generic person Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 I understand you initiate no contact to allow yourself to heal and move on not to be manipulative But I was wondering if anybody has had success after or during a No contact period with there ex contacting them. If so how far into NC were you? were you the dumpee or dumper? and how long were you together for. It seems the longer i go NC for the more I miss her and want to contact her, so far roughly 70 days no contact feeling really weak today.
Stryker101 Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 Every situation is different... With that being said, you did state what NC is used for which is a good step. But any sort of re-conciliation that comes from merely NC will just be a temporary fix that will lead to the same problems you had in the first place. Good Luck.
Valen Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 No contact isn't a tool meant to get someone back, it's a tool meant to help you move on. And you will not move on if you still want them back. 4
Salvatore85 Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 I got my ex back when I didn't care anymore. But I must warn you getting them back is the easy part. Maintaining the relationship after you get them back is the hard part. Make sure you really take the time to work on the things that need to be worked on. I thought I changed but the reality was I didn't want to change to be something she would love, I wanted her to love me for who I was. So think long and hard about whether or not you want someone back who wants you to be something different... 7
OJ loved Nicole Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 Mine came back, my story below. The key to getting your ex back is.... well, there is no key. They either come back or they don't. You can't focus on things you can't control, only focus on things you can control.... YOU! Focusing on yourself (in the beginning) is very hard to do. Especially when a large chunk of what you know/lived with has been removed from you. Focusing on yourself is an essential part of transitioning from "couple you" (which is dead or dying) to "single you". It takes a lot of mental toughness to focus on yourself and do things for yourself, when all you want is to shrivel up and succumb to the pain. As you continue to force loving yourself, it will become more and more natural and you'll start truly loving yourself again. When my ex came back I had a very hard time re-transitioning back to "couple me" from "single me"..... I still do honestly. She doesn't like being apart but I still make time to date myself. I take myself shopping, dinners by myself, generally make time for "me time". Although it's selfish, I never forget I'm the most important person. Relationships can end at any time, read through the forum (especially the divorce, infidelity sections) ..... but I will always be stuck with myself. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/427365-my-ex-came-back-me-how-happened 1
d0nnivain Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 It takes a while to get over sombody. 70 days is barely 2 months. Hang in there. You really don't want your broken relationship back; you do want to not be alone. That will come again, with a new person.
lindsay1990 Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 (edited) Mine never came back. On day 515 of NC. Hahahaha This made me laugh out loud, for real That's the spirit. (We're on the same boat btw, I'm at 72 days NC but SUUUUUREEEE I'm never hearing from ex again) Edited November 1, 2013 by lindsay1990 day count was off
MoooOinkBaaa Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 Mine never came back. On day 515 of NC. LMFAO, this made my day. Did you meet anyone else? I'm done with people in general.
Fufu Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 I understand you initiate no contact to allow yourself to heal and move on not to be manipulative But I was wondering if anybody has had success after or during a No contact period with there ex contacting them. If so how far into NC were you? were you the dumpee or dumper? and how long were you together for. It seems the longer i go NC for the more I miss her and want to contact her, so far roughly 70 days no contact feeling really weak today. Yes you are right NC is to allow oneself to heal and move on and not used as a tactic to lure ex back. To answer your question: I was with one of my ex that dated 6-7 years back. We were together for less than one year eventually he broke up with me because he felt that he still had feelings with his ex. Yes I was the rebound After the break up, I went completely NC, deleted his number and moved on with my life. Throughout the 6-7 years, I never contacted him, he never contacted me. He was already completely out of my life and I don't show any emotional attachments towards him (only during the 1st 2 months when I was feeling very hurt over the break up). I then went into 1 or 2 short term relationships and another 3 years relationship with my previous ex. After my previous ex dumped me after 3 years, I was shattered and was single for 3 years. I guess there are some sort of lingering fate or destiny with my ex and we saw each other a few times at different locations but never once we really did reach out to one another as we thought that we were both attached (Truth is we were already single). So one day after seeing me someplace again, this time he initiated the contact and we began to talk and realized that we enjoyed each other company so much better compared to past and that eventually led us to another brand new relationship. NC did not let me get back with him. I personally think that somehow it is really fate that allow us to be together again.
KatZee Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 LMFAO, this made my day. Did you meet anyone else? I'm done with people in general. I've dated casually here and there, and I've hooked up with people since. I'm completely over my ex, but now so completely in love with being single that the thought of being in a relationship, and all the crap that comes along with it, ie: drama, fights, always worrying about someone else, suddenly becoming a "we" instead of a "me," just makes me dry heave. These have been the best 515 days of my life. I really found myself, discovered passions I didn't even know I had, I go out and do new things all the time, I've met new people, reconnected with old friends... my life is just a blast 24/7. 4
MoooOinkBaaa Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 You know what I'm doing the same, I was waaaay happy before I met my ex and I'm going back to that.
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