ponchsox Posted October 31, 2013 Posted October 31, 2013 I was doing so well until I reached out to her via text and got a happy birthday today. I guess part of my is still curious if she cares. NC is so much easier said than done, and anyone who hasn't broken it I commend you.
lindsay1990 Posted October 31, 2013 Posted October 31, 2013 Now you know. Day Zero of NC, if you want it, it's yours. It happens to all of us, don't beat yourself up about it
BottleofHope Posted October 31, 2013 Posted October 31, 2013 It's okay, start at 0 again but make sure don't contact her! I know that when you watched a good movie or found good things you wish to tell her and you thought she would care BUT SHE DOESN'T. She doesn't even contact you when she finds something cool or awesome or stories to share with. She doesn't feel comfortable going back to chatting or talking the way you were before so you should let her be. She already has her mind set after breaking up, by not showing that you care does not make you lose points! You already have points stored from your previous relationship. Everything you do now will only decrease the points you have saved previously. You can't force her to miss you, you can't force her to love you too, if she comes back it will only happen because she wants it to. Stay strong! I'm hitting one week NC tomorrow.
NC_unbearable Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 You need to let her go in your heart. Every feeling that you get just accept it, say yes to whatever you feel weighing on you. If you are anxious about the future, just welcome the anxiety and if you really welcome it, the feeling will pass. If you are lonely, that's okay, don't fight the feeling of loneliness or try to get your mind off of it. Look the loneliness in the face and embrace it, this is the only way to truly release emotions. Keep doing this for every feeling that comes between you and your happiness. Soon you will find that you are letting go of more and more things that you may not have even knew affected your life. The goal is yourself, loving yourself. Focus on your heart. If she doesn't want to be with you, then soon you will be over her if you keep releasing your emotions. If she wants to get back with you in her heart but shes confused, you need to give her space so she can find out what she truly wants, either way you need to focus on yourself and release all of your emotions so that you can be happy. This includes letting go of her in your heart, which should be your ultimate goal for self recovery.
Never Again Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 Ever thought maybe she hasn't reached out to you because she cares? Sometimes the most caring and respectful thing that it dumper can do is leave the dumpee alone. If there is to be contact, I do believe that the dumper should be the one initiating it, but it shouldn't happen until far in the future. If they have an ounce of self-awareness, then they know they hurt somebody. If I was a dumper, and I ever really cared about the person I had just left, I would leave them alone for a good long while. Hell, i'd leave them alone no matter why I wanted to talk to them. Even if I felt guilty, wanted to wish them well, or wanted to get back together with them, or just wanted to say hello...I'd leave them alone because I'd be afraid of hurting them again, of interrupting their healing from the wound I had caused. 3
cottom Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 Straight up you wont let her go, no contact with a girl youve shared stuff with is impossible. The thing is you need to try to not talk, you can send the random text when you feel the urge because it would kill you to go cold turkey straight up. No contact does not get the girl back, it gives you the space to think about everything, realize what they actually did to you in leaving you and how they dont care for you, only themselves as they hurt you this much. It gets you over them, and if you go 100% no contact it can help but also hinder as you will constantly think what you could have said. Eventually the occasional text will get more spread apart and one day you will find out she moved on and you will feel like meh not like i talk to her that much anymore. Go out with your friends in this time, to be honest i found it best that i made new friends. Making a new group of friends will help because they dont know you, you cant mope and bring up memories of your ex cause theyll think your a boring sad mate, so it keeps you happy. Faking a smile for long enough makes you eventually think you are happy and it becomes easier. Dont think of it as i broke contact i have to start again cause you will be building up until the next text and thinking i want to text cause i cant, wanting to do it even more.
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