nfnnfn Posted October 31, 2013 Posted October 31, 2013 Hello everybody, I appreciate all of you for reading and answering. I found a girl in eharmony (she's in Casablanca) and I had a strong click with her from the beginning. She gave me her contact info without my asking, which was a good sign, and I felt she has the same feeling. We had a one-hour talk on the phone in the first day and then we both got busy and just were in touch via chat/text/fb for the next two weeks until today. So it's just two weeks we knew each other. However, I gradually started talking very romantically and complementing right after our first and only talk in the first day. We like each other a lot; she always says she misses me, and that I am the best person for her and stuff like that. (I really want to start learning French and Arabic because of her) So, I’ve told her everything except I love you I know you guys think I am maybe too fast but it just happened and the click was too strong. She, however, seems to be very busy since 3 days ago and I don't know if it was because of my too much forwardness or she just has changed her mind. I feel desperate a little bit, I can feel that, but I want to give her whatever I have So she is not responding as before during these 3 days but she just said tonight after 3 days that she's missed me again. I am confused of all girls on the earth. Do I need to be patient? Or what? Help please. I keep you guys posted in this thread here. I want to share my experiences. Thanks.
nomadic_butterfly Posted October 31, 2013 Posted October 31, 2013 (edited) Hello everybody, I appreciate all of you for reading and answering. I found a girl in eharmony (she's in Casablanca) and I had a strong click with her from the beginning. She gave me her contact info without my asking, which was a good sign, and I felt she has the same feeling. We had a one-hour talk on the phone in the first day and then we both got busy and just were in touch via chat/text/fb for the next two weeks until today. So it's just two weeks we knew each other. However, I gradually started talking very romantically and complementing right after our first and only talk in the first day. We like each other a lot; she always says she misses me, and that I am the best person for her and stuff like that. (I really want to start learning French and Arabic because of her) So, I’ve told her everything except I love you I know you guys think I am maybe too fast but it just happened and the click was too strong. She, however, seems to be very busy since 3 days ago and I don't know if it was because of my too much forwardness or she just has changed her mind. I feel desperate a little bit, I can feel that, but I want to give her whatever I have So she is not responding as before during these 3 days but she just said tonight after 3 days that she's missed me again. I am confused of all girls on the earth. Do I need to be patient? Or what? Help please. I keep you guys posted in this thread here. I want to share my experiences. Thanks. Take it as a fun experience and look into local girls the way she is probably looking into local men. Africa and America are FFFAAARRRRRR FFFAAARRRR away and yes people can and do fall inlove under these circumstances but they are the exception rather than the rule. Maybe she doesn't take it seriously? (understandably) If a guy didn't already have feasible plans to move to the US BEFORE meeting me online I would not entertain the situation, but everyone is different. You need to slow down and be rational. Give a perfect STRANGER all you have? You've got to be kidding me. You are the best person for her but you have not met in real life? But she is ignoring you? But you have no solid plans to move there or vice versa? It is best for your mental and emotional health to be more reasonable and less emotional. If she starts talking to you again consistently, maybe plan a trip to see her AND THEN determine if this is all true. Most people on online dating websites talk to multiple people at one time so it is easy to get dropped along the way unless there is realistic potential usually confirmed upon physically meeting someone. Edited October 31, 2013 by nomadic_butterfly 2
Author nfnnfn Posted October 31, 2013 Author Posted October 31, 2013 Take it as a fun experience and look into local girls the way she is probably looking into local men. Africa and America are FFFAAARRRRRR FFFAAARRRR away and yes people can and do fall inlove under these circumstances but they are the exception rather than the rule. Maybe she doesn't take it seriously? (understandably) If a guy didn't already have feasible plans to move to the US BEFORE meeting me online I would not entertain the situation, but everyone is different. You need to slow down and be rational. Give a perfect STRANGER all you have? You've got to be kidding me. You are the best person for her but you have not met in real life? But she is ignoring you? But you have no solid plans to move there or vice versa? It is best for your mental and emotional health to be more reasonable and less emotional. If she starts talking to you again consistently, maybe plan a trip to see her AND THEN determine if this is all true. Most people on online dating websites talk to multiple people at one time so it is easy to get dropped along the way unless there is realistic potential usually confirmed upon physically meeting someone. Hello, thanks for your reply. I really appreciate it. I actually forgot to say that she's coming to the US in 2 months (not to my state but I am fine to visit her once in a while when she arrives and if everything goes well between us) to continue her education. So that's why I actually started to develop it or go ahead. I see what you mean... however, for example, again today morning she again sent me heart and told again she has missed me. She, however, does not respond to my questions like when I say, we should talk soon, when should we talk?, or why did you get busy (she has a job though), or when it's too late in her time zone and I'm sure she's not at work I try to ask to call her but she says I miss you and stuff and she says I am trying to sleep, I call you tomorrow. Again tomorrow the same. I mean she sounds to be busy; why she's sending me heart telling me how much she misses me but not answering my other questions is confusing. I am confused. Don't you think I should stop contacting/texting her for a while to see what's going on? Thanks again.
Assasda Posted October 31, 2013 Posted October 31, 2013 Its because you were too forward. as easy as that 1
ExpatInItaly Posted October 31, 2013 Posted October 31, 2013 It's too much too soon. She's backing away from it. Ease up a bit and let her develop an interest 2
nomadic_butterfly Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 (edited) Hello, thanks for your reply. I really appreciate it. I actually forgot to say that she's coming to the US in 2 months (not to my state but I am fine to visit her once in a while when she arrives and if everything goes well between us) to continue her education. So that's why I actually started to develop it or go ahead. I see what you mean... however, for example, again today morning she again sent me heart and told again she has missed me. She, however, does not respond to my questions like when I say, we should talk soon, when should we talk?, or why did you get busy (she has a job though), or when it's too late in her time zone and I'm sure she's not at work I try to ask to call her but she says I miss you and stuff and she says I am trying to sleep, I call you tomorrow. Again tomorrow the same. I mean she sounds to be busy; why she's sending me heart telling me how much she misses me but not answering my other questions is confusing. I am confused. Don't you think I should stop contacting/texting her for a while to see what's going on? Thanks again. I agree with the others that you must have your dignity and not hassle her. Take it a bit slower and don't put your eggs all in one basket. She might be looking into other people it is still very early. Do what is known as mirroring; contact her as often as she contacts you. You are pressuring her too much and it might push her away. You should also see if she NATURALLY wants to talk on the phone, Skype, etc. It should not be one sided if there is a mutual interest but you have to be patient and give her a chance to show that she is into you too. I would feel awful if I felt like I was forcing a man to talk to me. She will not respect you if you are fawning over her and she barely knows you and never even met you. If she misses you, let her show it IN ACTIONS not just words. If she misses you so much she never initiates calls, Skype, etc. I would not believe it. No matter how busy you are, you make time for what you want. For example, in college I had two boyfriends. The first one treated me like crap and I always gave excuses to not hang out with him that much. At that time I worked about 30hrs a week and school full time. The next boyfriend treated me well and despite working for the same 30hrs, plus going to TWO SCHOOLS; one full time, the other part time I still saw him every weekend and slept over some time for a week. We prioritize. You two also might have two different communication styles. If she really thinks you are special and vice versa, you will COMPROMISE to suit the other person. She might contact you more, and you contact her less but come to an agreement. Once again, someone would have to be super duper special for me to do all that if we just met, online at that and never in person. Edited November 1, 2013 by nomadic_butterfly 1
Author nfnnfn Posted November 1, 2013 Author Posted November 1, 2013 Its because you were too forward. as easy as that First, thanks a lot for your time and reply. I agree, I was like that as you said... Right after I returned from my trip (after 3 days not contacting her) she messaged me and said "I will call you everyday from tomorrow; I like you very much and I miss you a lot...". I was probably faster though. :/
Author nfnnfn Posted November 1, 2013 Author Posted November 1, 2013 It's too much too soon. She's backing away from it. Ease up a bit and let her develop an interest Thanks for your kind reply. I agree with all of you guys. I also forgot to say that she still hits like for my facebook pictures while at the same time she doesn't want to talk to me on the phone for whatever reason; I think she wants to keep me too if she is talking to others too! if any. I mean I hope she develops back to where she was as I replied in exactly previous post. I have stopped contacting her until she comes back herself.
Author nfnnfn Posted November 1, 2013 Author Posted November 1, 2013 I agree with the others that you must have your dignity and not hassle her. Take it a bit slower and don't put your eggs all in one basket. She might be looking into other people it is still very early. Do what is known as mirroring; contact her as often as she contacts you. You are pressuring her too much and it might push her away. You should also see if she NATURALLY wants to talk on the phone, Skype, etc. It should not be one sided if there is a mutual interest but you have to be patient and give her a chance to show that she is into you too. I would feel awful if I felt like I was forcing a man to talk to me. She will not respect you if you are fawning over her and she barely knows you and never even met you. If she misses you, let her show it IN ACTIONS not just words. If she misses you so much she never initiates calls, Skype, etc. I would not believe it. No matter how busy you are, you make time for what you want. For example, in college I had two boyfriends. The first one treated me like crap and I always gave excuses to not hang out with him that much. At that time I worked about 30hrs a week and school full time. The next boyfriend treated me well and despite working for the same 30hrs, plus going to TWO SCHOOLS; one full time, the other part time I still saw him every weekend and slept over some time for a week. We prioritize. You two also might have two different communication styles. If she really thinks you are special and vice versa, you will COMPROMISE to suit the other person. She might contact you more, and you contact her less but come to an agreement. Once again, someone would have to be super duper special for me to do all that if we just met, online at that and never in person. Thanks again, you are 100% right and I made a bad mistake; although I used mirroring technique in my own opinion, I mirrored more than her capacity. I also especially want to make a golden frame around your great advice "If she misses you, let her show it IN ACTIONS not just words. If she misses you so much, then she never initiates calls, Skype, etc.?? I would not believe it. No matter how busy you are, you make time for what you want." I am now stopping my communication with her and I will even slow it down after she shows her interests in action and comes back and initiates a call. I never do that again. I will keep you guys posted. Please let me know if you have any other ideas to share with me. I am really learning a lot and I appreciate all of it.
Author nfnnfn Posted November 1, 2013 Author Posted November 1, 2013 its cool. would you like to be a backup? Nooo, I don't want to be a backup boyfriend. That's why I decided to stop saying even a word until she contacts me (and I am not waiting for her) to explain. To me she is a very insecure girl now if she's talking this way to more than a guy at the same time.
Author nfnnfn Posted November 3, 2013 Author Posted November 3, 2013 Shes doing normals stuff really Honestly, if she says "for me you are the best in the whole universe, I swear." and "you are the best sweetest guy I have ever seen, I am so lucky I found you" and then she disappears, this is normal!?
nomadic_butterfly Posted November 4, 2013 Posted November 4, 2013 Honestly, if she says "for me you are the best in the whole universe, I swear." and "you are the best sweetest guy I have ever seen, I am so lucky I found you" and then she disappears, this is normal!? I already told you, ACTIONS, not WORDS!! Words are cheap! Thought without actions are like a car without petrol; pointless and going nowhere!! You apparently want to keep wasting your time and not take good advice so there isn't much else to say to you. Clearly you have time for games so play on brother!
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