the one. I have been married before, and I thought I loved. I didn't even know what that was until him. It is like a fairy tale....a movie....what dreams are made of. But how can you feel so many emotions at once. How is that possible. it's possible to feel so many emotions for a very simple reason: if he were single, and you were in an open relationship, you'd be moving with him. changes in his life would become part of yours. that's a natural progression in 'normal' relationships. in an affair, you are NOT a part of his life. you are on the edge. that's hardly a fairytale imo. 2
Author LaceyFace Posted November 1, 2013 Author Posted November 1, 2013 it's possible to feel so many emotions for a very simple reason: if he were single, and you were in an open relationship, you'd be moving with him. changes in his life would become part of yours. that's a natural progression in 'normal' relationships. in an affair, you are NOT a part of his life. you are on the edge. that's hardly a fairytale imo. He is separated....she lives in another state. Their marriage is over. I have 2 kids and an ******* ex that keep me grounded here for now making this harder. He even said if the situation was easier we would have both been gone awhile ago. But he needs to take this job....which leaves me ready to turn my world upside down to be with him. We both worry about me not being able to leave. So he questions our future a lot lately for that reason.
LilGirlandOW Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 So you live in the same state as your xH cause of the kids (which is very smart), but he (fMM) needs to move from said state for a job opportunity? That's a tough spot to be in. @==Hugs==@
Author LaceyFace Posted November 1, 2013 Author Posted November 1, 2013 So you live in the same state as your xH cause of the kids (which is very smart), but he (fMM) needs to move from said state for a job opportunity? That's a tough spot to be in. @==Hugs==@ Yep....not easy..I'm so devastated. It's like a rollercoaster. He said we will figure it out, then the next day, there is no hope for us. He tells me he is as confused and scared as I am. Wished he never knew what "us" was like. Sigh....I'm scared and torn. I feel the right thing to do would be to let him go....but that selfish side of me that is deeply in love won't let go
Lostinlife4now Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 Yep....not easy..I'm so devastated. It's like a rollercoaster. He said we will figure it out, then the next day, there is no hope for us. He tells me he is as confused and scared as I am. Wished he never knew what "us" was like. Sigh....I'm scared and torn. I feel the right thing to do would be to let him go....but that selfish side of me that is deeply in love won't let go Oh Lacey......I feel for you! The most IMPORTANT thing in your life is your children. They should come first! If it is meant to be with this man....then well you know the rest. I was involved with a mm for 7 years.....and NOW I regret it all. Now I have nothing but contempt for this man, I think he is a Joke when it comes to being a human being. The feelings for this man of yours will FADE. and believe me when I tell you I thought he was the end all be all of my world. Now he is just someone I used to know. Concentrate on your children......and you will be just fine.
Author LaceyFace Posted November 1, 2013 Author Posted November 1, 2013 Oh Lacey......I feel for you! The most IMPORTANT thing in your life is your children. They should come first! If it is meant to be with this man....then well you know the rest. I was involved with a mm for 7 years.....and NOW I regret it all. Now I have nothing but contempt for this man, I think he is a Joke when it comes to being a human being. The feelings for this man of yours will FADE. and believe me when I tell you I thought he was the end all be all of my world. Now he is just someone I used to know. Concentrate on your children......and you will be just fine. My kids are first and foremost and he understands that. I always say if it's ment to be, it will be. We were friends for 6 years before the actual A started. If it were anyone else, I feel as if I would not allow myself to be in this situation. I'd say goodbye. I don't know if it's our history that makes it harder. I'm feeling lost and hurt.
imfine Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 If your kids are first and foremost, then your decision is made. Cut the strings and go complete NC. He chose to walk away from you because of his needs. Staying in contact with him will keep you in this constant state of misery and will affect your children. You can't be there for your children when every thought is directed on something you can't have. History? What about the history with your children? You are their world. You are not this man's world. Please tell me you aren't seriously considering blowing their entire life to hell because of a man that didn't put you first, again. 1
Ladydrib Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 He is separated....she lives in another state. Their marriage is over. It sounds like you're not being totally honest with yourself. You say his marriage is over yet you must not fully believe that because you're posting I'm the OW forum. Make sure you're completely honest with yourself about everything. You need to understand it as it is or you are setting yourself up for additional pain. 1
Author LaceyFace Posted November 1, 2013 Author Posted November 1, 2013 If your kids are first and foremost, then your decision is made. Cut the strings and go complete NC. He chose to walk away from you because of his needs. Staying in contact with him will keep you in this constant state of misery and will affect your children. You can't be there for your children when every thought is directed on something you can't have. History? What about the history with your children? You are their world. You are not this man's world. Please tell me you aren't seriously considering blowing their entire life to hell because of a man that didn't put you first, again. The kids father is less desirable as a person and I would love nothing more than to pull the kids away. He will ruin their future. Why I am willing to take my kids and go start over. Why I am willing to give this man a chance. I have so much to think about but I feel as if it's just a never ending circle of confusion. I just want to know he wants to make it work...if it takes 1 year if it takes 10 years. My kids know of no dispair in my life. As far as they are concerned I'm very happy as I am.
Author LaceyFace Posted November 1, 2013 Author Posted November 1, 2013 It sounds like you're not being totally honest with yourself. You say his marriage is over yet you must not fully believe that because you're posting I'm the OW forum. Make sure you're completely honest with yourself about everything. You need to understand it as it is or you are setting yourself up for additional pain. I guess I came here because I was the OW for 2 years...he is still technically married and I'll always be the OW until a divorce is final. 1
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