Kate9292 Posted October 31, 2013 Posted October 31, 2013 Well then how should I do it? I'm being honest here. The way I see it is I don't know these women but I'd like to. I see you, you are random, so I talk to you and try to get to know you. True it starts with me being physically attracted but what else am I supposed to use to filter through all the people I know nothing about? Like I've said going to and through friends does not work. I'm going to try hanging out at more clubs I like but even then I'm going to limit myself to the few girls that I meet that way. I've been very disappointed with the women I meet through conventional ways and not trying. If I don't step outside the groups I'm in I'm likely not going to meet a woman I really want to be with any time soon and that's the end of it. Talk to women like human beings they are. Show some interest in what they do and what they like. Sell something about yourself to them which you think would cause them to be interested in you. If they don't buy it, just move on... Don't treat them like sex objects only. Knowing that someone is attracted to you is nice. Knowing that they only are interested in using you as sex object - not so much. 1
Author 404namenotfound Posted November 1, 2013 Author Posted November 1, 2013 Talk to women like human beings they are. Show some interest in what they do and what they like. Sell something about yourself to them which you think would cause them to be interested in you. If they don't buy it, just move on... Don't treat them like sex objects only. Knowing that someone is attracted to you is nice. Knowing that they only are interested in using you as sex object - not so much. I don't know if you're trolling or what but I'm not just trying to get in their pants. That's the whole point of this question. How do I show them that I am actually interested in finding out who they are? Obviously I don't know them so I can't like them as a person but I can be interested in finding out who they are and date them etc and then warm up to them.
Kate9292 Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 I don't know if you're trolling or what but I'm not just trying to get in their pants. That's the whole point of this question. How do I show them that I am actually interested in finding out who they are? Obviously I don't know them so I can't like them as a person but I can be interested in finding out who they are and date them etc and then warm up to them. Smooth... you try to call people who try to help you trolls, makes one really eager to do so... Reread your question... It answers itself... You wanna find out who they are? Then do it. Ask them questions about themselves, try to relate to them. You have never done anything like that before? You never were interested in any other person and what they do, sexually or not?
spiderowl Posted November 2, 2013 Posted November 2, 2013 I'm not going to lie and say I don't care about looks. I'm not saying she has to be perfect or the best looking girl ever but I really do not want to date someone I don't find rather attractive. I hate to use the scale but I'm going to date a woman who isn't at least a 7/10 to me. I mean I'll just be single rather than feel like I compromised. With that I really do care how she is as a person. I feel like that is a given in the context here though. Other wise I'd just date the skanky chicks I seem to attract. I actually kind of did take a break after the thing with the chick I really wanted to date. Now I'm getting back into it and I was just thinking about how things went wrong. You seem to have double standards about women rather than treating them all as people with feelings. If you treat some like pick-ups and then go after women who won't allow themselves to be picked up so easily, the women you think you deserve aren't going to like the way you treat other women. Double standards are very obvious and tend to betray someone as not being very sensitive or considerate. Most women would like someone they can respect who is kind and thoughtful. From what you say, this is pretty much what's happening. The women you like see how you treat others, they think 'if I end up with this guy, he's just going to use me and dump me like the others', so they keep their distance and you carry on picking up women to satisfy your needs. Can't see this changing somehow as you seem fairly smug about being able to pick girls up but don't want this to go against you. 1
Author 404namenotfound Posted November 2, 2013 Author Posted November 2, 2013 Smooth... you try to call people who try to help you trolls, makes one really eager to do so... Reread your question... It answers itself... You wanna find out who they are? Then do it. Ask them questions about themselves, try to relate to them. You have never done anything like that before? You never were interested in any other person and what they do, sexually or not? You're not helping me, you're talking down to me with no real advice. I don't want that kind of "help". If you're going to be respectful I'd like to hear your input on this. I'm just not going to tolerate someone talking down to me. I have always thought that when approaching a woman I know nothing about other than how she looks the idea is to show my interest and then have her make up her mind about what she thinks about me. I've figured she determines pretty quickly if I'm someone she'd consider. I'm just going to say "you, me, coffee now!", but I don't try to disguise what I do as anything but a pickup. Now should I disguise that? Should I just talk to a girl I'm interested in like a friend when really that is not at all what I am going for? That seems counter intuitive and is just going to land me in a place where I don't want to be. It sounds like I might end up "chasing" a lot of uninterested girls that don't mind the attention or are too "nice" to tell me they don't like me. I've had that happen and its the worst. This all comes back to that what a value in a girlfriend is different than what I want in a friend. I'll date someone I wouldn't be close friends with, and I like it that way. I like being friends with girls who act like guys and I'm not interested in while I like to date the more girly girls. I want my friends to be like me, I want the person I date to complement who I am. That's why I don't really want to just end up being friends with they type of girls I pursue.
Author 404namenotfound Posted November 2, 2013 Author Posted November 2, 2013 You seem to have double standards about women rather than treating them all as people with feelings. If you treat some like pick-ups and then go after women who won't allow themselves to be picked up so easily, the women you think you deserve aren't going to like the way you treat other women. Double standards are very obvious and tend to betray someone as not being very sensitive or considerate. Most women would like someone they can respect who is kind and thoughtful. From what you say, this is pretty much what's happening. The women you like see how you treat others, they think 'if I end up with this guy, he's just going to use me and dump me like the others', so they keep their distance and you carry on picking up women to satisfy your needs. Can't see this changing somehow as you seem fairly smug about being able to pick girls up but don't want this to go against you. I don't treat anyone poorly. The point of this question was to try improve what I do so I don't keep getting stuck with attractive women with nasty personalities. I don't "use and then dump" anyone. I'll go on a few dates with some chick, think she's alright and then it usually doesn't go much past that. I'm guessing the issue that I have is that by being too forward the only girls I attract are the ones that want that. That's not a double standard at all though. Also I don't think other women are seeing the women I get on dates. Campus is way too big for that and the nicer girls don't really socialize with the ones I'm trying to avoid. What I'm trying to accomplish here is be able to walk up to a woman that I am attracted to, strike up some conversation, find out she's a nice person, and take her on a date. Is that too much to ask for?
bumpyroad Posted November 2, 2013 Posted November 2, 2013 *shudder* at the phrases 'picking up' and 'random chicks'. How did I know you'd be a college student. 1
youaremysunshine Posted November 2, 2013 Posted November 2, 2013 It boogles the mind that you can label women so fast, within seconds of meeting them and then complain you only meet shallow women. Maybe you are being shallow? 1
AntiSocal Posted November 2, 2013 Posted November 2, 2013 I don't treat anyone poorly. The point of this question was to try improve what I do so I don't keep getting stuck with attractive women with nasty personalities. I don't "use and then dump" anyone. I'll go on a few dates with some chick, think she's alright and then it usually doesn't go much past that. I'm guessing the issue that I have is that by being too forward the only girls I attract are the ones that want that. That's not a double standard at all though. Also I don't think other women are seeing the women I get on dates. Campus is way too big for that and the nicer girls don't really socialize with the ones I'm trying to avoid. What I'm trying to accomplish here is be able to walk up to a woman that I am attracted to, strike up some conversation, find out she's a nice person, and take her on a date. Is that too much to ask for? Is this real life... You pick up all girls the same. Whether she is ugly, attractive, slutty, or prudish its all the same game. You approach the women. You talk to the women. You get the womens information. You walk away. You contact the women later and set up a date. When a girl is approached by a random guy she KNOWS that he is trying to pick her up. If she allows you to approach her chances are she WANTS you to try and get her information. She does NOT want to have an awkward conversation with you for 15 minutes. She does not want you to pretend that you are trying to be her friend. She wants to meet you and then she wants you to go away. Most girls like assertive men. Even the prudes like assertive men. Maybe what you are searching for is a socially awkward girl?
Author 404namenotfound Posted November 3, 2013 Author Posted November 3, 2013 *shudder* at the phrases 'picking up' and 'random chicks'. How did I know you'd be a college student. Glad you can't relate.
Author 404namenotfound Posted November 3, 2013 Author Posted November 3, 2013 It boogles the mind that you can label women so fast, within seconds of meeting them and then complain you only meet shallow women. Maybe you are being shallow? I don't know them within seconds, that's how I end up on dates with slutty/shallow/bitchy chicks. So I don't really get what you're talking about.
Author 404namenotfound Posted November 3, 2013 Author Posted November 3, 2013 Is this real life... You pick up all girls the same. Whether she is ugly, attractive, slutty, or prudish its all the same game. You approach the women. You talk to the women. You get the womens information. You walk away. You contact the women later and set up a date. When a girl is approached by a random guy she KNOWS that he is trying to pick her up. If she allows you to approach her chances are she WANTS you to try and get her information. She does NOT want to have an awkward conversation with you for 15 minutes. She does not want you to pretend that you are trying to be her friend. She wants to meet you and then she wants you to go away. Most girls like assertive men. Even the prudes like assertive men. Maybe what you are searching for is a socially awkward girl? See this is what I've thought, but then girls have told me that they didn't like that I came off as only interested in them for their looks. Which isn't the case. I really do want to date someone I actually like being around and am attracted to.
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