AnnaAnna Posted October 29, 2013 Posted October 29, 2013 Found this online a while ago and it really helped me a lot. 15. Make a clean break This might be the hardest one to follow, because it's really hard to completely let go of a person who was once such a huge part of your life out of it. However, you have to go cold turkey, because staying friends immediately after just doesn't work. You'll stay fixated on them, slip into old habits, and you'll constantly be on edge around them. 14. Avoid being alone After a breakup, everyone needs to think things through a little bit on their own, but it's important to make sure you're around people, preferably people you love or at least like, so cheer up and surround yourself with friends! 13. Be productive with your time You probably devoted hours of your day to your significant other, and dealing with that empty space in your schedule can be one of the most challenging things to do after a breakup. Instead of moping, you can try redirecting your energy to productive tasks, such as school, work or a hobby. 12. Delete their contact information Going along with the previous tip, take the effort to delete as much contact information of theirs as possible If a person keeps showing up in your phone book and your email addresses, you'll think of them every time you have to use those services. 11. Go to the gym Exercise is an excellent way of dealing with a tough time. For one thing, a good workout triggers the release of endorphins in your body, making you feel better on a chemical level. Additionally, working on yourself naturally improves your self-confidence, which helps with all of the image issues a breakup can create. Feel good, look good, and deal with some of the extra time - there's really no downside! 10. Change your surroundings This might seem off, but the more you change after a breakup, the better. Get new bedding, confiscate all of the old mementos from the relationship (or have a friend do that), switch up the feng shui of your apartment; change whatever you feel comfortable changing. 9. Don't try to rebound immediately We know a lot of people are probably telling you to get back out there, but that's just not the right thing to do for a while. Rebound relationships typically don't last long, and they frequently become complicating and confusing affairs that do more harm than good to your psyche. 8. Spoil yourself The world might keep spinning after a break-up, but that doesn't mean you should immediately try to keep up. Take it easy for a day or two; call in sick, catch a movie with a friend, and do things you love to do but normally don't get the chance to. Remember, your peace of mind is the most important thing on the planet, so use some time to just take care of yourself. 7. Pick up a new hobby Focusing some of your spare time onto taking up a new activity can deal with a lot of the problems of a break-up. It gets rid of some of your excess time, puts you in a situation to meet and relate to new groups of people, and can help stop and negative self-perceptions you have about yourself by actually making you an even more interesting person. 6. Don't hate yourself It's common to have plenty of negative feelings about the end of a relationship. You might feel guilty, unattractive, uninteresting, or all of the above. Don't let this get to your head: Relationships are tricky, and they don't always work out for plenty of reasons. 5. Talk to your best friends When you're at your most vulnerable, you'll need people to talk to who you aren't afraid of judging you. If your best friends aren't close by, Skype them in or give them a call; talking is one of the most cathartic activities you can engage in, and it's even better if that person knows you well. Even though your romantic relationship has ended, there are still people watching out for you! 4. Use a journal or a diary Sometimes, though, you just don't feel secure talking to anyone, but you still need to vent. That's okay, because that's what journalling is for - it lets you speak your mind and work through your troubles all by yourself. Just make an effort to write down the good things as well as the bad - that way, you'll start noticing more of the good parts of your life. 3. Deal with the pain in a healthy and responsible way As Kanye West once said: "The plan was, to drink until the pain was over. But what's worse, the pain or the hangover?" Truer words may have never been said: Don't go the easy route by doing things like drinking too much, because that doesn't help you deal with your emotions, and sometimes it might even make things worse. 2. Cry Don't feel ashamed about doing it - it's so much better to let it out than to repress those feelings. Find somewhere that you're comfortable, and just cry as much and as often as possible, especially in the first few days. It'll help you release the emotions and feel better faster, so you can get back to feeling awesome ASAP! 1. Don't rethink things Second-guessing the situation can make things much more painful. If you did the break-up, then you did it for a reason, so try remind yourself of that. If you got dumped, then it's only going to cause more pain to try and get them to change their mind. Accept the ending that occurred, and do what you can to be at peace with it. Don't despair-things will get better sooner than you think, but in the meantime, here's a big virtual hug from us to you. 3
Haydn Posted October 29, 2013 Posted October 29, 2013 Hi Anna, I am doing most of these things now. Apart from the gym! But i am finding that i would like new friends. I have deleted all social media. I blocked her along time ago on FB. We have a few mutual friends, who sadly i had to delete. At the moment i want no connections to her until i am out of this fog. The evenings are the hardest, twitchy finger time...... I spend a lot of time with my daughter. This helps massively. Ive never been a rebound person. It take me ages to get past the holding hand stage! But there has been some hope in the direction. My work is pretty hectic, deadlines, i put out a magazine every month so i cant get much time away. My work has been affected. Oh i cry most days. To myself. But yes i am following this as much as i can. I am waiting to turn the corner. Take care Anna. Haydn 1
Author AnnaAnna Posted October 29, 2013 Author Posted October 29, 2013 Hi Anna, I am doing most of these things now. Apart from the gym! But i am finding that i would like new friends. I have deleted all social media. I blocked her along time ago on FB. We have a few mutual friends, who sadly i had to delete. At the moment i want no connections to her until i am out of this fog. The evenings are the hardest, twitchy finger time...... I spend a lot of time with my daughter. This helps massively. Ive never been a rebound person. It take me ages to get past the holding hand stage! But there has been some hope in the direction. My work is pretty hectic, deadlines, i put out a magazine every month so i cant get much time away. My work has been affected. Oh i cry most days. To myself. But yes i am following this as much as i can. I am waiting to turn the corner. Take care Anna. Haydn Hey Haydn, glad to hear you're doing ok. I know you're still in pain but trust me, it will get better soon. I am not doing all of these things but I do most. I cannot cry, and I have tried so many times because I think it will help a lot. I don't know what's wrong with me. Maybe all this pain has just made me so numb to everything. Stay strong and keep moving
Haydn Posted October 29, 2013 Posted October 29, 2013 I dont think your numb Anna. You are trying to switch it off like all of us. We will keep going! Here`s a song for you. take care tonight. Haydn Typical by Frazier Chorus (1989) - YouTube 1
Author AnnaAnna Posted October 29, 2013 Author Posted October 29, 2013 I dont think your numb Anna. You are trying to switch it off like all of us. We will keep going! Here`s a song for you. take care tonight. Haydn Typical by Frazier Chorus (1989) - YouTube Thanks Haydn, I enjoyed it very much!
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