miafarrow Posted October 30, 2013 Posted October 30, 2013 I've been dating this guy in highschool, then I just went away without a trace one day. I didn't want a serious relationship when I was 17 years old, he did, so I told him the situation and that was all. For a year later he was trying to make a contact, I ignored him! Untill couple of days ago (13 years later). I was on facebook and I just sent him a request. I heard that he had some near death experience, because we share our best friends. He texted me and asked me out, I was lost at first, then I said yes, we went on a date. Once again I had to make the first move, I've seen he was into me and I kissed him, I never felt so high. We met couple of times since then, kissing in public, holding hands, movies and so on. We talked about everything, he even told me some things you don't say to people about yourself, thought we bonded too. Since we have good chemistry we started to flirt in a sexual context, nothing too harsh, but we talked about doing it in a teasing way. We didn't sleep together yet, I mean we never slept together. Yesterday he called me and we were talking about everything for half an hour, then he texted me-that we wants no strings attached relationship. For the first time in my life I was out of words...I didn't know what to say, somehow I started to cry without any reasons (maybe because he was my 1st BF) Then he told me that he doesn't want to marry in general. I was lost again I didn't know why he was saying all this to me. All I've told him was that I could be FWB with everyone else in this world but him and that I am lost and confused right now. I got shocked by him, I got shocked by myself with my honesty, my words and my reactions. He is a good guy, I can uderstand him, if I almost died, I'd probably have the same view on life as him. I don't know what to do, I don't understand this situation. He wants to take me on the dates, he give me gifts, he talks to me like I'm his shrink, he wants to bang me, he is bloody romantic too. Why? He is still acting romantic after our talk. I'm confused. He still communicates with me in a normal way, he is flirting again, for the love of God! From my experience so far guys shut down and go on the next victim and I never hear from them. Or they just become cold and distant and want to just do it anyway. I can vanish again and say goodbye, I can use him for sex and just to have fun. First option is the best option, but on the other hand I will regret it, I know myself. Second option is also good, but the thing is that he is too romantic type, I could get heartbroken a lot. Would it be wise to gamble and risk and just go for it to have fun? I was honest with him and he knows my view on this.
Grumpybutfun Posted November 2, 2013 Posted November 2, 2013 mia: Did he say, "I just want a no-strings attached relationship?" or did he say, "I just want to have sex only?" Wording is very important. G
Purepony Posted November 2, 2013 Posted November 2, 2013 What Goes Around Comes Around and will get you.. you dropped him a long time ago now he's dropping you from what it seems
SincereOnlineGuy Posted November 4, 2013 Posted November 4, 2013 (edited) Teenage BF is back! I am lost and confused right now. Is he your step-son too??? We're confused as well Edited November 4, 2013 by SincereOnlineGuy
Author miafarrow Posted November 11, 2013 Author Posted November 11, 2013 (edited) mia: Did he say, "I just want a no-strings attached relationship?" or did he say, "I just want to have sex only?" Wording is very important. G I honestly don't know what he said, he didn't said relationship or sex either. I've decided I will go for it just to have fun. Everything is great, but I'm not sure how to react or respond! We see each other couple of times this week, since my topic. We did have sex and he is acting totally different then all the guys who wanted just no string attached thing! For example when we did it for the first time, when I decided I will just go for it. I've thought we would just do it and that I will go home, instead this guy invited me to a bar, and we talked for 4 hours about everything, childhood, mine/his family, mine/his problems, what is bothering me/him while he was all over me. He always texts me first, everyday, he is sensitive, romantic, he always initiates stuff, he always responds to my texts. So what is the problem? As I said, I don't know how to react or respond in this situation, I can't let myself go 100%, instead I'm just responding to him. For example when he texts me: "I just want to wish you good night, kissss, kissss, kissss, miss you already!" I reply:"Thanks, you too, kiss!" Or when he wants to kiss me or hold hands or hug me in public, I back off after a while. Why? I like him a lot, but the thing is if he wanted no strings attached, why is he acting like someone who wants one day to be my BF? I mean, things are not suposed to go this way, right? It was suposed to be like this- we see each other once in a week or ten days, we just have sex and thats all, when we communicate, we communicate about where to meet, we do it secretly, we don't show affection in public and so on. And one more thing, when I switch the subject to sex indirectly, teasing him, he doesn't want to talk about it, he just backs off and stops responding. But when we talk about normal stuff like friends do, he is quite responsitive! So, I am lost! Why no strings attached stuff when he is not acting this way at all! Sometimes when I think about it, I think that he said what he said because I was the one who initiated sexy talk in the first place , my friend told me that he did this to test me out and to see my reactions about it. Well good job, because I told him before we had sex that we shouldn't do it because I like him, now I'm stuck, should I let my emotions towards him and be relaxed and show him affection the same way he does, or should I be hot-cold as I am now Edited November 11, 2013 by miafarrow
winny Posted November 11, 2013 Posted November 11, 2013 Ask him once more what kind of relationship he wants with you. Tell him what you would like. What will actually make you happy and comfortable. If he again says no strings attached, then I would say back off. I think you already like him a lot and without proper clarity you will be heartbroken.
frustr8ed Posted November 11, 2013 Posted November 11, 2013 This guy? http://www.gannett-cdn.com/-mm-/87b6b9b300dbd1e700303c7a98b8fab7f3fa924a/c=46-0-1584-2048&r=537&c=0-0-534-712/local/-/media/USATODAY/test/2013/10/02/1380732959000-farrow-sinatra.jpg
Author miafarrow Posted November 13, 2013 Author Posted November 13, 2013 Yes, its Frank!! Look, i will talk to him one day. Not now, i will give it a time. But the thing is that i dont know how to act, at some moments i am too cold and distant. He is confusing me with his behaviour thats all. I think he is really into me Thats great I guess. But he is the one who is more affectionate then me and he said no strings attached. So, my basic question is should i show him more affection? Act like him? Or just be colder? Waitng for him to contact me all the time, asking me out and those things? I dont know how to approach this situation and how to behave towards him because i dont understand him.
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