deepthinker123 Posted October 29, 2013 Posted October 29, 2013 Had a thought. Noticed every ex, they seem to dislike you. The ones that dump you cos you fked up, and get over you. The ones you dump, even when you let them down gently. Meet them 6 months or a year later by chance - you get cold, restrained hostility. What Im thinking goes on in the mind: They deliberately focus on all your negatives, to force you out of their feelings. So they can move on. Its an easy option isnt it? Does that make sense, anyone agree with that?
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted October 29, 2013 Posted October 29, 2013 Men have spent decades.....nay...centuries wondering such questions. To this day, man has not been able to tap into the inter workings of the womans mind. This mystery will go on till we're all dead and gone. 1
ayudorama Posted October 29, 2013 Posted October 29, 2013 I feel that with all things, this can vary from individual to individual. I can't speak from the dumper's POV, but having been recently dumped in a horrible way (bad timing, bad circumstances, hurtful words and blame exchanged), I am completely past all that "oh you've scarred me greatly, I'm going to be hostile to you the next time we meet out in the streets", nah. I'll say hi, smile/nod, and excuse myself. I feel like life is as complicated as we make it out to be, and there isn't a need to create antagonistic images in my mind of my ex just because things didn't turn out for us. I choose to forgive, and when one chooses that consciously, it's so so much easier to treat the people who have greatly wronged us, the same way we'd treat a random stranger out in the streets. Perhaps I'm the anomaly. Hur hur.
barky2 Posted October 29, 2013 Posted October 29, 2013 My Old man once said "Son,they're just a different breed" Barky 2
aybc123 Posted October 29, 2013 Posted October 29, 2013 I feel that with all things, this can vary from individual to individual. I can't speak from the dumper's POV, but having been recently dumped in a horrible way (bad timing, bad circumstances, hurtful words and blame exchanged), I am completely past all that "oh you've scarred me greatly, I'm going to be hostile to you the next time we meet out in the streets", nah. I'll say hi, smile/nod, and excuse myself. I feel like life is as complicated as we make it out to be, and there isn't a need to create antagonistic images in my mind of my ex just because things didn't turn out for us. I choose to forgive, and when one chooses that consciously, it's so so much easier to treat the people who have greatly wronged us, the same way we'd treat a random stranger out in the streets. Perhaps I'm the anomaly. Hur hur. Nope I agree, infact i think hating an ex or being angry with them is actually a sign that you haven't moved on. There are exceptions obviously, if someone abused you physically or emotionally or cheated serially or with a single person for a long time behind your back or did a whole bunch of hurtful things not only during the breakup but during the relationship then yes, disliking the person forever is probably natural. But for most people this isnt the case, yes everyone hurts someone they care about in a relationship sometimes, and yes dumpers can be oblivious to the feelings of dumpees because they dont share those feelings and be hurtful in that way but these aren't unforgivable acts and the natural reaction is to forgive them and move on eventually. Basically the opposite of love isn't hate, love and hate are very close, loves opposite is ambivalence, and if you still hate or seriously dislike an ex i dont think you have truly moved on. You only know you've moved on when you nothing them. 1
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