bafflio Posted October 31, 2013 Posted October 31, 2013 So asked this girl out from class and for the first date we went for a coffee and had a nice chat and left it there. The thing is she texts really late: If I sent her a text on Monday if she's free this week she'd text me back on Thursday asking me if I am free right there and then. I said I had some errand to run but I'd be free in around half an hour if she's still around and we went for the coffee. A bit iffy I thought. After a week or so I asked her out for a second date to aquarium. She said yes, and she'd be free that Thursday. Wednesday night she texts she wants to work more on her essay and asks if we can reschedule. I say yeah, we can - how about next Tuesday or Wednesday? No reply. Then I see her again the next Monday in class and she texts me in class (we were sitting across because the classroom size is like 15 people and she came late and there was no empty seat beside me). The phone rings and she blushes and covers her face. The text reads: Aquarium tomorrow? After class I walk her out and I said I'm free after 4 - got a proposal due but should be done by then. She says I'll see you then. I still ask though: did you get my text last week? She says, oh, I don't remember.. oh the text about when I'm free? Well I'm free tomorrow. Still quite iffy. So we met and went to the aquarium. On our way she tells me about her dance instructor who she knew for 8 years (family friend or some sort) and had made a move on her the other day. He teaches tango. Ooooo. I asked, how do you feel about it? She says, a little mad, confused, etc. She thinks he's hot, but he's married and she also is a friend of his wife. I asked - if he were single, would you go for him? She says I'm not sure. Ifffy. Had a good time. I make some contacts here and there but just modestly (still shy about that). Then on our way home I ask her for her hand. We grab our hand and go back home. It was dark - so we lost our way and I asked 4 times to get to the subway station. She seemed a little bemused or embarrassed. I thought, wth, it's better than getting lost while we're starving and cold. We sit together on the subway. She puts her hand in her thighs. I ask, are you cold? She says yes. I say, grab my hand. Her hand was cold as ice! We stay like that till we get back to the campus. We go for dinner because she hadn't eaten anything all day - she eats only one meal a day and doesn't have a regular sleep schedule. Tells me how she thinks life is meaningless and although she doesn't think about it all the time it'd come up once a week at least. I was planning on kissing her at the end but we had eaten and I had paid for the whole thing (which she didn't want me to but her credit card was not working) so I didn't feel like it. We ended it with a hug. Redflag?
deathandtaxes Posted October 31, 2013 Posted October 31, 2013 The red flags I see involve the conversation about the dance instructor and her comments about how life is meaningless. You probably came off sounding insecure asking about the instructor. That's odd conversation for a second date. I'd be worried if a chick was talking about life being meaningless. That points to some mental issues. All that being said, you found your way to a second date. Congrats! Just play it cool. Ask for another.
Author bafflio Posted October 31, 2013 Author Posted October 31, 2013 I didn't ask her about her instructor. She brought it up and asked for my opinion! She said if she asked to other friends/people they'd probably be grossed out (feels like a bit friendzony here?) and I said, well, right or wrong is relative really. You just gotta know what you're paying and getting. But yeah her life is meaningless and bringing up the dance instructor put me off.
Lansing Posted October 31, 2013 Posted October 31, 2013 Some girls can be super flakey. You are going to have to decide if you want a girl like that or not because she will probably not respect your time/respond back quickly/etc. Sounds like she was maybe waiting for a better option to come up and since she was free/bored she decided to go out with you. Or, maybe she just doesn't really plan far ahead. Hard to say.
Author bafflio Posted October 31, 2013 Author Posted October 31, 2013 Huh.. she said she wanted to pay me back - in money - in class the next week because she felt back. I was dumbstruck. I said no - instead just buy me something when we hang out again. Kinda wanna go to halloween theme park before it closes (ends this week) but I am not sure if I want to go with her - and so soon (I just saw her this week).
ja123 Posted October 31, 2013 Posted October 31, 2013 I wouldn't bother pursuing anything, if I were you. Do you actually feel more good about/with her than bad? It doesn't sound like it. I'd take control of the situation, and if she hints at going out again, nip it in the bud and say "no". Or you can do the fade ... whenever she says she's free, say you're not. Then eventually don't respond to her texts.
TB Rhine Posted October 31, 2013 Posted October 31, 2013 Well, she's apparently more concerned about whether the guy coming onto her is 'hot' (as opposed to, you know, the fact that he's married and what have you), so that tells you something about her character, or at least her maturity level, right there. I'd say she doesn't sound like much of a keeper at this point, but for God's sake, whatever you do, don't be letting her confide in you about other guys/giving her relationship advice, etc. That's Friend Zone 101. You've hung out with her at least twice. If you haven't yet made a move, now is the time. Better to know than keep being strung along.
patrol Posted October 31, 2013 Posted October 31, 2013 Red flags everywhere. Everywhere! Girls who are actually interested in you almost always keep their promises for dates or give a counter offer and are really sorry. Friend zone her or just stop hanging out with her please.
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