Mario79 Posted October 31, 2013 Posted October 31, 2013 Im feeling really weak right now, I want to talk to my ex, and just reach out, fully knowing she would not like it, that she has asked me never to talk to her again. I just get so frightened by so my many thoughts in my head. It's over whelming. I want to tell her I need her in my life and to please give me a second chance. Just each day since our last contact have been so tough. I am swamped with work and my brain still brings her to me. I dont know what to do at times. I tell myself just make it through the day and it will be ok. It's eating away at me.
aaron11892 Posted October 31, 2013 Posted October 31, 2013 Do NOT do it! You commented on my thread yesterday about the same thing. I was feeling the same way but now after thinking about it today, the urge has settled a little. Contacting them will do no good at all! If she broke up with you then it's only down to her to fix it. If you do contact and perhaps she does want to get back together, it will only be through guilt and then before you know it she'll be gone again. I'm moving on with my life. At the back of my mind I do have some hope that she does contact me again someday but that'll be down to her. There is nothing I can do that will ever change her mind. No contact...stick at it. We all go through tough phases, you are going through one right now. The feeling does pass. Tough it out man!
ToBeTrue Posted October 31, 2013 Posted October 31, 2013 Im feeling really weak right now, I want to talk to my ex, and just reach out, fully knowing she would not like it, that she has asked me never to talk to her again. I just get so frightened by so my many thoughts in my head. It's over whelming. I want to tell her I need her in my life and to please give me a second chance. Just each day since our last contact have been so tough. I am swamped with work and my brain still brings her to me. I dont know what to do at times. I tell myself just make it through the day and it will be ok. It's eating away at me. Please do not do this, you said yourself she won't like it so how are you going to feel when you get no reply? Or even worse when you get a reply and it's nothing that you want to hear. Get through today, see how you feel tomorrow and if you still feel the same then get through tomorrow. That's all you can do, day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute. Hell, second by second if that's what it takes. You know what you've got to do, this **** hurts like hell but you will come out the other side all the better for what you've been through. Everything happens for a reason and I truly believe there is something so much better and rewarding out there for us, you've just got to get through the other side. Keep on keeping on my friend, big hugs to you 1
Author Mario79 Posted October 31, 2013 Author Posted October 31, 2013 At points I feel alright and at others I am overwhelmed. I wish she would contact me, so much so because she asked me never to talk to her again. Thank you for your support. I am so grateful. I am upset that I cant control this, I try so hard to not feel it. I cant. I feel like apologizing but I dont know to who or why.
ToBeTrue Posted October 31, 2013 Posted October 31, 2013 I understand completely how you feel, one minute you feel like you've turned a corner and the next... smack bang at the beginning!! I too feel like I need to apologise, but what for? Loving him, supporting him, giving him space when he needed it? We are just looking for reasons to understand the demise of our relationship, we don't have their daily point of view so we look to our fluctuating emotions and blame ourselves. Maybe our exes do that too, who knows? Probably best not to dwell on that too much anyway. Focus on yourself, do what you need to do to move on without her. You've got one life, how much of it are you prepared to waste not getting over this? It'll take time, but don't let it completely take over you
Author Mario79 Posted October 31, 2013 Author Posted October 31, 2013 Im just dealing with a lot of emotion blows, my best friend which I was hoping would come back in december will now stay abroad for maybe 2 years more, my good friend from work quit. I dont have my girlfriend, I have my family but I feel abandoned. I dont know what to do.
ToBeTrue Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 Ok, let's flip this thing on its head.... Your best friend may be living abroad for the next 2yrs, so get saving & get your ar$e out there for a visit as soon as you can afford it. The planning will give you some focus & the distance may also give you some perspective. Maybe your friend from work could go with you, now they've quit there's nothing to stop you taking leave at the same time. You say you have your family but you feel abandoned. You don't feel abandoned by your family surely? You feel abandoned by your ex, lean on your family that's what they're there for. Who else can we turn to if we can't turn to our family & good friends? In the 8 wks I've been apart from my ex my mum has called me every day, twice a day. It can be annoying at times but I don't think I'd have made it through without her. You're hurting and nothing seems right at the moment, I get that completely. But you have to celebrate the good in your life & it seems to me there is still a lot of good in your life. Friends, family, work etc.... I see you're in Costa Rica! I know a very hot British chick who has been living in Puerto Viejo for the last 8 yrs, I could always sort out an introduction The world will carry on turning we just need to keep up with the motion xx 2
Author Mario79 Posted November 1, 2013 Author Posted November 1, 2013 I must say you just brought a smile on my face. Thank you. I just hate change, and I got boatload this year. So much so that I just feel bad. I have been leaning on my mom like a crutch. Thank you, I wish we could hang out, cause I really need the company sometimes. 1
ToBeTrue Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 You're more than welcome, if I've bought a smile to someone's face than that makes my day! I've not had an awful lot to smile about lately!! I know what you mean about change, my whole life has been turned upside down in the space of 8 weeks, well in the space of 2 days if you can count going from being in a loving relationship to staying on my brothers sofa for the last 8 wks!!! Keep leaning on your mum, she loves you and she's probably the only person that will love you unconditionally. I wish we could hang out too, i also need the company. But I'm here on LS if you ever need to chat.
loveofhorses1970 Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 Everyone goes through it. Look at it this way. When the urge is so strong to contact her, that is emotion and not wisdom. Wait on the contact. The urge will pass. It's tough to go through, but you'll be glad you did. Especially if she has already said she doesn't want contact. 1
Author Mario79 Posted November 1, 2013 Author Posted November 1, 2013 Yeah, just too much change. Thank you ToBeTrue. I will be here as well, when I am not going insane I am good listener. And Loveofhorses, you are right, that is just emotion. Not wisdom or rationale. Ive always known I am an emotional person so I always keep people at bay. I know what you say is true. This is a tough lesson to learn. 1
ToBeTrue Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 Everyone goes through it. Look at it this way. When the urge is so strong to contact her, that is emotion and not wisdom. Wait on the contact. The urge will pass. It's tough to go through, but you'll be glad you did. Especially if she has already said she doesn't want contact. Amen to that!
loveofhorses1970 Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 I'm emotionally based, also. I know how you feel. Broke contact myself just this past Monday and regret it. Do not do it!
Author Mario79 Posted November 1, 2013 Author Posted November 1, 2013 Thank you so much. The people that I can talk to about this are getting upset that this is all I talk of. I try not to, but I always want to answer honestly when they ask me how am I doing. Being able to at let out without holding back helps. Just trying to get through each task, each hour, each day, having to see things in small sections just to feel I can get through each one is what my life has no become. Everything came crashing down, and am left with the things I wanted to ignore, I am afraid and yet I have to keep going.
ponchsox Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 Why would you reach out to your dumper? Would you reach out to someone who punched you in the face? Who stole money from you? She hurt you. Reach out to a friend or family member. Read a motivational book when you are feeling down. 1
Author Mario79 Posted November 1, 2013 Author Posted November 1, 2013 I just dont see her that way, that is my problem, I just see her as the last woman in the world at times. I do reach out to family and friends. I understand what you say I just cant seem to get into that mindset.
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