Need to share

[guitarguynz]

Hey guys,

 

This isn't my style normally (posting on forums and sharing my feelings with everyone on the internet) however I've recently gotten out of a long term relationship and I'm in serious need of advice. I've done hours of reading but I just can't seem to feel anything or think of anyone else but her. It's only been 6 weeks but surely to god I shouldn't be still feeling like crawling into a hole and dying. I've been writing a blog, which is far away from my social circle and detached from everyone I know, hence why I'm also posting here. I made a personal decision to not share it with anyone, however after a couple of beers I just need to get it out.

 

Breakup Blog

 

Any / all advice would be greatly appreciated.

 

Cheers,

Me.

[Shashasha]

How old are you? Just read one of your posts on your blog. 6 weeks is not long btw, i am almost 6 months into my breakup and i still think of him everyday. Your gf sounds like a waste of time to me - yes, it hurts and will ontinye to. It will get worse before it gets better. You need to focus on your exams now - do you really want to fail and retake another year because of something that has failed and clearly not worth it? You need to be strong - see things for what it is and remove all sorts ofcontact with her. Delete EVERYTHING. Take a day at a time and remember to love yourself. It will get better!!!

[guitarguynz]

I'm 21 as of this week, which was also ruined if I'm to be honest lol. I've done most of that, just struggling more than usual tonight I guess.

[Shashasha]

Yes - you will find like everything is ruined for now. That's natural , you are going through a breakup and it is NEVER easy. You have to keep telling yourself you will be okie, think positively and focus on you exams. 5 yrs down the road, this will be somethig of the past. Somedays will be easier, somedays tougher. hang in there an update us! We are all here to help yoy

[guitarguynz]

I guess I'm just lonely.. I found out that she'd been sleeping with a couple of people as little as two weeks after we broke up, yet I still made myself look like an idiot and pleaded with her to come back. I know I need to focus on myself. I'm realllllllly not a coldplay fan however the quote "Nobody said it was easy, but no body said it would be so hard" seems to be relevant. I know I'm not breaking the mould with the way I'm feeling and 99% of the worlds population will experience this at least once. It's just hard because I've only ever been with her (and her me.. well, as of a couple of months ago..) she's all I've ever known. After shifting countries at a young age I met her and we fell in love, then 5 years down the line she tells me that we can't be together anymore and she's been thinking of it for a couple of years.

[Shashasha]

Yeah, its normal to feel lonely after a breakup. My goodness - your ex is totally someone wjo doesnt love you! Cant you see that? I know you have been with her for 5 years, but see her for what she really is. Even if you got her back today, would you want to be with someone eho has been sleeping about? Keep telling this to yourself and focus in your exams

NOW - she s a complete waste of time. Tight now, your exams are more important than the hurt you feel. You have to put that aside for now and help yourself out of this. It will help in the long run.

[guitarguynz]

She tells me that she does love me, that she still cares for me and that I'm still her best friend and can't understand why we can't still be friends, it's almost like she wants her cake, and too eat it. Thanks for your help

[Shashasha]

She tells me that she does love me, that she still cares for me and that I'm still her best friend and can't understand why we can't still be friends, it's almost like she wants her cake, and too eat it. Thanks for your help

 

You wouldnt want to be friends with someone you love - that never works out in the long run. And no, she doesnt love you - if she did, she wouldnt have slept around within a few weeks. Oh, no worries! do your best for the exams!

[MoooOinkBaaa]

I read all your posts on that blog. Let's change the equation around a little. Let's say your girlfriend didn't break-up with you.

 

Your head isn't spinning, she hasn't broken your heart. You're not an emotional wreck. It's back to the start like the cold play song. You're still together.

 

Now imagine she did all that stuff. How would you feel then? I see you're starting to realize she isn't who she says she is. What do you think came first the break-up or this new her?

 

You've got to stop giving her anymore of your energy. If she did this without breaking up you wouldn't be so love blinded right now. Those blinders are on real tight.

 

I can't believe she broke-up with you and then messed you around by making out and sleeping with you. It's been seven weeks since my own break-up of seven years. Yours sounds a little like mine. We were meant to move in together this year, funny how it happens around a commitment.

 

She changed too and I wish she would of told me seven years ago that she would wake up one day and change completely who she is.

 

My advice to you is STOP giving her an ego boost. Kill her ego. Knock her off her pedestal because she has no choice but to look down on you from up there. It does no good talking to her, why should we talk someone into loving us.

 

Let her miss you on her own, don't be her emotional tampon. My ex said a lot of the things yours did, not wanting to be in a relationship, finding herself etc. It's all BS, I read her Twitter and it's all BS. If they really loved us they would make room for us.

 

You just don't dump something you love.

 

So don't contact her, let her truly be without you. Your ex is on an ego ride right now, that's why she's doing what she's doing. She wants to be the one in control, she wants to be the one who's alive.

 

Well take back some control by not letting her have anything to do with you. Ever again. Right this is what she is thinking.

 

https://twitter.com/Manstagram_/status/394977490814664704/photo/1/large

 

Don't believe me? That came from my ex's twitter. Still don't believe me? She told me all the same crap your ex did, I felt the same way you do.

 

Kick her off that pedestal man! Because you're awesome and there is NOTHING wrong with you. She has to find someone equal or better than you. You do too right? You're on dating websites worrying about it. Because you don't see the light at the end of the tunnel. Because she's put herself so far out of reach for you. Do the same man. Take yourself out of her life, don't let her think she can just go back to you if things don't work out. It's easier for them, they have nothing to lose! If nothing works out and they get lonely, straight back to you. We don't have that option and that's one of the reasons why we are an emotional wreck right now.

 

Time to live my friend, without her. Living alone and wandering about what your loved one is doing is scary huh, and it's not fair is it. That's why she can't stop contacting you, because she feels the same.

 

Well keep her there.

 

Let her know what that feels like by NOT giving her anymore of you. She knows how you feel so why continue trying to convince her? Because you can't believe this would ever happen? If you continue to let her contact you and she finds out she doesn't have to worry about what you're doing because she has SO MUCH power over you, she has an easy ride.

 

You look like a lost puppy dog in that blog. Never show her it, it would be a complete ego boost to her, and again she gets to look down to you.

 

She broke your heart, time to start acting like it.

 

It makes me angry this person might cause you to fail exams. Please don't let her. Good luck with the weight goals too. At least you have a goal to work on yourself, if you spend all this negative energy and turn it into positive you will do well. That will come when you realize you've been duped and the anger kicks in. It's more fun using negative energy when your'e angry than when you're sad. Kill the cigs man and the booze and the caffeine, get rid of all that crap, you've already got the love drug to kick you don't need tons of other drugs.

Edited October 29, 2013 by MoooOinkBaaa

[bubbaganoosh]

There's an old saying. "Time heals all wounds". Honest to God it's true. Your hurting now but very soon you'll hurt a bit less, then the hurt will decrease a little more. Just do one thing. If you want to get over it then you can't keep going back for a midnight run because all that does is set you back to square one. In other words, don't look back. Eyes forward and look ahead.

[Chi townD]

This is from your blog:

 

"So it was my 21st yesterday, and to be honest it felt like just another day - except worse. She texted me, even though I'd asked her not to, one thing led to another and before I knew it I was on my way to see her. I lied to family about where I was going, which I don't like doing. We had sex 3 times, and it was pretty ****ing excellent. I then found out that since we'd broken up she'd been seeing other people to try and fill a void. She's been talking to about 5 people, and has slept with 2 - This is so ****ing soon. The notifications / texts at the beach have finally come to light to being a dating site that she was using. She'd been sleeping with one of her friends after we broke up 10+ times, and another guy 3 or 4 times. I don't know how to feel. She tells me that every time she was thinking of me, but it's still ****ed up. She tells me that she needs security and someone that has sorted their **** out, can look after her financially and take care of her, which is why she's been sleeping with a 28 year old."

 

 

Okay, so let me see if I got the math right. Slept with two dudes off a dating site. That's 2. Slept with one of her friends right after the break up no less than 10 times. That's number three. She also slept with one dude no less than 3 or 4 times. That's number 4. THEN! She's sleeping with a 28 year old. That's number 5.

 

THAT'S 5 DUDES IN THE SPAN OF TWO MONTHS ON MULTIPLE OCCASSIONS!!!!!! And if you want to go even further. Include yourself and you are the 6th guy in two months.

 

 

Dude, run! Run far! Stay away from this girl. How can you have respect for a girl that clearly doesn't have respect for herself or her body. You are not her friend. I'm pretty sure you didn't get into a loving and caring relationship with her for the ultimate outcome is that you are nothing more than a friend to her.

 

Dude, block her on Facebook and change your number. Do it now. If she wants to self destruct; then, that's her business. But, remember, she made a choice to have you out of her life. You need to give her exactly that.

 

It's time to heal and move on, dude.

[MoooOinkBaaa]

Yep it's crazy he deserves way better than that.