Dumped85 Posted October 31, 2013 Posted October 31, 2013 I think I realize the msin reason she lost connection, I think because I was to much of a gentle man in the bedroom. We were nt very frequently doing things in the last 3 months only once a month. Im so shamed by it even after 4 months of her leaving. I was so atracted to her aswell, definitely no performance problem. Just a fear of losing her if I made it the only thing on my mind, funny how things turn out tho. Im so stupid, I failed her as a partner.
Fufu Posted October 31, 2013 Posted October 31, 2013 I think I realize the msin reason she lost connection, I think because I was to much of a gentle man in the bedroom. We were nt very frequently doing things in the last 3 months only once a month. Im so shamed by it even after 4 months of her leaving. I was so atracted to her aswell, definitely no performance problem. Just a fear of losing her if I made it the only thing on my mind, funny how things turn out tho. Im so stupid, I failed her as a partner. I don't quite get what you mean by too much of a gentle man in the bedroom? So this girl breaks up with you because she doesn't enjoy sex with you?
AShogunNamedMarcus Posted October 31, 2013 Posted October 31, 2013 I think I realize the msin reason she lost connection, I think because I was to much of a gentle man in the bedroom. We were nt very frequently doing things in the last 3 months only once a month. Im so shamed by it even after 4 months of her leaving. I was so atracted to her aswell, definitely no performance problem. Just a fear of losing her if I made it the only thing on my mind, funny how things turn out tho. Im so stupid, I failed her as a partner. Chalk it up as a learning experience. You need to throw down in the bedroom man. Become an animal and make it passionate. And don't spend 2 hours focusing on her pleasure. It's much hotter if you know how to please them and focus on your own pleasure. It's a vibe and they will get it. Climax together and then lay there panting.
lindsay1990 Posted October 31, 2013 Posted October 31, 2013 (edited) What do you mean you failed her as a partner? In any case, it takes two to tango. If sex wasn't better, it was both your faults if it had to be anyone's. Otherwise, could just be incompatibility. If you don't mind my asking, how long were you together? You shouldn't beat yourself up for maybe not pulling out all the stops if it was a shorter relationship, maybe you are the kind of person who requires more intimacy to connect more and give it your all, you know? Edited October 31, 2013 by lindsay1990 A word.
AnyaNova Posted October 31, 2013 Posted October 31, 2013 What do you mean you failed her as a partner? In any case, it takes two to tango. If sex wasn't better, it was both your faults if it had to be anyone's. Otherwise, could just be incompatibility. If you don't mind my asking, how long were you together? You shouldn't beat yourself up for maybe not pulling out all the stops if it was a shorter relationship, maybe you are the kind of person who requires more intimacy to connect more and give it your all, you know? Agreed, and furthermore, if she wasn't happy in the bedroom and that is the reason she broke up with you, what an actual adult does, is before breaking up, sit you down and explain that they are not happy with the sex life and wish it could be better, etc. Instead of just pulling the plug. 2
chinacat sunflower Posted October 31, 2013 Posted October 31, 2013 In my humble opinion, sex is very important. But if the sex isn't there and I was still really into that person, I wouldn't leave them for that reason. It's something that can be worked on. Everyone is different in the bedroom, it's just a matter of getting familiar with that person. If she left you because she thought the sex was crap....eff that noise. Pish posh you don't need her in your life.
AnnaAnna Posted October 31, 2013 Posted October 31, 2013 I think I realize the msin reason she lost connection, I think because I was to much of a gentle man in the bedroom. We were nt very frequently doing things in the last 3 months only once a month. Im so shamed by it even after 4 months of her leaving. I was so atracted to her aswell, definitely no performance problem. Just a fear of losing her if I made it the only thing on my mind, funny how things turn out tho. Im so stupid, I failed her as a partner. That is a very odd realization and it could be a reason why she left you but right now you are looking for any reason to blame yourself. Don't be so hard on yourself. Sometimes people just leave. 1
Author Dumped85 Posted November 1, 2013 Author Posted November 1, 2013 Sucks at my age aswell that she was my first GF. We were both 27 she was the more experienced one. Communication was poor with us as it was, Looking back I wish we had discussed the important things, I feel like a loser. While shes moved on, im stewing and have doubt ill find another . Doesn't help that I have depression aswell.
lindsay1990 Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 (edited) I'm glad you answered. My ex was 26 when I met him (turned 27 together) and was a virgin. I NEVER minded this at all, never thought it was weird or ANYTHING at all. Sexually what would I complain about? Honestly, that we didn't have enough. Otherwise? I did not mind at all 'getting him started' or being 'patient' and everything. He had a great attitude and in a year I would say we had a GREAT sex life, except that for me, we would have been doing it more (quantity). EDIT: And just for measure, I had lost my virginity at 14 and had been sexually active/romantically involved pretty consistently (and without issue) since then, and got together with my ex and took his virginity at 24. So I had TEN WHOLE YEARS of experience on him and I never felt a imbalance. We were in it together, sex-wise, as far as I was concerned. In your case as well as mine, I would dare to say the lack of sex was a symptom or a consequence of the loss of connection or decline in intimacy. It still seems like a crap reason to break up, there were probably reasons behind the lack of intimacy as well on her part. Edited November 1, 2013 by lindsay1990
Author Dumped85 Posted November 15, 2013 Author Posted November 15, 2013 (edited) I'm glad you answered. My ex was 26 when I met him (turned 27 together) and was a virgin. I NEVER minded this at all, never thought it was weird or ANYTHING at all. Sexually what would I complain about? Honestly, that we didn't have enough. Otherwise? I did not mind at all 'getting him started' or being 'patient' and everything. He had a great attitude and in a year I would say we had a GREAT sex life, except that for me, we would have been doing it more (quantity). EDIT: And just for measure, I had lost my virginity at 14 and had been sexually active/romantically involved pretty consistently (and without issue) since then, and got together with my ex and took his virginity at 24. So I had TEN WHOLE YEARS of experience on him and I never felt a imbalance. We were in it together, sex-wise, as far as I was concerned. In your case as well as mine, I would dare to say the lack of sex was a symptom or a consequence of the loss of connection or decline in intimacy. It still seems like a crap reason to break up, there were probably reasons behind the lack of intimacy as well on her part. I remember her telling me one day in april afterwoods saying shed like it to come a lot more naturally. I guess with more intimacy before hand. I think that's when she just relied on me to do all that initiation. I feel like a fool, and if id just listened all would've been ok.I hate my life right now, I had a beautiful and willing partner and I stuffed up. Edited November 15, 2013 by Dumped85
lindsay1990 Posted November 15, 2013 Posted November 15, 2013 I remember her telling me one day in april afterwoods saying shed like it to come a lot more naturally. I guess with more intimacy before hand. I think that's when she just relied on me to do all that initiation. I feel like a fool, and if id just listened all would've been ok.I hate my life right now, I had a beautiful and willing partner and I stuffed up. Nope, don't blame yourself. Really, like I said, if she felt it wasn't coming naturally enough it's likely that it felt forced for other emotional reasons and perhaps at that point neither of you had the self-awareness/the will to get to the bottom of it at the time.
Author Dumped85 Posted November 15, 2013 Author Posted November 15, 2013 Nope, don't blame yourself. Really, like I said, if she felt it wasn't coming naturally enough it's likely that it felt forced for other emotional reasons and perhaps at that point neither of you had the self-awareness/the will to get to the bottom of it at the time. it sucks because I really cared, I guess she felt insecure over a period of time. I was a **** partner. Being the man I should've had more control.
me85 Posted November 15, 2013 Posted November 15, 2013 Because we were both dumped & were both born in the same year, I feel the need to reach out & hug you! You will survive! You're gonna make it! Sex is not the most important part. Stop beating yourself up. She failed YOU. She gave up without really trying. It's selfish. They'll never be truly happy that way. You should be happy just knowing that you at least tried & would've put more of an effort into her if she'd only let you. I'm having one of those "I don't give a flying F why my ex doesn't want me" kind of days. You'll start having them too, I promise. & you'll enjoy every minuet of them!! Your ex is NOT the last person you're ever going to love.
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