Gypsie Posted October 31, 2013 Posted October 31, 2013 There is this friend I have who seems to be embarrassed by me. I don't understand why she gets that way with me. Everyone else I hang out with has no problem with me at all. I feel critisized by her as well at times and feel like I can't be myself. Every time I try make things light hearted and muck around a little bit she cuts me off and tells me I am being stupid. Other examples of her comments… I took her to Zumba one time. She was terrible and then was like "oh we found something you are better then me at." She noticed I did not go to the Gym for a few weeks. Then when she saw that I did not go one night sent me a text along the line of 'why is fatty boom sticks not at the Gym tonight?' I ignored her cause I know I am not overly over weight but still thought that was a pretty mean comment! There is this guy I have a massive crush on who we both know who is a few years older then us. He was single. She accuses me of practically throwing myself at him when all I did was just joke around and talk to him every now and then. The last couple of times I saw him I barely said a word to him ? Did enjoy the compliments he gave me though. My crush hosted the Trivia we went to. She ended up telling me to make my own table cause she did not like how I was more sociable on there. She was the one who said I could invite whoever I wanted (I only invited one or 2 others) and then backtracked when we would not behave how she wanted us to behave so we pretty much got kicked out when we were not even that bad. Apparently we were not participating enough as well. The questions were pretty outdated. We answered as much as we could it was not like we did not answer anything at all. I also got told that the questions that I answered that everyone knew did not count. Another lady on the table knew the answers to some music questions I knew does that mean her answers were not counted? One week she was not going to be there and I was saying I will befriend the young boy on our table. She replied back with "oh you would not have the intelligence level to hang out with him." Another time I was handing out Milky Ways (chocolate bars in Australia) to everyone that the Trivia host gave out that we had won. I did not know how many there was so I was a bit slow handing them out then she snapped at me grabbed them and handed them out herself and had a go at me about how hopeless I was. She suggested me sharing a room at her place. Then when it looked like I was going to actually do it she ended up telling me that she changed her mind. She would not be able to relax with me being in her place alone. I might end up destroying things in her house I was like WTF?! I have rented the last few years and every place I have rented at always gotten my bond back and never once has the place fallen apart. What are your thoughts on this so called friend? Would you continue hanging out with someone like this? I am having second thoughts about continuing the friends.
todreaminblue Posted October 31, 2013 Posted October 31, 2013 i would tell her that she knows she si hurting you if i were you which is lucky i am not .......becaue i woudl just stand up and say hey enough now......why do you talk to me like this ....why do you feel that i am going to let you treat me like this....another part of me says something similar put a different way which i s......i am sorry you feel you can treat me this way..someone told me that gem....wise man......another part of me says put the milky ways in her hair... say nice knowing you ...exit stage left i would suggest you follow your heart and say what you need to say...that's a lyric from a song ill post.....my heart is conflicted just a tad on how to help ill talk to the team and get back to you...say what you feel in your heart..and imagine the milky way in the hair scenario.....give a peace sign as you walk out the door......dramatic exits are always memorable hugs good luck....deb
SpiralOut Posted October 31, 2013 Posted October 31, 2013 She clearly has a problem with you and she's not being very mature about it. She is nitpicking at you and singling you out. She needs to feel like she is better than you. I would not put up with it anymore. Talk to her if you think the friendship is worth fixing. Otherwise, walk away.
Author Gypsie Posted October 31, 2013 Author Posted October 31, 2013 (edited) Yes! That is what it feels like with her. Nitpicking is the perfect description of what she does. It is getting on my last nerve. Especially with what happened at the Trivia thing. I usually have dinner at her place weekly. The last few weeks I was there, most of the time, that is what she did. Just nitpicked me and kicked me off her Trivia team. Cause I was not behaving how she wanted me to. I have not been to dinner since. Just been making excuses not to go. I do feel bad about it but I just am over being disapproved of. She just seems really embarrassed by me. What baffles me is why she would even want to hang out with me if she does not like the way I act when I hang out with her. When two of my other friends went to this Trivia thing we were at. They felt looked down on. Still feel a bit insulted that this friend would think I would throw myself at that Trivia host. When I mentioned this to my other friend she even reminded me that when I do like someone I don't make it that obvious. I was like, I know! All I did was joke around and talk to him, even if I did flirt with him a little we were both single. He even started it by calling me gorgeous and beautiful and coming up and talking to me the first few weeks I went there. My friend never saw that and just assumed I was the one who started it cause I was talking and joking around with him. It was just a good ego boost for he and I, nothing ever actually did happen between us. . Loved the attention though and I bet he did to. I am lucky enough to have other friends. None of them act this way with me at all. I mentioned this to her and her reply was "they don't know you as well as I do." I was floored hearing that. A few of those girls had known me for over 10 years. One since primary school as well as her. Shakes head. Edited October 31, 2013 by Gypsie
SpiralOut Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 and her reply was "they don't know you as well as I do." Has she always acted this way with you? Maybe she is mad at you about something that you don't know about. It might even be something that's not your fault but she's mad anyway (I've had someone get mad at me for being friends with someone). Sometimes others like us enough to be around us, but are so angry about something they can't hold it in. I'm wondering if she's just waiting for you to ask her what's wrong so she can go ahead and explode. Or maybe she's too embarrassed to admit it. Could be a jealousy thing. Whatever it is, she doesn't sound like a very happy person.
whichwayisup Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 This so called friend is jealous of you or something. Either way, it doesn't matter as she's rude and purposely being bitchy and passive. Stop hanging out with her. Distance yourself from her and when she calls to get together, say "I'm busy"...eventually she'll either stop asking or ask you directly what is up. If she asks, tell her how she's been treating you and that you're sick of it and would rather not spend time with someone who is not acting like a friend.
Author Gypsie Posted November 1, 2013 Author Posted November 1, 2013 She has always pretty much been that way but when I started to hang out with her more then usual, noticed it more. Usually when she gets rude and nit picky I would just smirk and ignore her but it is starting to get on my last nerve. Especially when she started picking on my other friends. It must suck not to be happy with yourself that you would have to pick on someone to feel better about yourself. . I hate people that take out their insecurities on you. I feel like she tries to control the way I behave as well to what she perceives me to be (I was a bit awkward and quiet when I knew her back at school, not now but I bet she still sees me that way) and gets weird when I behave outside that box as well which is probably one of the reasons why she got weird on me during the Trivia thing.
SpiralOut Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 I feel like she tries to control the way I behave as well to what she perceives me to be (I was a bit awkward and quiet when I knew her back at school, not now but I bet she still sees me that way) and gets weird when I behave outside that box as well which is probably one of the reasons why she got weird on me during the Trivia thing. I have had that exact thing happen to me. Someone saw my shy, awkward side and assumed that nobody liked me and that I had no friends. Her assumption was wrong. When she saw me make people laugh and saw that others liked me she freaked out. I had to deal with her blurting out insults about me and other rude things. You aren't imagining things. She wants you to stay in your "place" so that she can continue to feel she is better than someone. It is nothing personal against you. If it weren't you, then it would be someone else. Don't share any personal information with her. Avoid her as much as you can. She's not worth it.
Author Gypsie Posted November 2, 2013 Author Posted November 2, 2013 (edited) I have had that exact thing happen to me. Someone saw my shy, awkward side and assumed that nobody liked me and that I had no friends. Her assumption was wrong. When she saw me make people laugh and saw that others liked me she freaked out. I had to deal with her blurting out insults about me and other rude things. You aren't imagining things. She wants you to stay in your "place" so that she can continue to feel she is better than someone. It is nothing personal against you. If it weren't you, then it would be someone else. Don't share any personal information with her. Avoid her as much as you can. She's not worth it. That is exactly the feeling I get when I hang out with this girl. I feel like I have to act a certain way or I get snapped at or refrain myself from being silly or I am considered dumb. It feels so weird to me that I can't muck around and be silly when I hang out with her. Just go on about my business quietly. She seems to be really embarrassed by me which I find really weird! No one else I hang out with thinks this way. She also thinks that everyone I hang out with are losers. When my other friend spoke about her work when the 3 of us hung out. She looked surprised that she actually had a job. Just because past friends of mine were unemployed. LoL. Ha ha when she spoke about how the I would not be the Trivia guy's type. Umm. He was flirting with me which I got the blame for of course. She has said that about other guys she hangs out with as well. She does Athletics with a couple and I joked around saying "I might have to check these guys out myself!" "oh you would not be there type." It just seems to me that she thinks the worst of me and I am getting over it. Does it seem that way when I explain it this way? It really annoys me when people are like this! Edited November 2, 2013 by Gypsie
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