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Do you wish for breadcrumbs/contact? Here's what you get if you give in to them:

Brown-Eyez

By Brown-Eyez
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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Brown-Eyez Established Member

Brown-Eyez

Posted
Posted

I'm on my 3rd or 4th cycle of "giving in" and responding when he contacts me (he left me in August).

 

He drops breadcrumb texts,

I reply casually and friendly,

we text a couple times and then he stops

 

this happens every week or two

 

then he's in my head again :sick:

 

I never initiate the contact but

can't stop myself from responding to him

 

this last time we texted for over 2 hours!

it was great!! :)

we almost got together

but I was smart (for once) and

decided not to..

 

now its been a week since i've heard from him :(

and i miss him!

 

I'm feeling very rejected and sad AGAIN!! :mad:

 

so that's ^^ what you get when you give in to breadcrumbs :o

 

maybe for some of us, we have to go through this shi**ty process

just to get it through our thick heads

that its really, truly, for sure, OVER

EVEN IF they keep contacting you with little bits of sweetness :eek:

 

have i learned yet?

I do know now that he's showing me

... he's really not that into me :(

ouch..that hurts

 

maybe i think i'm ready to finally give up

who wants to be with someone who thinks you're just meh????

NOT ME!

 

even though he's smart & sexy & cute and really fun to be with

that's ALL IN THE PAST!

 

so my pathetic plan:

I will give him one more week

if he doesn't contact me with something good

I promise myself I will block him from my life

 

 

 

thank you everyone here at LS!! :love:

 

these posts really really help me

and I hope anyone reading them -who has anything similar going on in their lives (sorry if you do :( )

--can be helped by this too..

Simon Phoenix Established Member

Simon Phoenix

Posted
Posted

Forget a week. Block him now. I mean, odds are if he contacts you this week you'll be in the exact same pattern you are posting about. Why wait? Don't procrastinate.

  • Like 1
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Brown-Eyez Established Member

Brown-Eyez

Posted
  • Author
Posted

See I'm in the middle of the cycle

where after he has contacted me

I start really thinking ALOT about him

 

you know, missing him, wanting him etc :sick:

 

then when i don't hear from him for longer

i get stronger again

that's when it will be way easier

to FINALLY stop this madness :mad:

 

you're absolutely right

I should block him now

but i'm so messed in the head

..really missing him & feeling sad :(

 

what I just did though

(to speed this ugly thing up)

was I just contacted him!

 

IF he ignores me

I won't have to wait the week

cuz I'm sick of the rejection

 

i know its not the perfect plan

and it may not sound like it

but I really do feel as if I'm working my way out of this..

Nicoleiia Established Member

Nicoleiia

Posted
Posted

ugggh, the dreaded breadcrumbs. Please go NC immediately. The relationship is over. There's no need to communicate with him anymore. It's extremely hard to do, especially since he keeps contacting you through text, but you have to bite the bullet and just do it. The breadcrumbs are getting old; if they weren't, you wouldn't be on LS.

  • Like 2
aybc123 Established Member

aybc123

Posted
Posted

Did you ever consider that maybe he thinks you're not into him anymore?

 

You aren't contacting him, and deciding not to see him when he does contact you (i assume he was the one who asked to meet up) he probably figures you've moved on and aren't too bothered anymore so is taking the hint.

 

If that's where you want to be then why respond at all, the relationship is over so just go NC for good. If it's not then you cant exactly be hurt that he isn't banging on your door.

Simon Phoenix Established Member

Simon Phoenix

Posted
Posted
See I'm in the middle of the cycle

where after he has contacted me

I start really thinking ALOT about him

 

you know, missing him, wanting him etc :sick:

 

then when i don't hear from him for longer

i get stronger again

that's when it will be way easier

to FINALLY stop this madness :mad:

 

you're absolutely right

I should block him now

but i'm so messed in the head

..really missing him & feeling sad :(

 

what I just did though

(to speed this ugly thing up)

was I just contacted him!

 

IF he ignores me

I won't have to wait the week

cuz I'm sick of the rejection

 

i know its not the perfect plan

and it may not sound like it

but I really do feel as if I'm working my way out of this..

 

http://iruntheinternet.com/lulzdump/images/gifs/naked-gun-face-palm-head-slap-doh-1360196138K.gif

Simon Phoenix Established Member

Simon Phoenix

Posted
Posted
Did you ever consider that maybe he thinks you're not into him anymore?

 

You aren't contacting him, and deciding not to see him when he does contact you (i assume he was the one who asked to meet up) he probably figures you've moved on and aren't too bothered anymore so is taking the hint.

 

If that's where you want to be then why respond at all, the relationship is over so just go NC for good. If it's not then you cant exactly be hurt that he isn't banging on your door.

 

Who cares if he thinks that? HE BROKE UP WITH HER. You really think it's her job to chase him down? She responds to everything he says -- I'm pretty sure he can tell that she's hooked.

  • Like 2
I-Love-Liberty Member

I-Love-Liberty

Posted
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You know, I don't get the mentality of someone that gives breadcrumbs to their ex, it's just not something I can empathize with, it's like WHY? What's your deal? It seems passive-aggressive, disingenuous and really a bunch of BS. It's something I wouldn't do to another person and don't know why anyone would. If someone needs an ego boost that bad, that they would consciously do this, then they're not worth their salt anyhow.

 

If I were in your situation, I would prepare to go NC, but before I did, I would ask him what his deal is. Not really in a rude way, but not in a nice way either, just very matter of fact.

Simon Phoenix Established Member

Simon Phoenix

Posted
Posted
You know, I don't get the mentality of someone that gives breadcrumbs to their ex, it's just not something I can empathize with, it's like WHY? What's your deal? It seems passive-aggressive, disingenuous and really a bunch of BS. It's something I wouldn't do to another person and don't know why anyone would. If someone needs an ego boost that bad, that they would consciously do this, then they're not worth their salt anyhow.

 

If I were in your situation, I would prepare to go NC, but before I did, I would ask him what his deal is. Not really in a rude way, but not in a nice way either, just very matter of fact.

 

You have a better chance of finding $10,000 in a duffel bag lying on the street than getting an honest answer to that question.

  • Like 4
I-Love-Liberty Member

I-Love-Liberty

Posted
Posted
You have a better chance of finding $10,000 in a duffel bag lying on the street than getting an honest answer to that question.

 

Well... I don't know, it's just like how I feel man. LOL.

aybc123 Established Member

aybc123

Posted
Posted
Who cares if he thinks that? HE BROKE UP WITH HER. You really think it's her job to chase him down? She responds to everything he says -- I'm pretty sure he can tell that she's hooked.

 

I'm not saying she should, i'm just saying that depending on the tone of the texts shes sending I could easily see myself being confused if i was trying to reconnect (as friends or otherwise)

 

If it's like:

 

Ex: Hey how are you? not heard from you in a long time how's it going?

OP: Yeah fine

Ex: That's good, hey do you fancy doing something in the week and meeting up?

OP: No thanks

 

Then yeah i'd think she just wasnt interested despite the fact that she's replying, i'd just think she was being polite.

 

If its:

Ex: Hey whats up?

OP: Oh hi ex so good to hear from you how are you doing??

Ex: Im good, want to grab a coffee and catch up?

OP: Oh ex, i'd love to but i really shouldnt i still have a lot of feelings for you and it'd set me back

 

Then yeah it'd be pretty obvious.

 

And before you say it yes i know i've vastly overexaggerated both situations.

Simon Phoenix Established Member

Simon Phoenix

Posted
Posted
I'm not saying she should, i'm just saying that depending on the tone of the texts shes sending I could easily see myself being confused if i was trying to reconnect (as friends or otherwise)

 

If it's like:

 

Ex: Hey how are you? not heard from you in a long time how's it going?

OP: Yeah fine

Ex: That's good, hey do you fancy doing something in the week and meeting up?

OP: No thanks

 

Then yeah i'd think she just wasnt interested despite the fact that she's replying, i'd just think she was being polite.

 

If its:

Ex: Hey whats up?

OP: Oh hi ex so good to hear from you how are you doing??

Ex: Im good, want to grab a coffee and catch up?

OP: Oh ex, i'd love to but i really shouldnt i still have a lot of feelings for you and it'd set me back

 

Then yeah it'd be pretty obvious.

 

And before you say it yes i know i've vastly overexaggerated both situations.

 

If you really wanted her back you wouldn't let that stop you. But please, don't give this girl any impetus to lower herself for this guy. She pretty much has been his puppet.

aybc123 Established Member

aybc123

Posted
Posted
If you really wanted her back you wouldn't let that stop you. But please, don't give this girl any impetus to lower herself for this guy. She pretty much has been his puppet.

 

Fair enough, i have no idea of the back story here at all, but im guessing the dynamic has not been like option one of my example then.

 

I probably wouldn't, no, but i'm a bit of a soppy muppet so..

Simon Phoenix Established Member

Simon Phoenix

Posted
Posted
Fair enough, i have no idea of the back story here at all, but im guessing the dynamic has not been like option one of my example then.

 

I probably wouldn't, no, but i'm a bit of a soppy muppet so..

 

Nah, has nothing to do with you being a soppy muppet, whatever that is. If you let go of something and wanted it back, you'd go after it because that's just what happens.

  • Like 1
haggard969 Established Member

haggard969

Posted
Posted

the way i see it. the dumper dumped you for themselves. they text you to comfort themselves. they love you but wont come back becaise they know that they can. its best to tell him you have a bf nxt time he messages. trust me. every dumper seems to play tuga war. but their end of the rope has no end. ours does.

  • Like 1
Simon Phoenix Established Member

Simon Phoenix

Posted
Posted
the way i see it. the dumper dumped you for themselves. they text you to comfort themselves. they love you but wont come back becaise they know that they can. its best to tell him you have a bf nxt time he messages. trust me. every dumper seems to play tuga war. but their end of the rope has no end. ours does.

 

No, lying to them is not the best strategy, ignoring them is.

BC1980 Established Member

BC1980

Posted
Posted

Texting has made it way too easy for dumper's to send these lazy breadcrumbs. It's insulting actually. If a person had decent intentions, he/she would make an actual phone call at the very least.

  • Like 1
Stryker101 Member

Stryker101

Posted
Posted

Waste of time.

 

Once that person finds someone new the breadcrumbs stop coming.

beyondcrushed Established Member

beyondcrushed

Posted
Posted

This is exactly what is happening to me. He wants to be friends but doesn't realize what it is doing to you emotionally, since you are not over him. You cannot control him but you can control you. I advise you move on and forget about him. If he really was interested and wanted you, you'd be together right now. You'd be in each others arms. Unfortunately, you aren't. For your sanity and heart, go NC. It's over:(

haggard969 Established Member

haggard969

Posted
Posted
No, lying to them is not the best strategy, ignoring them is.

 

yeah i just meant if it gets out of control, she to get him to stop leaving bread crumbs, tell him you moved on and to F off

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