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My ex-girlfriend said she doesn't want to be together now, but not sure about later..

teobeo94

By teobeo94
in Second Chances

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teobeo94 Member

teobeo94

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I gave her a letter today after two weeks since we broke up. She said she wants to remain friends because we are both good people to each other, but she for sure does not want to get back now because she recently lost her feelings for me. I asked her does that mean that she will never want to get back with me (I wanted to make sure so I can move on peacefully), but she said she is not sure.

 

I told her that if that's the case, then we both should keep in contact and wait until mid december to see how things go. It's not that I can't move on, it's that I feel she is worth the wait. Was this a good idea?

Edited by teobeo94
Never Again Established Member

Never Again

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Not really.

 

If you delay your healing process, you'll only do yourself a disservice.

 

Also, sticking around in the hopes her feelings will come back...not the most attractive thing.

 

When you're 100% healed, then sure! Hang out, see what comes. But until then, if you stick around, she'll control you without you even realizing it.

 

You won't really be yourself. You'll be a wounded shade of who you once were.

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teobeo94 Member

teobeo94

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I mean she's not the type to control me. If anything, she's too nice and that may be why she wants to remain contact with me. I'm just not sure.

ponchsox Established Member

ponchsox

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I gave her a letter today after two weeks since we broke up. She said she wants to remain friends because we are both good people to each other, but she for sure does not want to get back now because she recently lost her feelings for me. I asked her does that mean that she will never want to get back with me (I wanted to make sure so I can move on peacefully), but she said she is not sure.

 

I told her that if that's the case, then we both should keep in contact and wait until mid december to see how things go. It's not that I can't move on, it's that I feel she is worth the wait. Was this a good idea?

 

If you wait, you're going to be dissapointed. If you go NC and move on, there's a small chance you might be surprised when she contacts you.

NC_unbearable Member

NC_unbearable

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And either way she decides to go after NC, you will be better off. It might be hard to face it, but its true. Give her space, give yourself space.

Never Again Established Member

Never Again

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I mean she's not the type to control me. If anything, she's too nice and that may be why she wants to remain contact with me. I'm just not sure.

 

That's why I said she'd probably do it without realizing.

 

When you're vulnerable, people can pull your strings.

 

Even nice people will do this.

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teobeo94 Member

teobeo94

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Thank you for all of the responses, I really appreciate it. After some thoughts, I'll keep some distance from her for now.

HeartBorken Member

HeartBorken

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I have been in this situation before and i can honestly tell you that sticking around is going to lead to heartbreak. It's better to go NC and improve yourself and basically move on. Then if she calls see where things go. The reason i say this is because i don't think you want to be around if she ever decides to start dating around if only casually.

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2fargone Established Member

2fargone

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Ye don't stick around... She doesn't need you to be around to figure things out. It will either come or it won't...

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teobeo94 Member

teobeo94

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I initiated the texting yesterday (complimenting how she looked when we met yesterday since we go to the same college). I could tell she was definitely happy that I noticed, but other than that the rest of the convo was neutral (or rather she was trying to be distant while I was trying to get closer).

 

Today I texted for several hours until 7pm, then she stopped texting me. Awhile later i sent her two more texts with the last one being a good night one.

 

Other than the compliments, everything else has been neutral so I can tell she still isn't sure if she wants me back. Basing on the fact that she still replies to my texts, I plan to ask her to dinner next Thursday. Is that a good idea?

Edited by teobeo94
Fufu Established Member

Fufu

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I initiated the texting yesterday (complimenting how she looked when we met yesterday since we go to the same college). I could tell she was definitely happy that I noticed, but other than that the rest of the convo was neutral (or rather she was trying to be distant while I was trying to get closer).

 

Today I texted for several hours until 7pm, then she stopped texting me. Awhile later i sent her two more texts with the last one being a good night one.

 

Other than the compliments, everything else has been neutral so I can tell she still isn't sure if she wants me back. Basing on the fact that she still replies to my texts, I plan to ask her to dinner next Thursday. Is that a good idea?

 

 

I need more details, how long were you guys together? how long ago was the break up? Did you ever go into NC? Were you the dumper or the dumpee? What actually happened that cause the break up?

 

Based on what you said that you felt she wasn't sure about wanting me back. I actually think that if she is the dumper and replying to your texts really doesn't mean much at all. Furthermore, it doesn't seem that she is very into communicating with you.

Fufu Established Member

Fufu

Posted
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I gave her a letter today after two weeks since we broke up. She said she wants to remain friends because we are both good people to each other, but she for sure does not want to get back now because she recently lost her feelings for me. I asked her does that mean that she will never want to get back with me (I wanted to make sure so I can move on peacefully), but she said she is not sure.

 

I told her that if that's the case, then we both should keep in contact and wait until mid december to see how things go. It's not that I can't move on, it's that I feel she is worth the wait. Was this a good idea?

 

 

The thing is she wants to only remain friends with you. And it will be very hurtful to over think about the future.

 

By staying contact with her, it will only make you more depressed. It's not a good decision in my opinion.

BC1980 Established Member

BC1980

Posted
Posted
I initiated the texting yesterday (complimenting how she looked when we met yesterday since we go to the same college). I could tell she was definitely happy that I noticed, but other than that the rest of the convo was neutral (or rather she was trying to be distant while I was trying to get closer).

 

Today I texted for several hours until 7pm, then she stopped texting me. Awhile later i sent her two more texts with the last one being a good night one.

 

Other than the compliments, everything else has been neutral so I can tell she still isn't sure if she wants me back. Basing on the fact that she still replies to my texts, I plan to ask her to dinner next Thursday. Is that a good idea?

 

It means nothing. Especially since you initiated it. Remember that it's pretty easy to get someone to respond to a text because it's such a lazy form of communication. You don't really have to put much thought into what to say or actually look at the person. Texting is an awful way to gauge someone's interest.

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