Author ozziegal8 Posted November 8, 2013 Author Posted November 8, 2013 im glad i rang and gave him a serve. he must of been thinking about it last night he sent me a message at midnight. he said thanks for calling me i cant make myself to be someone thats unlike other guys. i do like you i am just too selfish with my commitment to work and i couldnt give you and i what we needed. its crap i upset you i only wanted to let you know that my head was within my career.
Leigh 87 Posted November 8, 2013 Posted November 8, 2013 Just remember, if he met the right women, his reasoning would not be valid. The good news is; you will probably meet the right guy one day, who is so into you, that he would not let his life commitments get in the way. 2
Author ozziegal8 Posted November 8, 2013 Author Posted November 8, 2013 he sent a few texts he wants to catchup as friends?
tlegend Posted November 9, 2013 Posted November 9, 2013 he sent a few texts he wants to catchup as friends? What? You just got a text from someone named "DO NOT TALK TO" on your phone today? Weird...might be a bug or something. I suggest you ignore it. 3
Author ozziegal8 Posted November 12, 2013 Author Posted November 12, 2013 hmmm he has been texting me every day now since last friday. asked me to catch up on sunday. i said no. last night going on and on about work and how he sacrificed me for his job.
Author ozziegal8 Posted November 18, 2013 Author Posted November 18, 2013 im so confused the guy has been contacting me a lot and then just stops one minute being nice then being all vague. is he playing games? y?
mortensorchid Posted November 18, 2013 Posted November 18, 2013 I'm sorry to hear this. The best thing to do is to move on now while the getting is still good. I had a friend T who had a girlfriend F. She pulsed something similar on him when she started a new job and said something like she wanted to be single when or while she started this new job. I'd never heard of something like this before. Then a few weeks later she came back and said "Oh wait, I made a mistake." They held on for a few more weeks and then he ended it. I suppose there were other things going on in the relationship other than that, but once you start that it's all downhill.
MissyM007 Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 It seems you did move very quickly but I don't think that's the issue here. He's not settled in his career and he is panicking. This is a huge area of a mans life and he is building a business. I am too and believe me it takes every inch of your being. He won't be able to give to any relationship till he gets his life together how can he be a provider till his business is totally off the ground. He can't. You could go back and discuss taking it slow and supporting and being there for him see if that works? But kids won't be for a while x
Author ozziegal8 Posted November 19, 2013 Author Posted November 19, 2013 we discussed this on saturday he agreed he would try it, saw him sunday haven't heard from him since its now tuesday?
dreamingoftigers Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 we discussed this on saturday he agreed he would try it, saw him sunday haven't heard from him since its now tuesday? ARG Ozzie Gal. We've been doing this for at least a couple of years now. You get together with a guy, just about ANY guy. It's always super-fast. They treat you crappy. Then they feel bad, dump you and you basically say "please some back and treat me crappy." And some do for a bit and it fizzles. And most don't. Quit showing your hand within the first MONTH at least. And quit going to her with these guys before you know their last names. ARG. Let THEM show YOU how much they are interested. Guys value what they have to WORK FOR. 4
Leigh 87 Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 Look ozzie girl. I have been a witness to true love. To fall in love, GENUINELY fall head over heals, a guy WOULD NOT walk away from the real deal. Guys do not treat a girl the way this guy has treated you when he is head over heals in love. YOU are too weak and obviously NOT aware of the truth of the matter; these guys are never into you, yet you run after them like a lost puppy. You DO NOT let go of these guys that do not reciprcate your feelings towards them, and you hang on for dear life. Listen to us; listen to people who can see your situations for what they really are. Even if I was studying and working full time AND had virtually NO time for a partner... I would MAKE TIME for a person who I fell for hard! Building his career and business WOULD NOT STOP HIM from treating a girl like a princess and making SURE they remained together, IF he felt strongly enough about her. The right guy would NOT let you go due to his career! We have told you so. He doesn't truly cherrish you. Don't be surprised when he doesn't do nice things for you, when he doesn't make time once every week to spend a few hours with you and when his excuses come rolling in. And LOL. RIght. He has not texted you since he agreed to try to take things slowly with you. Geez, hmm, I wonder why he hasn't wanted to spend 2 minutes of his day texting you goodnight once day. Maybe it's because HE JUST DOESNT have you on his mind often enough? WHY are you surprised that he has opted not to text you for days at a time? ALL HIS BEVAVOUR up until this point has SHOWN that he is never going to be the type of guy who will want to call or text you daily. He doesn't care enough about you. 3
Leigh 87 Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 Ozzie girl, also, you did NOTHING wrong to make him want to break up with you. ...I got angry with my recent ex for not texting me for four hours, when his mum was in HOSPITAL:lmao: (which I was aware of) And he STILL Forgave me! He never normally would stand for that, but we really had something instant and he felt I was worth giving a big chance. The current guy who is head over heals in love with me (and who sadly, I do not love back), has tolerated me telling him that I WILL NEVER feel that way about him, that I will indeed date other guys seriously who I feel THAT WAY about, among oter hurtful things I said. Look, your guy would happily walk away from you if you were to tell him that you didn't want to be with him; every girl wants a guy who WILL NOT readily just give on them. My ex was a JERK yet he wanted to keep seeing me when we met, in spite of the fact I had a bad eating disorder and, back then, I was completely socially inept. He thought I was the weirdest girl he had met nd wanted to run the other way, yet he couldnt because he felt compelled to see me. If a guy wants to be with you he will. He will not be forced, and if he agrees upon YOUR convincing him, it is NOT genuine. 1
Leigh 87 Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 It seems you did move very quickly but I don't think that's the issue here. He's not settled in his career and he is panicking. This is a huge area of a mans life and he is building a business. I am too and believe me it takes every inch of your being. He won't be able to give to any relationship till he gets his life together how can he be a provider till his business is totally off the ground. He can't. You could go back and discuss taking it slow and supporting and being there for him see if that works? But kids won't be for a while x You don't get it. When a man is NUTS about a girl, they do not break off the relationship unless the girl does something really bad, such as cheating. Hardcore, real romantic love is too powerful to let ANY job come inbetween them. He could spare 5 mins a day to call her once per day. FIVE minutes of his time per day. He could spend TWO MINS a day texting her goodight, sayig he misses her and wishes her a wonderful day, and cannot wait to see her on the weekend. He could spare a few hours ONE DAY A WEEK for a dinner and cuddles/DVD with her. 3
Author ozziegal8 Posted November 19, 2013 Author Posted November 19, 2013 why did you say i dont get it? i didnt write that message you replied too?
dreamingoftigers Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 why did you say i dont get it? i didnt write that message you replied too? Ozziegal. I really feel for you. There's an really ingrained pattern in your relationships and I don't think you are going to find a guy until you break it.
Author ozziegal8 Posted November 19, 2013 Author Posted November 19, 2013 have you found one dreaming of tigers?
dreamingoftigers Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 have you found one dreaming of tigers? Yes. I've been married for seven years. Despite the issues we've had, things are solid and we've been able to walk through our historical and emotional issues together and continue to do so. Prior to my husband I had two other LTR relationships, one if which was an engagement. I was actually engaged before as well, but honestly that was more kid stuff. I've been asked by a guy to marry me (I think, off of the top of my head) nine times in my life. Three of those were my husband. I turned him down the first two times.
Author ozziegal8 Posted November 19, 2013 Author Posted November 19, 2013 thats great, obviously not single for long, most of mates are the same as me and have met great partners there are just a lot aholes out there. not me.
Eternal Sunshine Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 I personally don't beleive in commitment phobia, not being ready or any other obstabcles. That guy that didn't want to commit to you? I bet if he met Mila Kunis he would be proposing within a week. It all comes down to "he is just not that into you". If you are smart, you will be looking for what you need elsewhere. 5
Author ozziegal8 Posted November 19, 2013 Author Posted November 19, 2013 thank eternal sunshine that does lots for my confidence how old are you?
Eternal Sunshine Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 thank eternal sunshine that does lots for my confidence how old are you? Early 30s. Sorry I'm just being blunt. False hope is not doing anyone any good. I'm just trying to tell you not to waste time on this one. 3
Author ozziegal8 Posted November 19, 2013 Author Posted November 19, 2013 thats ok but i think its a lack of immaturity he is 10 yrs younger than me
myothernic2 Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 thats ok but i think its a lack of immaturity he is 10 yrs younger than me What ES is saying is not lack of maturity. She's right and if you will maybe consider that you will save yourself a lot of heart ache. 3
Leigh 87 Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 If he met a women he liked enough he would be with her. Simple as that. There is no such thing as committment phobie or being too busy. If a guy meets a girl who blows his mind, gets his heart racing and who he is nuts about, he will drop everything to be with her. This guy is only WITH you because YOU CONVINVED HIM. You actually had to convince him to be with you. If you had not pleaded with him to change his mind, he would not have wanted you back, unless he was bored and horny and wanted casual fun. Can't you see? This isn't a relationship. This is you having to ASK a guy to PLEASE give you another chance, even though you did not do anything wrong to make him dump u. Can you not see how low your self esteem obviously is? 1
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