5 years later and STILL dreaming about my first love? Why?!

[LiittleMonster]

First time poster here.. I guess I just need advice from people who may be dealing with something similar to what I am.

 

So this all started over a decade ago when I was in middle school and met my first love. I was in love with him by the end of 8th grade and this lasted until the last day of my high school life. We spent the first two years of high school completely in love with each other and it seemed like a love not many people our age understood. He spent a lot of time trying to show me I could trust him, so it meant a lot when we were finally together.

 

I broke up with him over something stupid and spent my last two years of high school completely regretting it. I knew it still loved me in some way, but he wouldn't be with me. He told me several times he still had feelings for me and showed jealousy, but we never got back together. I spent most days anxious about seeing him, anxious about my classes with him, anxious about seeing him with someone else, and it seemed to never end. Everyone told me to get over him but I couldn't.

 

So I graduated and moved out of state. Met someone else. First love joined the military and I told him good luck. I was with the new guy for 4 years, happily, but throughout the 4 years I continued to constantly dream about my ex. My last boyfriend (the guy after my first love) and I broke up about a year ago. I have many more fresh memories with him, but I NEVER dream about him. Only my first love.

 

My dreams are mostly about me being in high school again. I walk around the halls looking for him. I walk into my classes hoping he's in there and hoping I see him. I have these dreams ALL the time! Obviously I've moved on. I haven't seen him in 5 years and I was with someone else for 4 of the 5 years I haven't seen him. At first I thought 'well you dream about people who were a big part of your life' but my last ex was a bigger part of my life and I never dream about him. Does this happen to anyone else? Does my subconcious miss him?

[Stryker101]

You never truly forget your first love. But the thought of him/her doesn't seem to affect you in terms of future relationships or send you into a spiral of emotions...

 

It could just be a temporary thing. I wouldn't look deep into it.

[Mario79]

Normally when we long for the past its because something in our present isnt doing it for us. I think anyways. So you long for that time, which that person was part of. But if you probably found him now he may not be what your memory of him was or who knows, I dont know. I dont think there is anything wrong with it, just dont get too distracted.

[Sugarkane]

I think it's easy for people to remember their first love through rose colored glasses. More so if you didn't live with them and have all their habits eventually annoy you to death. And didn't have to deal with paying bills, kids etc.