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ex's birthday, sent something nice.

Jord

By Jord
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

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JDPT Established Member

JDPT

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If I was a girl I would milk it for all I could as well. Not to be rude but why do you even bother, you guys are broken up.

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Zahara Established Member

Zahara

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I thought a few weeks ago you said she was dating someone else but was lying about it? You started a thread. Is she single now after this few weeks?

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Jord Member

Jord

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I thought a few weeks ago you said she was dating someone else but was lying about it? You started a thread. Is she single now after this few weeks?

 

yeah we talked it out, she's alone. i tend to overthink things, i am insecure. i think thats a main reason why we broke up, because i accused her of cheating and i went through her phone.

  • 4 weeks later...
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Jord Member

Jord

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its been a month of NC. as of late, she's been on my mind. i'm constantly thinking of her even having dreams. i don't know what it is, but i feel the need to talk to her. maybe because i'm missing her too much, or thanksgiving is coming up, and its the time of year where we use to spend quality time together...

 

i just want her back in my life.

BC1980 Established Member

BC1980

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It's very normal to have a heightened sense of missing someone after about a month because the reality is setting in. Lets ask you how you think a conversation would go if you called her? What do you hope to accomplish from it? Do you think it will actually make you feel better? Thinking logically about how it will really go helps a lot.

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Jord Member

Jord

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It's very normal to have a heightened sense of missing someone after about a month because the reality is setting in. Lets ask you how you think a conversation would go if you called her? What do you hope to accomplish from it? Do you think it will actually make you feel better? Thinking logically about how it will really go helps a lot.

 

i would say something like this "hey. look you know i was a jerk last time i contacted you. i just wish we could talk this over..."

LostConfused123 Established Member

LostConfused123

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If you don't mind me asking, did you break up with her?

Simon Phoenix Established Member

Simon Phoenix

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i would say something like this "hey. look you know i was a jerk last time i contacted you. i just wish we could talk this over..."

 

And what would you do if she says no or doesn't respond at all? How would you react?

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Jord Member

Jord

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If you don't mind me asking, did you break up with her?

 

she broke up with me.

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Jord Member

Jord

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And what would you do if she says no or doesn't respond at all? How would you react?

 

well i'd feel a lot better than i am now. even if she said "leave me alone for good" it would help, so all my hope would be killed, and i could move on.

Logan oO Member

Logan oO

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its been a month of NC. as of late, she's been on my mind. i'm constantly thinking of her even having dreams. i don't know what it is, but i feel the need to talk to her. maybe because i'm missing her too much, or thanksgiving is coming up, and its the time of year where we use to spend quality time together...

 

i just want her back in my life.

 

Chasing for answers from an ex, is like trying to find the end of a rainbow. It's pointless and you never get anywhere. You've made it through a month already, you can still carry on, If she gave a crap she'd have contacted you by now.

 

Do not go back to square one! Carry on! NC all the way

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cavalier99 Established Member

cavalier99

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well i'd feel a lot better than i am now. even if she said "leave me alone for good" it would help, so all my hope would be killed, and i could move on.

 

Esentially she has already said this thru her actions. No need to get hit over the head with a ton of bricks to understand it is over. Believe me you wont feel better. Cav

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LostConfused123 Established Member

LostConfused123

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she broke up with me.

I'm so sorry. That makes it even harder (in my opinion)

I would suggest, DON'T DO IT!!!

I know how hard and even impossible that may seem but I would hate to imagine your heart getting ripped apart, yet again. Especially, so close to the holiday.

 

Stay strong!! You are worth it!!! Don't forget that and you owe it to yourself to heal and find someone better.

Best of luck my friend and PLEASE don't her ruin your holiday and the brief time you have with your loved ones and friends that care about you more than you even know.

 

((hugs))

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LostConfused123 Established Member

LostConfused123

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I'm so sorry. That makes it even harder (in my opinion)

I would suggest, DON'T DO IT!!!

I know how hard and even impossible that may seem but I would hate to imagine your heart getting ripped apart, yet again. Especially, so close to the holiday.

 

Stay strong!! You are worth it!!! Don't forget that and you owe it to yourself to heal and find someone better.

Best of luck my friend and PLEASE don't her ruin your holiday and the brief time you have with your loved ones and friends that care about you more than you even know.

 

((hugs))

Oh forgot to say. . . .

FORGIVE YOURSELF!!!!

We all say things we don't mean, especially when we're feeling so emotional.

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Kevin_D Established Member

Kevin_D

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well i'd feel a lot better than i am now. even if she said "leave me alone for good" it would help, so all my hope would be killed, and i could move on.

 

I have a friend who has been doing this for 10 months now. He tries to go NC for a few weeks, then gets drunk and call her in the middle of the night. They have a little chat and he feels much happier for the moment. A few days later, reality kicks in and he realises that nothing has changed.

 

Rinse and repeat.

 

Don't do this. Like so many others have stated... It's an addiction. In order to get clean, you have to stay away from the drug long enough to be happy without it. If you don't, you'll be back on square one.

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Jord Member

Jord

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i get it, i'm just in for another beatdown if i contact her.

 

this sucks, i feel i'm waiting for her to contact me all the time, constantly checking my phone.

 

i just can't seem to get the monkey off my back, last time we spoke i got pissed off said some nasty things, and she ignored me for weeks.

LostConfused123 Established Member

LostConfused123

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i get it, i'm just in for another beatdown if i contact her.

 

this sucks, i feel i'm waiting for her to contact me all the time, constantly checking my phone.

 

i just can't seem to get the monkey off my back, last time we spoke i got pissed off said some nasty things, and she ignored me for weeks.

Like I said, we all say things we regret (even her) and she knows that.

 

I can relate to everything you're saying and believe me I feel your pain. You have come so far. Don't throw it away!!

 

Btw, I don't know what your plans for Thanksgiving are but I'll be "poking" around in here, I'm sure. . . Ha ha!

Just sayin I'll be around if you need to talk. :D

 

Think of all your blessed with. I'm sure it's a lot!

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Kevin_D Established Member

Kevin_D

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i get it, i'm just in for another beatdown if i contact her.

 

this sucks, i feel i'm waiting for her to contact me all the time, constantly checking my phone.

 

i just can't seem to get the monkey off my back, last time we spoke i got pissed off said some nasty things, and she ignored me for weeks.

 

You need to do something that makes you proud of yourself. I've started to record music again. Instead of calling her, I write kickass songs instead. When I listen to them, I realise that I'm really talented, but she never made me feel that way. But deep inside I know that many girls dream of a guy who have my talents.

 

What are your interests? What did you enjoy doing before you met her?

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BC1980 Established Member

BC1980

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I have a friend who has been doing this for 10 months now. He tries to go NC for a few weeks, then gets drunk and call her in the middle of the night. They have a little chat and he feels much happier for the moment. A few days later, reality kicks in and he realises that nothing has changed.

 

Rinse and repeat.

 

Don't do this. Like so many others have stated... It's an addiction. In order to get clean, you have to stay away from the drug long enough to be happy without it. If you don't, you'll be back on square one.

 

This is a good example. Don't be like this person.

BC1980 Established Member

BC1980

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well i'd feel a lot better than i am now. even if she said "leave me alone for good" it would help, so all my hope would be killed, and i could move on.

 

She has already given her answer by not being with you. Most people don't want to say it again and again to someone's face. Most people don't want to have to be that blunt if they can avoid it.

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Jord Member

Jord

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She has already given her answer by not being with you. Most people don't want to say it again and again to someone's face. Most people don't want to have to be that blunt if they can avoid it.

 

so i just leave it alone, and if something were to happen i'd just let it happen on her terms??

reddragon588 Established Member

reddragon588

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well i'd feel a lot better than i am now. even if she said "leave me alone for good" it would help, so all my hope would be killed, and i could move on.

 

I'm just going to have this one last cigarette, then I'll quit for good, I promise.

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RDawg Established Member

RDawg

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Jord my man you have my sympathy. It's like a wall of pain that one doesn't even want to contemplate.

 

Take care of your body, seek the comfort of friends, look after your work or studies, appreciate your family if they're around.

 

Accept that not everything that is good for us feels good at the time. It sounds like you are young so please try and gain some proper perspective on all of this.

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Sososad Established Member

Sososad

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Just wondering how this turned out..

Did she get in touch ?!

BC1980 Established Member

BC1980

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so i just leave it alone, and if something were to happen i'd just let it happen on her terms??

 

Leave it alone. She has been clear.

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