yorkie Posted October 30, 2013 Posted October 30, 2013 how do you do nc and 180 when you have kids as at the moment i see her nearly daily and i have to contact her regarding the kids. and because i didnt leave her alone in the first 2 months of the break up yes i was acting needy and crying and all that but now i want to do nc i havent spoken to her for 2 days now about us but have texted regarding the kids
KatZee Posted October 30, 2013 Posted October 30, 2013 Unfortunately complete NC is not possible when there are kids involved. Your situation would be LC. (Limited Contact). When you see her, do not engage in any conversation beyond your kids. Do not be emotional in anyway. Appear engaged but detached, aloof. If you have to see her to drop your kids off, knock on the door, say goodbye to your kids, and then just turn around and leave. Do not go inside, do not have conversation. If she messages you or calls or texts, do not respond unless it has to do with the kids. Obviously don't spend quality time with her alone even if she requests it. 3
LostOne08 Posted October 30, 2013 Posted October 30, 2013 Agree 100% with what KatZee said. No Contact is not a possibility when you have children together. You will always have to interact with one another. The only thing you can do in a situation like that is to make sure that any contact you have is focused SOLELY on the kids. No talking about the relationship or anything that doesn't have to do with your kids.
strive Posted October 30, 2013 Posted October 30, 2013 I feel for you yorkie. I'm in the same situation and as much as I want complete NC it just really is impossible. So what I do is let him initiate contact about the kids (they live with me so I have no problems there) and only initiate contact if I really really have to. These texts are always impersonal and never straying from the topic of kids. I'm on 10 days LC and I'd like to think it's getting better for me. I'm sure it'll get better for you to given more time. I think I found strength when one day he sent a breadcrumb and I didn't respond. I hope you can find a source of strength too.
Author yorkie Posted October 30, 2013 Author Posted October 30, 2013 thanks for the advice yes its hard its been 2 months and a few days and during the 2 months i did the begging thing now im not ontacting her unless its around the kids her gran says i have pushed her away but call this denial or whatever i know i did my best and thought what i believed in. one day she will try to get back whether its 6months or 10 yrs and the answer will be no just i need to move on badly, its great giving advice but accepting it is tougher! but thanks to you all
Haydn Posted October 30, 2013 Posted October 30, 2013 Yorkie mate, Tough for you. Hang in there my friend. Try to keep focus on the kids. I know how much this hurts. I am in pain everyday. The advice i have got here has been sound and the opinions varied but all have a way of making `us` think. Lets try to hook up in the future.
Author yorkie Posted October 30, 2013 Author Posted October 30, 2013 Haydn thanks mate. Tbh she came round for the kids tonight and I told her no matter what she thinks of me we are in each others life no matter what because of the kids but we need to to communicate with each other because of the kids I didnt mention us except that I am now moving on and she looked at me in shock and tbh I know there is still feelings there. And we have agreed to communicate for the kids which I think is positive. Love bloody hurts and some of my friends well associates say ditch her and move on but they dont know what its like. HayDn I dont know you mate but thank you so much. I class you as a mate I trust what you say and I know the pain u r going through too. I wish you the best to! In your situation and I tell you what I owe u a beer mate!
Author yorkie Posted October 30, 2013 Author Posted October 30, 2013 Haydn thanks mate. Tbh she came round for the kids tonight and I told her no matter what she thinks of me we are in each others life no matter what because of the kids but we need to to communicate with each other because of the kids I didnt mention us except that I am now moving on and she looked at me in shock and tbh I know there is still feelings there. And we have agreed to communicate for the kids which I think is positive. Love bloody hurts and some of my friends well associates say ditch her and move on but they dont know what its like. HayDn I dont know you mate but thank you so much. I class you as a mate I trust what you say and I know the pain u r going through too. I wish you the best to! In your situation and I tell you what I owe u a beer mate!
Recommended Posts