oh goshh, whyyy

[faithfully]

Oh gosh!!! dunno where to start. Day 7 NC and this is sooo hard!!! when I say hard, I mean it!!

 

just a quick update: boyfriend broke up with me about 6weeks ago as I was a walking doormat. did everything for him including paid his bills, debts, arrears, EEVERYTHING whilst he didn't have a job then left after my money was running out and told him I can noo longer pay them things for him and moved out of our apartment we got together.

 

I did the dumpee thing: beg, cried, pleaded, cried more, pleaded, drove to his mothers to see him.

 

found this site then went no contact for 7 days then broke it when landlord needed something from him to renew my lease. after I got it after he was being awkward and stubborn.

 

He bragged how he getting his life back together, got a new job, new car and how life is great after not being with me which hurt, called me all sorts of nasty names said how my family doesn't care as I don't speak to my parents so used it to get to me.

 

Day 7 of NC and the 1st day was very hard painful but as the day goes by I am getting stronger and look back at how stupid and blind I was during the relationship and still blame myself how I could allow something who I loved use and walk all over me. When I think of him I no longer cry

 

I am trying to chat to other guys but I don't know maybe its just way too soon for me but I think if I do it will help me move on quickly, been on 1 date at the start but just wasn't my type coz was still thinking of my ex.

 

I don't have his number, I de-activated myself off facebook. ive not contacted him or nothing now. Ive brought books to help me heal, read them and I don't know what more to do. I drive to work singing surviour by Destinys Child to help me because the lyrics are power and give me the courage

 

Last night I had a dream about him and I getting back together but I and just brought back memory for me wanting him and right now I prob would have him back but in a years time or 6months I know I wouldn't want nothing to do with him.

 

Just looking for advice on what I can do to move on or what things have you guys done to help you move on. Any help or words will do

[lindsay1990]

[...] moved out of our apartment we got together.

 

I did the dumpee thing: beg, cried, pleaded, cried more, pleaded, drove to his mothers to see him.

 

I don't understand, you broke up and moved out and then ended up pleading to get back together? It's okay, I did it too just trying to clarify.

 

 

 

Just looking for advice on what I can do to move on or what things have you guys done to help you move on. Any help or words will do

 

 

Don't push yourself to talk to new guys. There is little you can do to speed up the healing other than what you are doing, which is NC. I know it doesn't feel that way but 7 days is nothing, you just have to give it time. Just stick it out and you will get out of the break up fog soon enough. Don't rush yourself, but don't trip backwards and break NC.

 

Obviously this guy was immature/bitter enough to snap at you and hit you where it hurt (your parents) so just let it be for some time. There is no substitute for time, just stay strong and ride out the NC wave.

[faithfully]

I don't understand, you broke up and moved out and then ended up pleading to get back together? It's okay, I did it too just trying to clarify.

 

 

yeah when he moved out the apartment and stayed at his mothers, I begged him back, cried and pleaded and got nowhere.

[AnnaAnna]

I know how hard it is for you right now. The first few weeks were pure hell for me. All you do is think about him and what ifs. If you can keep yourself busy somehow, that would help you the most. Get out with your friends or family. Do not try dating yet! It's just not going to work. You will be thinking about your ex the whole time you're with your date. You will try to compare them to each other and you will realize no man can compare to him. He's still perfect in your eyes.

Take this time to heal. This should be the time for you only. It's all about you right now.

 

 

Take care

[Mr Scorpio]

Just looking for advice on what I can do to move on or what things have you guys done to help you move on. Any help or words will do

 

Well, I spent the first couple of weeks sulking online and in bed under the covers. I think everyone should allow themselves some period of time mourning the loss of the relationship. Beyond that? Hobbies. Lots of hobbies. Learn an instrument, try a new recipe, read some good books, exercise, learn to play chess and poker, catch-up on some television series, and keep posting.

[Lost_Dragon]

You only sing while on your way to work? Try it at home. Try some new music. I find myself connecting to music that I never gave a chance to before my broken heart. Lyrics mean so much more to me now. Sing as if nobody is listening. Let it out!

Scream at the top of your lungs if you have to!

 

Don't just survive, Thrive on life.

[todreaminblue]

No contact is the only way....even though its painful it gets easier.....as time progresses.....i know this sounds daggy but praying helps.....it really does....youget a certain sense of peaceful reflection like looking through a water mirror it doesnt seem as intense after you pray ...theres a part of your heart that can be at peace for a while the part that hurts....i find when i dont pray everything gets on top of me if i dont give my heart what it wants...which is to talk to god.....i believe all hearts want to be at that place of reflection at peace with what has happeend or abotu to happen or to deal with things that have to happen....near the water mirror talking to god......yeah sound like a jesus freak dont i ...guess what ...i am that freak....smilin...suffer...i am one. i really dont give a flying bat fart what i sound like i am being truthful.,......and it really does help ...now you can believe me or choose not to believe me...another of gods gift is the agency to choose...but if you choose on your own volition to speak to the one who created you who knows your heart and protects that heart from falling to pieces or becoming cold and dead.........suddenly life becomes a little simpler and you give god that chance to prove how love is meant to feel......pure unadulterated all loving.....so easy.........from my heart to yours....speak, seek and you shall find peace....or struggle asking people on love shack who wont know how to really help you like the only man that can.......heres another song for you i find it uplifting...

 

 

many actually

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

you will find peace ...you will find happiness and you will fidn teh right guy for you...if you have faith..in soemthing other than yrouself......faith is believing in the unbelievable with the very heart of who you are..on your way to that place drag as many with you as you can.....the world will be better for it...deb

[faithfully]

Day 8 of NC just had a lil cry this morning after reading some post on LS, just upset me thinking of my ex.

 

Just wish this pain would stop so i can finally get over him. Last night i had a dream about him which didnt help!!

 

Some days i feel ok and other like this morning i break down like a child. I am still hurting hard!!

[Haydn]

Hang in there. This NC is not easy. I am over 3 months and it has got worse. I guess things have to get worse before they better. Keep going and post here instaed of reaching out. Take care.

 

 

 

Oh gosh!!! dunno where to start. Day 7 NC and this is sooo hard!!! when I say hard, I mean it!!

 

just a quick update: boyfriend broke up with me about 6weeks ago as I was a walking doormat. did everything for him including paid his bills, debts, arrears, EEVERYTHING whilst he didn't have a job then left after my money was running out and told him I can noo longer pay them things for him and moved out of our apartment we got together.

 

I did the dumpee thing: beg, cried, pleaded, cried more, pleaded, drove to his mothers to see him.

 

found this site then went no contact for 7 days then broke it when landlord needed something from him to renew my lease. after I got it after he was being awkward and stubborn.

 

He bragged how he getting his life back together, got a new job, new car and how life is great after not being with me which hurt, called me all sorts of nasty names said how my family doesn't care as I don't speak to my parents so used it to get to me.

 

Day 7 of NC and the 1st day was very hard painful but as the day goes by I am getting stronger and look back at how stupid and blind I was during the relationship and still blame myself how I could allow something who I loved use and walk all over me. When I think of him I no longer cry

 

I am trying to chat to other guys but I don't know maybe its just way too soon for me but I think if I do it will help me move on quickly, been on 1 date at the start but just wasn't my type coz was still thinking of my ex.

 

I don't have his number, I de-activated myself off facebook. ive not contacted him or nothing now. Ive brought books to help me heal, read them and I don't know what more to do. I drive to work singing surviour by Destinys Child to help me because the lyrics are power and give me the courage

 

Last night I had a dream about him and I getting back together but I and just brought back memory for me wanting him and right now I prob would have him back but in a years time or 6months I know I wouldn't want nothing to do with him.

 

Just looking for advice on what I can do to move on or what things have you guys done to help you move on. Any help or words will do

[Riou]

Sounds like he has nothing wonderful for you to miss.give yourself few months time.

[faithfully]

Hang in there. This NC is not easy. I am over 3 months and it has got worse. I guess things have to get worse before they better. Keep going and post here instaed of reaching out. Take care.

 

 

Thanks for your kind words. Noo its not easyy but i know thats the only wayy i can heal and move on to something better. Ooohh gosh i dont know if i can cope for the worse in 3 months. What you gone to help you move on?? Ive started reading self healing good on break ups but they help, just when i dont read them i think of him.

 

I am happy i have de-activated my facebook so i dont see about him that will kill me as am not readyy for that yet even tho been tempted but just remind myself not to look

 

The feeling is just awful n heartbreaking

[Lost_Dragon]

I'm practiced at goodbyes.

[faithfully]

I'm practiced at goodbyes.

 

What dyou mean?? What did u do to sayyy you goodbyes??

[Lost_Dragon]

What dyou mean?? What did u do to sayyy you goodbyes??

All it means is, you never master it.

 

Some are really good byes, some not so good byes.

 

All I know is,

I will never say goodbye to my pursuit of happiness.

[flight E]

U don't love him you hate yourself for lettin him ttreat u bad. Give it some time and some resolve. You will see you don't love this guy

[strive]

I'm sorry I have no advice for you, but I just want to say I'm so sorry you're feeling that way. Your story hits a little too close to home so I can understand a bit where you're coming from. I'm on my second week now so it's a bit better for me. Hang in there, it'll get easier!

 

Also I think Survivor is a wonderful empowering song. Thanks for the tip, I'll put it on my playback list. *\o/* My song on repeat right now is Carry On by Fun. (actually the entire Some Nights album) I love singing along to it because it gives me hope that it'll get better.

[faithfully]

U don't love him you hate yourself for lettin him ttreat u bad. Give it some time and some resolve. You will see you don't love this guy

 

WOW!!! You are sooo right in what you have sad!! Very right to a T. Yeahhh i do hate myself coz i allowed him to take my kindness for my weakness. I though i was being a good girlfriend but the more days of NC, i am starting to realise this.

[flight E]

I know because I have been there. The only difference was that I finally ended it but it doesn't make it hurt much less. The truth is when we treat ourselves badly it makes it hurt much more. I had been on a month nc. But had to break it because there was sometin I had to clarify with her sis. Yesterday I felt down as I lost someone close and looked at her dp. It's as if am starting all over again. Shut him out completely from your life. He doesn't hold d key to your self esteem. With time you will be fine jusst lik I will be. Take care am here with others to help out

[faithfully]

I know because I have been there. The only difference was that I finally ended it but it doesn't make it hurt much less. The truth is when we treat ourselves badly it makes it hurt much more. I had been on a month nc. But had to break it because there was sometin I had to clarify with her sis. Yesterday I felt down as I lost someone close and looked at her dp. It's as if am starting all over again. Shut him out completely from your life. He doesn't hold d key to your self esteem. With time you will be fine jusst lik I will be. Take care am here with others to help out

 

Thank you very much, can i ask what diid she use you for?? Yeahh you are very right in what ur saying!! I have shut him off completely everything and i am moving on with my life. We will be fine am sure we dont need users and people who r not apreciate of us

[flight E]

Well I shld say am naturally a sucker for emotional stories. When I heard ow she was an orphan no one to help an all. I started taking care of her. I mean in everything to d pads. Then we were friends we got intimate. N I got to love her. But she said we should be friends. After she acted sincere as if it meant so much to her I agreed. She was always so sincerely appreciative. And will thank and thank me for everything. I kept it up as an act of kindness and I loved her. But I was already doing these things b4 we got intimate so she knew it wasn't a manipulation to get her.

 

Well I paid her tuition, food, hair and the works. Immediately, she finished and got a job she shouted at me over something flimsy and she wouldn't have done dis b4 we resolved that. But I noticed she was acting distant and different so I told her to take space.

 

I know am not perfect but I know I treated her like a princess my major shortcoming was that it was just too obvious that I didn't want to lose her. So she took me for granted. Sorry find it difficult to type too long

[faithfully]

Well I shld say am naturally a sucker for emotional stories. When I heard ow she was an orphan no one to help an all. I started taking care of her. I mean in everything to d pads. Then we were friends we got intimate. N I got to love her. But she said we should be friends. After she acted sincere as if it meant so much to her I agreed. She was always so sincerely appreciative. And will thank and thank me for everything. I kept it up as an act of kindness and I loved her. But I was already doing these things b4 we got intimate so she knew it wasn't a manipulation to get her.

 

Well I paid her tuition, food, hair and the works. Immediately, she finished and got a job she shouted at me over something flimsy and she wouldn't have done dis b4 we resolved that. But I noticed she was acting distant and different so I told her to take space.

 

I know am not perfect but I know I treated her like a princess my major shortcoming was that it was just too obvious that I didn't want to lose her. So she took me for granted. Sorry find it difficult to type too long

 

Your just too nice thats our problem!! Soo bad when some1 takes our kindness for our weaknesses. Just soo unfair!!

 

Well her lose anyway. You dont deserve you to treated like that. We live and learn!!

[faithfully]

Dayy 11 of NC and want to blog on my update. Some of you already know my story as being a walking living door mat,

 

After everything and how he has treated me, i am feeling sooo much better as they days pass. Some days i hardly think of him or wonder what he is doing. And some days am not gonna lie i sometimes think of him.

 

When ive spoken to work mates about i noo longer break down and cry like i first did. Looking back how ****ing embarrasing. 1 thing i regret sooo deeply is begging, crying and making myself look like a desperate needy lap dog. Never will i do that again (hahaha)

 

I look back and start to realise with the help of the people who took time to read and advice, try make me see sense time is a great healer.

 

Like i said 11 days of hardcore NC, deactivated facebook, deleted all his number, not checked up on him once. Think the reason i have, well the reason i havent is i know what i dont know wont hurt.

 

One thing i know for sure is people enter our life as a lesson and some as a blessing. And i see this break up as a big lesson, so am not gonna sit and cry, ask what if. I'm gonna take it use it as a wayy to better myself as a person.

[Fufu]

Dayy 11 of NC and want to blog on my update. Some of you already know my story as being a walking living door mat,

 

After everything and how he has treated me, i am feeling sooo much better as they days pass. Some days i hardly think of him or wonder what he is doing. And some days am not gonna lie i sometimes think of him.

 

When ive spoken to work mates about i noo longer break down and cry like i first did. Looking back how ****ing embarrasing. 1 thing i regret sooo deeply is begging, crying and making myself look like a desperate needy lap dog. Never will i do that again (hahaha)

 

I look back and start to realise with the help of the people who took time to read and advice, try make me see sense time is a great healer.

 

Like i said 11 days of hardcore NC, deactivated facebook, deleted all his number, not checked up on him once. Think the reason i have, well the reason i havent is i know what i dont know wont hurt.

 

One thing i know for sure is people enter our life as a lesson and some as a blessing. And i see this break up as a big lesson, so am not gonna sit and cry, ask what if. I'm gonna take it use it as a wayy to better myself as a person.

 

11 days is really an achievement perhaps you will want to give yourself a reward for making it this far.

[faithfully]

Day 14 in my NC progress

 

Gosh this morning and am feeling really crappy, down and feeling sick!! I dont understand it!! Got this feeling in my stomach and its making me feel SICK.

 

I prob should be feeling good ive stuck to NC as long as i have. Do i think he will ever reach out now or in the future?? I really dont know??

 

I'm not gonna lie if i sayy i dont think or care about him because i do. Was tempted to activate my facebook again but i wont. Am not ready to see or read anything about him.

 

I hate myself because i still have feelings for him after all hes done to me. Used me big time and should i care about somebody who has treated me badly?? Noo!!!

 

Been going to the gym alot now, lost weight and feeling good about my body, got my nails and eyelashes done. Had a few guys chat to me, ask me on dates, its nice dont get me wrong but am 27 now and do i think i will find someone like him?? I hope so!!

 

Please guys stick to NC its hard but am sure with time i will look back and think WTF was i fussing about. I have my freedom back and also money now guess i should be grateful. With time i will find somebody that will appreciate me for me and not just for my money.

[flight E]

Don't for any reason break nc. I have been on like 40days now. Somedays will be hard. Very hard in fact. But down belittle urself. With time your mind will attune and you will see you don't love that guy. I have gotten to the point where I know I don't love someone that takes me for granted. You will get there too. Be steadfast. The universe has a way of working. He will reach you again. Not neccesarily because he wants to get back but by then be ready to tell him he is simply of no consequence anymore