elmichi Posted October 29, 2013 Posted October 29, 2013 Our first date was coffee. We talked for like an hour and then we showed each other our lab's on campus (both grad students). He texted me the next day and we chatted, then he texted me again today and we chatted and I hinted we should get together again today. Fast forward: we went and got ice cream. I think it went well but of course me, being the queen of awkward date endings, went for a kiss in the car and ended up getting his cheek (and a longish/hard kiss-awkward)... ughhhh lol. I thought the hug/waiting for him to do something would be more awkward so I gave it a go. I think I just said "See ya later" after that but I don't remember since I was embarrassed lol. I think he was interested before the kiss cause he did hint that I could hang out with him at his place after but I declined cause I said I had to study and hinted that later in the week would be better for me. Do you think I ruined it with the kiss? It didn't really seem like he leaned in to it.. No text from him today/
ConstantVoyager Posted October 29, 2013 Posted October 29, 2013 If he's interested in you, the awkward kiss will mean nothing. It's not a big deal.
Assasda Posted October 29, 2013 Posted October 29, 2013 I dont think you ruined anything with the kiss. How did you "hint" that later in the week would be ok? Because if it was not clear, he could think that youre blowing him off. Try using hugs more, then build up to kisses. It sounds ok so far. He just doesnt want to play all of his cards on the first date, and he's in his right
Author elmichi Posted October 29, 2013 Author Posted October 29, 2013 (edited) If he's interested in you, the awkward kiss will mean nothing. It's not a big deal. I mean, I think he is. He asked me to hang out more after, paid for the icecream, seemed to put thought into the place (wanted to take me somewhere he thought I'd never been) but then he completely rejected my kiss! ha So, just wait til he texts me? Edited October 29, 2013 by elmichi
Author elmichi Posted October 29, 2013 Author Posted October 29, 2013 I dont think you ruined anything with the kiss. How did you "hint" that later in the week would be ok? Because if it was not clear, he could think that youre blowing him off. Try using hugs more, then build up to kisses. It sounds ok so far. He just doesnt want to play all of his cards on the first date, and he's in his right Well, he said "we could hang out more at my place" and I said (I think) "Well, I actually have to get back home and study for that quiz (I talked about it before)" Earlier in the car I mentioned that I could "relax" with school at thursday at noon.. which he kind of laughed at. But no, it wasn't a clear "hint" I guess. I just thought a "car hug" would have been awkward and I thought I leaned in enough to give him a heads up.. guess not lol. I wish he would have walked me to my door.
Assasda Posted October 29, 2013 Posted October 29, 2013 How do you expect the guy to contact you without a clear hint?? Anyway, since the awkwardness is overwhelming. At the end of your next date, you should say "Can I have a kiss on the lips please?" and I dont know any guy that would turn that down. Its just the first date, hahaha aggressive
Author elmichi Posted October 29, 2013 Author Posted October 29, 2013 How do you expect the guy to contact you without a clear hint?? Anyway, since the awkwardness is overwhelming. At the end of your next date, you should say "Can I have a kiss on the lips please?" and I dont know any guy that would turn that down. Its just the first date, hahaha aggressive It was the second date! but what should I do now, text him? text him what?
Assasda Posted October 29, 2013 Posted October 29, 2013 Find something fun to do and invite him out to do it
forgetmenot75 Posted October 29, 2013 Posted October 29, 2013 Please, do yourself a favor and ignore those who say you should contact him!! Bad, bad advice!! This is pretty obvious, the guy wanted sex, you said no because you had to study, he didn't even give you a kiss because he felt it was non sense since you didn't agree to go to his dorm. Yes, that kiss was awkward. Wait until he texts you. Do nothing.
forgetmenot75 Posted October 29, 2013 Posted October 29, 2013 Find something fun to do and invite him out to do it Absolutely not. After he didn't give you a kiss and he did not follow up, is obvioûs he is not that interested.
Author elmichi Posted October 30, 2013 Author Posted October 30, 2013 Absolutely not. After he didn't give you a kiss and he did not follow up, is obvioûs he is not that interested. You really think so? He didn't give off a single air of flirtation/sexualness. Also, I happened to come across him on a dating website that I was on. He answered Qs about sex saying it was something you only do to bond, he'd be willing to have it after a few dates- not "right away", he considered dating romantic, etc. Not that those are bible answers, but, he seemed like a "nice" guy
Assasda Posted October 30, 2013 Posted October 30, 2013 Absolutely not. After he didn't give you a kiss and he did not follow up, is obvioûs he is not that interested. You dont make any sense. If all he wanted was sex, then he would have DEFINATELY kissed her. hahaha 2
Author elmichi Posted October 30, 2013 Author Posted October 30, 2013 Lol! I'm glad you guys don't think that either. But I didn't receive a text at all today. I'm just thinking he's not interested cause of the kiss, I feel like such a fool lol. It just felt like he rejected it and gave a little nervous? laugh after I did it.. ugh. I feel like I shouldn't text him but I don't know.
forgetmenot75 Posted October 30, 2013 Posted October 30, 2013 You dont make any sense. If all he wanted was sex, then he would have DEFINATELY kissed her. hahaha he wasn't interested in a kiss since she was not sleeping with him. And I DO make sense. Re-read. 1
forgetmenot75 Posted October 30, 2013 Posted October 30, 2013 Lol! I'm glad you guys don't think that either. But I didn't receive a text at all today. I'm just thinking he's not interested cause of the kiss, I feel like such a fool lol. It just felt like he rejected it and gave a little nervous? laugh after I did it.. ugh. I feel like I shouldn't text him but I don't know. OF course you should not text him. Or yes, go ahead and text him and feel the rejection again! 1
Author elmichi Posted October 30, 2013 Author Posted October 30, 2013 I'm not going to text him but I do hope you're wrong. I just think it's an extreme accusation to say the guy wanted nothing more than to get laid just because he wanted to hang out at his house. I mean, you may be right, but it also could have been he just wanted to hang out more. We did get ice cream at a place where you had to eat outside, we had both finished and it was pretty cold out. He didn't give me a single hint of flirtation-conversation or look wise that would make me place him in that category.. but who knows. I'd like to believe he just really wasn't expecting the kiss and that is why he froze up, didn't know what I was going for, and didn't say anything after it happened. Don't you think if he truly was uninterested in a kiss he would have said some bull**** excuse afterwards? I don't know. I'm not going to make a move but I do hope you're not right lol.
Author elmichi Posted October 31, 2013 Author Posted October 31, 2013 Well, he did text me today. He asked how my day was going and then he asked me to grab lunch with him! I told him that I would love to (trying to not sound disinterested haha) but that I couldn't cause I had class, clinic, and then work back to back but that maybe we could do something later or this weekend. He agreed this weekend sounded good and later we agreed on going apple picking this Saturday. He seemed like again he put a lot of thought into the date. Now, question.. when we reach the end of the next date..what should happen
Assasda Posted October 31, 2013 Posted October 31, 2013 Give him a hug.... If your're really bold, you can say "can I give you a kiss" And I think you'll get one. then... You can make fun of the awkward kiss you guys had the first time. If done right, that should be smooth 1
Author elmichi Posted October 31, 2013 Author Posted October 31, 2013 Maybe she should wax his car and clean his dorm room TOO, while she's at it? As someone else said, you've done enough trying to keep contact between you two, and someone who isn't even interested in kissing you isn't someone you need to continue chasing. You've put in the effort and he basically blew you off when you tried to kiss him. It sounds as though he sees you as someone he'll bring to his room and have fun with, but doesn't see you as a romantic prospect. STOP chasing him. I mean, did you read my post a little above? After he asked to go to lunch with me yesterday (I don't imply sex will be happening there or after) and asked what I wanted to do this weekend, I suggested a movie. To that he responded "Hmm I haven't looked at movies lately. So, this will sound really cheesy and feel free to say no but what would you say about going to blah blah for a corn maze/apple picking?"---I really don't think that sounds like he's just interested in getting me in bed. I'm not that experienced in dating, but suggesting a "cheesy" mid-day activity does not suggest not interested. I have NEVER initiated a text conversation once with this guy! I don't know where you guys are getting that I'm doing too much. Yes, I did suggest the 2nd date (after he showed interest), yes, I did try to kiss him, no I didn't text him after, and yes, he did text me back asking for another date. I mean, am I being naive or what? 1
GunsNRoses Posted October 31, 2013 Posted October 31, 2013 Girl you need to chill! If he's interested, and reasonably bold (which he seems), he's gonna make the moves for you. You do all that you can to not feel dejected when he doesn't do anything that you'd want him to. If you're plain bored and want to chat him up, maybe text him. Escalate it after that if you "feel" it going for you! Girls have it easy, you are the fairer sex. Cheers. Also, unless you want it, hold off of sex for a while yourself.
Author elmichi Posted October 31, 2013 Author Posted October 31, 2013 Girl you need to chill! If he's interested, and reasonably bold (which he seems), he's gonna make the moves for you. You do all that you can to not feel dejected when he doesn't do anything that you'd want him to. If you're plain bored and want to chat him up, maybe text him. Escalate it after that if you "feel" it going for you! Girls have it easy, you are the fairer sex. Cheers. Also, unless you want it, hold off of sex for a while yourself. Okay, fair enough. It's not that I wanted to kiss him so much, it's just I thought, why not? Also, I don't know if it matters, but I see people keep saying dorm room like we're college freshmen or something. He's 25. I'm 22 but will be 23 in 2 months.
Valen Posted October 31, 2013 Posted October 31, 2013 Fast forward: we went and got ice cream. I think it went well but of course me, being the queen of awkward date endings, went for a kiss in the car and ended up getting his cheek (and a longish/hard kiss-awkward)... ughhhh lol. I thought the hug/waiting for him to do something would be more awkward so I gave it a go. I think I just said "See ya later" after that but I don't remember since I was embarrassed lol. at least you had the guts to make a move. Props from me.
sabre80 Posted October 31, 2013 Posted October 31, 2013 Blow it or not, hats off to you elmichi for making a move. I love when a woman is bold.
GunsNRoses Posted October 31, 2013 Posted October 31, 2013 Okay, fair enough. It's not that I wanted to kiss him so much, it's just I thought, why not? Also, I don't know if it matters, but I see people keep saying dorm room like we're college freshmen or something. He's 25. I'm 22 but will be 23 in 2 months. You didn't do anything wrong, don't worry! Like others have said, it would be so exciting if my gf was bold like that. Enjoy your courtship with him. If he doesn't come a-knocking, someone else will. Meanwhile, you carry on with everything else in life like usual.
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