lindsay1990 Posted October 31, 2013 Posted October 31, 2013 (edited) Maybe some of you remember how I planted fake rumor that I was with somebody else now, because I wanted no more pity from my ex? Well, turns out he not only said I had "severe issues" when asked by an acquaintance's girlfriend why we broke up, but when she said she was sorry to hear that he said that him too because I "would be a great girl if it wasn't for my issues and my insecurities". She didn't know what to say and said "you guys seemed so happy though" and he answered with "she was pretty abusive, I put up with it too long but I don't want to get into that". (That would be a first as he used to tell everybody who would listen our business). She (says) she didn't appreciate that because he kind of snickered and said "well all's well that ends well I guess she has a boyfriend back home you know she seems alright" and this MOFO just said that I probably only was with him because I couldn't be alone after what happened with him (mind you I hadn't had a boyfriend in five years until I got with him) and that he "honestly felt bad for the guy" and that "he didn't know what was coming, Lindsay is a nice sweet girl but she is... let's just say she's not all there, I wish her the besst and that she can find somebody that can help her sort through her issues". Apparently, also the fact that I 'have a new boyfriend' means I was "already on my way out of the relationship and that goes to show you how messed" I am, and poor me, he had tried, he had treated me like a queen but meh. Even my acquaintance's boyfriend thought it was awkward, even though ex was really diplomatic until questioned and said being with me wasa nightmare but he hadn't said anything while I was there (in town) because he didn't want to make me look bad and "it was really important to Lindsay what everybody thought of her". Whaaaat..... Theeeee.... Fuuuuuuck.... I guess he gathers that from me fighting with him about he airing our dirty laundry to his friends and family. Anyway, the girl's boyfriend then said that that was nothing, that this dude practically executed a smear campaign in the weeks immediately after I left. F*ck him. Seriously. F*ucking classless f*ck. EDIT: It's the freaking condescension and pity that gets to me. The horribly patronizing attitude, as if he did me some sort of favor by putting up with me or something. Also, this was over a few minutes only so no word on who he was with, or if he was with somebody else... only that he felt 'really sorry for me' because I took the break up pretty hard and was really unstable - this came from my acquaintance's bf- yeaaah maybe I was unstable after being dumped a month after moving in together and begging for over three weeks. Maybe I lost my sh*t because of that, I'm only human. WTF. Good riddance. Edited October 31, 2013 by lindsay1990 1
Lost_Dragon Posted October 31, 2013 Posted October 31, 2013 Victims. Aren't we all? Keep moving forward. Block. Avoid. Ignore. Why let his weakness anger you? Let it build you to see through and past him.
Toddbt12y1 Posted October 31, 2013 Posted October 31, 2013 Make every effort to avoid any information from him, from any source. This will let you down, and destroy both hope abd ego, whicb you are trying to rebuild. Exes in these cases talk. Just gotta ignore them. He calls you crazy - good for him. You know what has happened; whether or not you are crazy or not. You shouldn't let him get to you(I understand that you do), instead. Live well. Investigate yourself. Find ways to improve yourself. Relinquish the past: No good comes from it(trust me). He sounds like a poor loser. Don't let him bring you down to his level. No need for games. Just stop all sources of knowledge now. Problem will be solved and stay solved this way. Lindsay. Be the woman that you know that you are. Pretty and strong: all he has is words, and if you refuse to hear them, won't phase you. 1
JoelBarish Posted October 31, 2013 Posted October 31, 2013 I agree with Todd, tell everyone you know not to mention him to you even if they see him in passing. Any contact or information related to your ex can cause a setback. I don't think you are crazy or anything like that Lindsay. Your ex is only one person. It's easy to believe that the whole world thinks the way your ex does but that's not true.
Mariposa10 Posted October 31, 2013 Posted October 31, 2013 Try to avoid this kind of information.... I also strongly believe how what someone says changes the more it's repeated by different mouths. I'm not saying he didn't say this stuff, but you rarely get what someone really said from another person, hope I made sense!!
Author lindsay1990 Posted October 31, 2013 Author Posted October 31, 2013 (edited) Thanks you guys. I really didn't ask for it and apparently it took place only a few weeks after I left so I don't really know or care if he's talking about me. It's unlikely he is still talking about it, I think he only did it initially to save face as he was emotionally very much over me by the time I left (he even wished me the best 10 days after I moved out). In any case, i'm not surprised about it because he would call me irrational and crazy and stuff so... I know he thinks that. I just find it disgraceful that he has always shown such little consideration and such a lack of decency in having no problems embarrassing me while throwing me under the bus. I mean it when I say that I'm not even angry any more (and haven't been for a long time, if I ever was, I think i was more hurt and sad) but I reeeeally regret getting involved with that guy. It was the worst decision, worst judgement and worst experience in my life. I wish I could say I learned from it at least but not really, because I feel that the things I learned are things people could (and should) probably go without learning in their lifetime. I'm just glad this happened far away in another country and hopefully none of my circle that still live in that town (people from my own country) will end up hearing about this, as it will only add to the humiliation. And thank you Joel. Edited October 31, 2013 by lindsay1990 added "apparently" 1
Sugarkane Posted October 31, 2013 Posted October 31, 2013 This reminds me of a nasty situation I was in once too. I would've told the other person to mind heir business. Don't they have anything better to do?!
Author lindsay1990 Posted October 31, 2013 Author Posted October 31, 2013 Oh, I mean she didn't say it as a bad thing. She was even surprised we had broken up at all, I figure she told me to give me a heads up but like I said, I'm not surprised he expressed himself like that of me. He had already been doing it before I moved out, albeit to his family. Classless, ungrateful ffff. Couldn't just let it be, let it finish but had to spill details and blame/victimize. Ugh.
toolforgrowth Posted October 31, 2013 Posted October 31, 2013 Don't say or do anything in response to this. I'm getting a feeling that he is saying this, knowing it'll get back to you, in the hopes of illiciting some kind reaction from you. Don't give him that satisfaction. Dead silence from you will be much worse than righteous anger. 1
Author lindsay1990 Posted October 31, 2013 Author Posted October 31, 2013 Thanks. Yeah, I have ZERO contact with the guy. Literally on different continents, no friends in common, no social networks nothing. He said this a couple of months ago but I just heard about it, this was say a couple of weeks after we broke up... and now it's been three months. I doubt he thought it would get back to me though, he didn't even know I would speak to this girl and she wrote (and we google chatted) for something professional in particular.
AriesGirl803 Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 So, I've been moving on pretty well it seems. I'm not constantly thinking about my ex which is good. However, all I can think tonight is: I know he's gonna go out to the bars and be chatting it up with women in revealing costumes. Ugh something about the idea of him getting with someone else really seems to bother me more than anything. I guess I subconsciously see it as a slap in the face, like "yeah, you weren't good enough" and this person is. Idk why it bugs me so. That's pretty much it. I guess I'm thinking on it tonight because he had planned a couples contume idea for us...
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