Kagimaru Posted October 30, 2013 Posted October 30, 2013 My girl friend of 5 years broke up with me 2 weeks ago now. It wouldn't be so bad, but it was 5 years. At first she said it was all her and not me. I was certain it wasn't so. I've played my share of games and so on, I didn't pay enough attention to her I think. Over the last couple months she stopped talking with me and went to one of her co workers house to talk about other co workers. One in particular she hated and would go there and they both complain etc.. I didn't notice it much at first but I was at school a lot, heavy course load at the moment. But she told him about our problems that I didn't even know about. Now 5 days after initial break up she was saying how she wanted to date him after 2 months. Which is too soon to be talking about this sort of thing. Especially to me. The 6th day she told him she liked him and he said the same. Now I'm fairly certain he used the knowledge to be more friendly an push me away from her. The day before she broke up with me she came home crumby that he was quitting and moving to Alberta. And since he has recalled his 2 weeks notice. But I'm only 19 right now and as much as it hurts me I care for her so deeply that I can't just not be her friend. But she spends all of her time texting him and when she's with him she doesn't text me(nothing depressing just friend chat) we are still friends but I'm losing it as she spends more and mire time with him. About one year ago she almost broke up with me and sai it was her not me and reiterated it until I actually believed it... She neer told me she was unhappy. I would have done anything to make her happy. But so I didn't change. I still spent time playing games, maybe 1-2 hours a day. Now for some back ground on her. She was sexually abused as a child and has some anger issues because she builds stress very easily and snaps eventually. (I hope she shows that to the next guy, it was kin of hard but I understand why she's that way) the man who abused her is her mother's boyfriend. Who she broke up with and then got back with casing some more issues. And I am the first guy she was able to trust before the coworker. I had planned to ask her to marry me before I move to a new city, (schooling transfer) and visit in between semesters. I moved to a whole new city once already to live with her. (Sh moved from the city to live with her mother and the man who abused her before, then I moved up to live with her) but now I'm lost. I currently live in the same house as her and her mother (now done with the guy who abused my now ex) and I don't have the funds to move out until January... I'm in a new city and know almost no one as well I'm very in familiar with town. Right now I'm hurting quite bad and her texting him all the time, going out with him all the time and so on is pushing me away from being her friend... I love her and care a lt about her happiness but it's so awkward being here. Also my cat I had for 14 years died the night she broke up with me. The only reason I found out about the guy was because her friend (my oldest friend of 17 years) told me. I know I'll be happy in the end, but I'm just so upset that it won't be with her.
Mariposa10 Posted October 30, 2013 Posted October 30, 2013 First of all, I'm sorry you're hurting so much. You've come to the right place, most of us have felt are feeling what you're feeling right now. Second of all, let me get something straight. You're living with her right now? And there's no way you can move out until January??? If so, you gotta do something about it, can you rent a room somewhere or something?? When my ex and I were still in contact I was starting to get physically ill. As soon as I decided to stop talking to him and asked him to leave me alone, that's when I FINALLY started feeling better. I was able to FINALLY start moving on. She's being really mean by pretty much rubbing in your face the new guy. Please understand this: right now she's only thinking about herself you need to start doing the same thing. DO WHATEVER WILL HELP YOU MOVE ON. The first thing is to go NC. The breakup has been very recent, please don't get discourage, let time do its thing. Don't be too hard on yourself. I know people usually hate to hear this, but you're young, you're starting your life. Remember that things do get better.
Outsider77 Posted October 30, 2013 Posted October 30, 2013 You guys were so young when you started dating. I'm not surprised she broke up with you. She's probably grown enough to find she feels differently about your relationship. It happens all the time. I'm sure it's going to be hard for you, especially since you were together for so long. I would advise against remaining her friend for now. It's going to make it harder to get over her. You need some time away from her for awhile so you can recover. Maybe in the future you could be friends but it's just a bad idea right now. Sorry about your cat. The ones that I had when I was a kid have all died within the last few years. I really think you need to find a new place as soon as possible because your situation is not good.
Justletgo Posted October 30, 2013 Posted October 30, 2013 Damn, I am very sorry to hear this. But it's all too common, the leaving for someone else story. Mine also sort of left me for someone else. This happens ALL THE TIME, even after decades of being together/marriage. It's very very hard. And especially because you're living with them and have nowhere else to go. Plus the cat dying of course. If I were you I'd get the HELL out of that house as soon as you can, for your own sanity. It'll only be a matter of time before they show up in that house. Focus on your hobby and friends. If you don't have them. GO find a new hobby. Don't speak to her at all, dont grovel/beg. Please don't make that mistake, it will only make her want you less. The best thing is to take it as a man and dissappear from her life. And make her dissappear out of your life. Hobbies and friends, hobbies and friends.
Author Kagimaru Posted October 30, 2013 Author Posted October 30, 2013 Damn, I am very sorry to hear this. But it's all too common, the leaving for someone else story. Mine also sort of left me for someone else. This happens ALL THE TIME, even after decades of being together/marriage. It's very very hard. And especially because you're living with them and have nowhere else to go. Plus the cat dying of course. If I were you I'd get the HELL out of that house as soon as you can, for your own sanity. It'll only be a matter of time before they show up in that house. Focus on your hobby and friends. If you don't have them. GO find a new hobby. Don't speak to her at all, dont grovel/beg. Please don't make that mistake, it will only make her want you less. The best thing is to take it as a man and dissappear from her life. And make her dissappear out of your life. Hobbies and friends, hobbies and friends. I'm unable to leave right now. Rent here is 300$ all food and utilities included in that 300, and I am currently attending university so I can't simply move away. I haven't begged and I don't plan to. And I'm not sure I want her back after the pain she has put me through. I'm tryin to move into student residence in January but I know almost no one here except her family which is hard
Lost_Dragon Posted October 30, 2013 Posted October 30, 2013 What a see you enn tee.. Don't be "not sure" Be certain. RUN BRO.
bubbaganoosh Posted October 30, 2013 Posted October 30, 2013 The next time you talk to her, tell her that you have been thinking a lot about your relationship with her and that you came to the conclusion that she's absolutely right. It was her and not you and you really deserve better. As soon as she went over to the other guys house and started complaining, it was his opening to strut like a peacock with all his feathers quivering and she liked what she saw. Too bad she's too stupid to understand that the only thing the guy wanted was to give his best to get her in "the other room". Sooner or later they realize that it was all smoke and mirrors and it wasn't real. She knew you and all your faults and now she thinks this guy can turn water into wine. Soon enough she'll find out that the wine is vinegar and then she'll be texting you saying that it was a big mistake. When that happens, let her know that yeah it was a mistake and she made it. After all is wasn't you as she said. It was her. Remind her of that. Let her think about it.
Author Kagimaru Posted October 30, 2013 Author Posted October 30, 2013 The next time you talk to her, tell her that you have been thinking a lot about your relationship with her and that you came to the conclusion that she's absolutely right. It was her and not you and you really deserve better. As soon as she went over to the other guys house and started complaining, it was his opening to strut like a peacock with all his feathers quivering and she liked what she saw. Too bad she's too stupid to understand that the only thing the guy wanted was to give his best to get her in "the other room". Sooner or later they realize that it was all smoke and mirrors and it wasn't real. She knew you and all your faults and now she thinks this guy can turn water into wine. Soon enough she'll find out that the wine is vinegar and then she'll be texting you saying that it was a big mistake. When that happens, let her know that yeah it was a mistake and she made it. After all is wasn't you as she said. It was her. Remind her of that. Let her think about it. Thank you for the support, same to everyone who has posted. But right now I'm laying low. I've already told her that she is the one who did this. I can't leave right now as much as I would like. An I have one option now to leave at the start of December. Which ill take. But for now it hurts to see her with him (hated the guy from day 1, always hit on her and I've told him to back off quite a bit, but she never told him enough) I'm going to lay low and let her sort things out. But in 8 months time I'm leaving to a university 10 hour drive away. And it'll be a bit late for her if she doesn't realize her mistake. I would do anything to make her happy, but I have to be me first now since she no longer is within my territory.
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