longjourney Posted October 30, 2013 Posted October 30, 2013 We have been going to IC and MC. At MC today my WH spoke of the fact that he loves OW. This all came up because I asked. I told him I need to know what I am up against. He was upset almost to the verge of tears, but he was honest. He told me that he doesn't think his A was fantasy. He believes his feelings were genuine. He said he couldn't help himself, she was someone he had wanted to be with for so long. He saw nothing but her and he learned quickly how to keep me and her separate. He didn't want to hurt me, he does love me too. That little word TOO, it broke me. It was with that little word that I knew it was real to him. It wasn't just stolen moments of sex It wasn't just the forbidden lust, the excitement. He had built something with her and he was in the middle of two worlds. He said he wants to work at us. He said he will go NC. He said he thinks he can make his way back. He thinks we can be happy. He asked me for a chance. He doesn't want to break up our family or hurt me anymore. The problem is that I am STILL hurting and I don't think all of his honesty changed anything.
thompkevin Posted October 31, 2013 Posted October 31, 2013 Well, you said in your other post that you can make it work if you want to. Since you are going for MC, I assumed you decided to make it work. According to your other post, this OW was very important to him and he always wanted to be with him. And if you decide to work with it, you will have to find a way to deal with that. You will have to learn to let go of the fact that he loved her. I know it's hard, but if you are really committed to making it work, you will have to let go of it. Of course, you can't do it with a push of a button as it will take a lot of time. But if you think the marriage is worth it, then I wish you the best.
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