Really, how common are hookups these days?

[oppo]

I'm 43. I date women between the ages of 25-45. However, most all of the women I've dated in the past two years are 'hooking up' with other men fairly often, not crazy often, but more than I thought. The problem is that I don't usually find out about it until later.

 

How common are hook-ups these days, for people in the 21-45 age range? I would love very much to 'hook up' more, and even though I'm a very attractive guy, and pretty good in bed, I find it difficult to be open sexually. I've been that way my whole life... I wish I could change that a bit, I'm getting more comfortable lately.

 

Anyway, just wanted to know how often people (who aren't seriously dating anyone) 'hook up' with other people these days? I know there is no fixed number, but for a reasonably attractive and outgoing person 21-45, are people that "laid back" now that they might have several hook-ups over a short period of time?

 

Any advice on how I can be more comfortable doing this while I'm not in any particular relationship? heh... How not to be jealous when you know the person you're dating is hooking up sometimes?

[oppo]

Also, what is a good way to suggest to a woman that you'd like to have a fun/hook-up relationship? I've honestly never had a real "sex buddy" before. I've dated plenty of women, but none of them were F buddies. I'd actually like to find one, but the few times I've asked not only was I rejected, but I was made to feel like a creep. And I find that ridiculous because there is no doubt women like sex as much as men.

[AntiSocal]

This question is impossible to answer. Everyone has different values. Everyone has different sex drives. No two people are a like.

 

That being said "hooking up" is fairly common. But why should that even matter? What a girl does before she met you isn't really any of your business.

 

And if you are worried you aren't "hooking up" enough then go out there and "hook up" some more.

[phineas]

First off i'm almost 42.

ALL of the women I know from early 20's to middle 40's have hooked up with at least a few guys they just met at parties. They currently sleep with other co-workers or ex's or have a standard f-buddy they met somewhere else..

This is why I they are just people I hang out with.

 

second.

You don't suggest it.

when she asks what you are looking for you tell her your really not looking for a relationship or just looking to have fun then let her make the decision to keep seeing you.

 

At that point if she still see's you, then you gotta make the move. If she shuts you down, move onto the next.

 

It's easier when they sleep with you on the first or 2nd date because no sane person can expect a relationship.

 

also, they may suggest FWB themselves up front or just sleep with you on the first date then tell you they don't want a relationship and disappear.

 

As long as your cool about it and not bother them they usually contact you again down the rd. for more sex.

 

That's the best one I think.

 

But if you aren't in good enough shape, good looking or charming enough for a woman to want to just jump your bones getting a FWB probably won't be easy for you.

 

 

 

Also, what is a good way to suggest to a woman that you'd like to have a fun/hook-up relationship? I've honestly never had a real "sex buddy" before. I've dated plenty of women, but none of them were F buddies. I'd actually like to find one, but the few times I've asked not only was I rejected, but I was made to feel like a creep. And I find that ridiculous because there is no doubt women like sex as much as men.

[AntiSocal]

Also, what is a good way to suggest to a woman that you'd like to have a fun/hook-up relationship? I've honestly never had a real "sex buddy" before. I've dated plenty of women, but none of them were F buddies. I'd actually like to find one, but the few times I've asked not only was I rejected, but I was made to feel like a creep. And I find that ridiculous because there is no doubt women like sex as much as men.

 

What do you look like? It is easier for some guys to get casual sex then others. I'm fairly decent looking so i actually have women approaching me.

 

Most important thing when it comes to casual sex is body. You gotta be fit. You don't have to be buff but you need to workout. There is a million guys with perfect bodies who will have sex with anything that moves. If your body is lacking girls wont want you.

 

How you approach is up to you. If its a girl you see on a day to day basis then just flirt with her. Work on building sexual tension. Then ask her out on a low class date. A party or movies at your place. Keep building the sexual tension. Go for a kiss and just make your moves from there. They key is to get her so horny she doesn't want to say no.

 

For girls you want to cold approach just ask them out on a date. Take them out for something low class. Then start putting the moves on them hard. You basically want to skip right from friend to sex. No lovey dovey stuff in between.

 

Asking girls to have sex with you never works. Ever. Even when you have a girlfriend and you say "baby will you have sex with me?" she hardly ever says yes. Its more about flirting and getting them in the mode. Making them want it more then you.

 

And never seem desperate.

 

EDIT: and the most important part is getting them to "hang out" alone with you. If you can get a girl in your apartment you're pretty much in there.

[Valen]

That's one of my deal breaker. If my date talks about her past hook ups, I'm no longer interested. Same with females that have friends with benefits. I'm not interested in these types of girls.