gogogogo Posted October 30, 2013 Posted October 30, 2013 (edited) okay so my ex girlfreind broke up with me cause she was confused and we had been having lots of little fights. i was with her for 10 or so months but she has a 5 year old so we moved very quickly and im his only father figure hes had in his life. i begged and acted desperate for the first day but then implemented no contact for me to heal and to give her some space. she went away for the weekend with her girlfriends so i dropped of all her sons toys to her parents house while she was away. organised it with her mom. so i hadnt heard from her since the break up and i get a txt from her saying "stay away from my family and coming round behind my back" i txt back " i organised it with your mom and dropped it all off when no one was home" she then txt back 3 txts asking if i had been with anyone yet and to be honest. i said no cause i hadnt and i dont lie. and i said why? she said its all good. so i left it for 3 hours and txt her saying "im keen to meet up and sort this all out, if your not then lets just cut all ties and go our seperate ways" she txt back straight away not even a second went by saying" its over im sorry" so i left it. 3 days went past and i txt her " hey just to say sorry the way things ended. im happy to move on and hope theres no hard feelings, i wish you well" she txt back "ok i hope your okay? i hope we can be friends in the future?" so then thats when i intiated no contact. i didnt txt back and started to move on. 5 days later she txt me randomly about a bag not being hers. i txt her 5 or so hours later saying i thought it was i dont know whos it is keep it. she txt back at midnight saying "it could be your parents and they will need it". i txt back the next morning and said "its just a bag. dont worry about it" the bag is what i put her sons toys in about 3 weeks before this. she hasnt txt back yet. i really miss her and love her and her son and want them back in my life. but she keeps contacting me about random things. is she playing games or something? is it really over? Edited October 30, 2013 by gogogogo
aybc123 Posted October 30, 2013 Posted October 30, 2013 yes she is, yes it is. if she was coming back she'd be giving you much stronger hints than asking you about a bag. she's probably acting a bit nicer now because a) you seem fine which she wont like and b) she was probably harsh initially because she'd just been away with her girlfriends where they could undoubtedly **** talk you for the weekend because that's what they do and felt a bit guilty about it.
Author gogogogo Posted October 30, 2013 Author Posted October 30, 2013 yea i thought it was over. its just there no other guy involved and all her friends and family love me. she was real upset when breaking up and said she wants a break and i dont do breaks so she said i just want to go hook up with other woman, she was crying and kissing and cuddling me and told me she loves me. thats the last time i saw her. im so confused haha
aybc123 Posted October 30, 2013 Posted October 30, 2013 If there's no other guy involved then you can expect breadcrumbs like you've been getting until there is someone else, and then she'll drop you like you're made of the sun. look im not saying she wont ever come back, but to break up with you she clearly isnt in love with you right now. Maybe in 6 months shes going to genuinely realise it was the worst mistake she ever made and make a play worth your time for getting you back, or maybe she'll meet someone else in a month or two and forget about you. Either way right now there's absolutely nothing you can do and getting right back together isn't going to fix things permanently, so you have to focus on yourself and looking after your own. You seem to be handling things pretty well so far.
Author gogogogo Posted October 30, 2013 Author Posted October 30, 2013 yea im just focussing on moving on, she has also driven past my house twice since we broke up well ive seen her go past twice. and my house is out of her way so i dunno im just gonna move on. do you think i should go no contact and ignore her attempts to contact me?
Assasda Posted October 30, 2013 Posted October 30, 2013 Its over, its done. Dont make it sadder than it already looks. Please, no more apologizing. See other women
aybc123 Posted October 30, 2013 Posted October 30, 2013 (edited) i dont know it's a decision you'll have to make. If you can move on without NC then that's what i'd do, but i know some people here might disagree so see what others think. Personally i'd just keep it polite, let her know you dont have any hard feelings and that you do still care (if she asks, dont volunteer this stuff) but that you aren't willing to wait around for someone to decide if they love you or not so you dont really have any choice but to start moving on. Basically just be honest but respectful, im guessing that's how you hope she treats you, so it's how i'd treat her. Her driving past your house may be a sign shes doubtful she made the right choice, or she might just be feeling some jealousy and thinking you're going to be sleeping around straight away (it's weird how people turn exes into characatures that are completely unlike the person they knew before in their minds when a breakup happens, but i guess insecurity causes that, negative thinking etc). Edit: Oh and ignore Assasda, as far as i can tell he's just a troll and always posts hostile/ belittling comments. Edited October 30, 2013 by aybc123
Author gogogogo Posted October 30, 2013 Author Posted October 30, 2013 i think il go no contact. easier for both of us. yea shes turned horrible since the break up. all her friends and family have contacted me saying how they are worried about her and hows she so confused about us. and i didnt even ask them they contacted me randomly. i think i should run for the hills
Author gogogogo Posted October 30, 2013 Author Posted October 30, 2013 yea i dont know how it looks sad? haha i havent iniated contact accept that once when i have realised its over and i wanted to end on good terms. every other time has been her. i have a bet with her brother in law i see at the gym. hes bet me she will be back saying shes made a mistake in a month. i get 2 cases of beer if she doesnt and i get her back if she does! win win!
Author gogogogo Posted October 30, 2013 Author Posted October 30, 2013 bump i would be keen to hear other peoples views too
Fufu Posted October 30, 2013 Posted October 30, 2013 To me, it's very clear this relationship is over. Contacting you in random times doesn't mean she wants to get back with you. (She said: its over im sorry and "ok i hope your okay? i hope we can be friends in the future?" ) And it doesn't seem to me that she is showing any signs she is keen in getting back with you. You need to move on.
Author gogogogo Posted October 30, 2013 Author Posted October 30, 2013 yea i thought that too. but ive caught her driving past my house twice and its out of her way so no reason to drive past my house. she always initiates contact first except for when i wanted to end it on good terms. i should have gone into more detail in the original post. but when we broke she wanted to go on a "break" i dont do breaks so i said lets break up and she cried told me she loved me and im her bestfreind and she said i just want to go out and hook up with other woman. which i dont. im just really confused, cause her friends and family also contact me saying they are worried about her and shes been down since we broke up. i think im going to leave it and if i hear from her again il just ask her what she really wants.
flight E Posted October 30, 2013 Posted October 30, 2013 She can come back but it all depends on you. Can you go on with your live and forget about her even if you only pretending though it's much better if it's 4 real: then she may come back. If you keeping needing her to come back then u have lost the quest already
Author gogogogo Posted October 30, 2013 Author Posted October 30, 2013 yea i can move on, sort of am its just she always contacts me about something every week and it sets me back. like shes finding reasons to contact me. i guess il just have to go nc. i just dont know what to do when she contacts me again?
barky2 Posted October 30, 2013 Posted October 30, 2013 You tell her that you'd like for her to stop contacting you because you're in the process of moving on and letting go. Tell to only contact you if she wants to reconcile. Wish her well, and begin your journey. You leave the ball in her court, and act as though she is not coming back. Barky
xUnknown Posted October 30, 2013 Posted October 30, 2013 You tell her that you'd like for her to stop contacting you because you're in the process of moving on and letting go. Tell to only contact you if she wants to reconcile. Wish her well, and begin your journey. You leave the ball in her court, and act as though she is not coming back. Barky Barky, do you mind giving me your thoughts here? Thanks! http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/436106-should-i-respond
Author gogogogo Posted October 30, 2013 Author Posted October 30, 2013 yea im just going to go no contact and if she contacts me il just say that, shes obviously confused about what she wants right now so out of sight out of mind !
ponchsox Posted October 30, 2013 Posted October 30, 2013 Time to move on. She will only end up hurting you more because she no longer has a commitment to you.
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