jinandjuice Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 So I have been talking to this girl for about a month or 1.5 months now and everything seemed great. Took her out on a couple of dates and about after the first two weeks of dating her me and her started to make out and her place. I ended up spending a night there. So I figure this is the perfect time to tell her about how I feel. I tell her that I started to have feelings for her and all she told me was that she was insecure and just had feelings for me. Couldn't say she liked me. Next day she ends up spending a night at my place but we ended up just cuddling. The next week same thing happens, I go to her place and spend a night and we end up making out all night and falling asleep. This time however I tell her we need to meet up and talk. So we meet up and I tell her that I like her and had to know what she thought of me. She told me that she had feelings for me but were "uncertain" and needed time. She wanted to take small steps. I guess things were going to fast? Anyways after that she knows that I like her and I am not quite sure whether she likes me back. So I wait a week and ask her out on another date and she agrees. During the whole date we hold hands. We end up having a BLAST. When I drop her off she tells me that she had so much fun and thanked me so much for taking her out. Now this is where I am confused because if she just thought as me as a friend and she knew that I liked her, why would she respond to my texts, calls and dates? I am sure she has some feelings for me and likes me but she is just very insecure. Not sure whether I should pursue more with her or just call it quits because she is playing me.
bubbaganoosh Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 Maybe because I'm old but to me small steps mean just that. Giant steps means spending the night. If she wants to take small steps the what are the biggies?
Valen Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 All this asking her about how she feels about you is kinda off putting. It's like you need conformation she likes you before you want to further invest in this relationship. The fact that she continue to date you and even make out with you and stay over is clear indication she is interested in you. Don't try to rush the emotions out of her. Let it develop at her pace. 5
Author jinandjuice Posted November 1, 2013 Author Posted November 1, 2013 (edited) how long is too long though? Before me I think she was dating another guy and not sure if she is still dating him. I just don't want to take it so slow to the point where I get friend zoned. do i ask her again how she feels or is that too much? Should i keep asking her out to hang out ? Edited November 1, 2013 by jinandjuice
Valen Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 how long is too long though? Before me I think she was dating another guy and not sure if she is still dating him. I just don't want to take it so slow to the point where I get friend zoned. do i ask her again how she feels or is that too much? Should i keep asking her out to hang out ? Don't ask her how she feels, let her tell you on her own accord. Just ask her out again, and escalate the physical contact. And the next time she stays over, it's a pretty big green light to go all the way. I think that's what she expected. It's important to maintain that physical attraction and chemistry. Dating should be fun, passionate, not serious emotional feely neely talk, that comes later when you two are more serious about each other.
Author jinandjuice Posted November 1, 2013 Author Posted November 1, 2013 It's just it's been me that has been initiating all the dates. I mean she responds well to them but she's never asked to go. It's usually me that initiates our talks etc. not sure if its because she thinks it's the mans job to do buy I don't know
Valen Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 It's just it's been me that has been initiating all the dates. I mean she responds well to them but she's never asked to go. It's usually me that initiates our talks etc. not sure if its because she thinks it's the mans job to do buy I don't know If you are always initiating, then it's not a good relationship. Try not to contact her for a while and see if she'll contact you first. If not, then you get your answer.
Author jinandjuice Posted November 1, 2013 Author Posted November 1, 2013 (edited) She contacts me but its usually through snapchat. Tricky thing is I dot know f she snapchats me alone or through a list of people. It's hard to avoid her because we are all in the same college classes. Maybe I'm just over thinking but I appreciate your insight. There was this one time I didn't go to school and my phone was dead and she texted me called me and came to my house to check up on me. Don't know if that was just being friendly or because she cared for me. Probably over thinking it Edited November 1, 2013 by jinandjuice
thefirsttenmin Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 Make your own decision, what your mind will say. Do not listen what your heart said. Think from your mind.
Author jinandjuice Posted November 1, 2013 Author Posted November 1, 2013 Make your own decision, what your mind will say. Do not listen what your heart said. Think from your mind. Ah so much easier said than done
d0nnivain Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 Not everybody has the ability to talk about their relationships or their feelings. My husband sucks at it; I actually bought him a Thesaurus because I was sick of getting 4 letter answers -- good, fine, nice etc. You put your cards out there -- a bit early IMO -- but hey good for you for being a brave guy. Now keep dating her & stop trying to talk this relationship to death.
Phantom888 Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 Assuming you are kinda young...around 20? This happened to me when I was 20. The girl and I held hands and cuddled every date. Walks on the beach, dinner, fun, movies, cuddles. The whole time she wouldn't tell me she likes me. YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE SHE WAS TRYING TO DECIDE WHO TO PICK. She was doing the same thing with this other guy. When I found out, I beat the **** out of the other guy in front of her, and left.
Author jinandjuice Posted November 1, 2013 Author Posted November 1, 2013 Yes I am around my twenties. Damn bro that is some hardcore ****. Don't know if I would take the same route but props.
tlegend Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 Assuming you are kinda young...around 20? This happened to me when I was 20. The girl and I held hands and cuddled every date. Walks on the beach, dinner, fun, movies, cuddles. The whole time she wouldn't tell me she likes me. YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE SHE WAS TRYING TO DECIDE WHO TO PICK. She was doing the same thing with this other guy. When I found out, I beat the **** out of the other guy in front of her, and left. Were you under the impression that this was a monogamous dating thing? Because it sounds like she didn't get that memo.
deathandtaxes Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 Assuming you are kinda young...around 20? This happened to me when I was 20. The girl and I held hands and cuddled every date. Walks on the beach, dinner, fun, movies, cuddles. The whole time she wouldn't tell me she likes me. YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE SHE WAS TRYING TO DECIDE WHO TO PICK. She was doing the same thing with this other guy. When I found out, I beat the **** out of the other guy in front of her, and left. Huh? What did the other guy do? He was in the same situation as you. 1
tlegend Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 Huh? What did the other guy do? He was in the same situation as you. Apparently, his response was to punch this guy's fist ....with his head.
Author jinandjuice Posted November 4, 2013 Author Posted November 4, 2013 Would it be wise to move in for a kiss again or let her?
d0nnivain Posted November 4, 2013 Posted November 4, 2013 If you are the guy, you should move in for the kiss. If you don't she will conclude that you don't like her. 1
Author jinandjuice Posted November 4, 2013 Author Posted November 4, 2013 If you are the guy, you should move in for the kiss. If you don't she will conclude that you don't like her. I agree but the only reason why I ask is because we made out already an she said we were going to fast and wanted to take baby steps. She already knows I like her because I have told her but she is uncertain.
d0nnivain Posted November 4, 2013 Posted November 4, 2013 One kiss is not a full blown make out session. You should still make the move to kiss her goodnight if not hello & goodnight.
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