maiden555 Posted November 4, 2013 Posted November 4, 2013 I joined a gym during the worst of my breakup. The first day, I was so angry I couldn't even exercise for more than a few minutes. My heartbeat was out of control. But I kept going. I framed my way of thinking so that the gym became "my happy place". It's where I focused only on me. My gym happens to have cute guys there too, and it's fun to know they're checking me out. Nothing like a good ego boost when you're down. I lost about 10 lbs (paired with diet changes). I got really into marking my progress and it did WONDERS for my sense of accomplishment and pride, as well as giving me a purpose. I also took a weekly writing class. I'm going through a different breakup now and am on the lookout for hobbies, like others have suggested.
RightThere Posted November 4, 2013 Posted November 4, 2013 Find a beginners yoga class. So relaxing and usually always women in there.
ponchsox Posted November 4, 2013 Posted November 4, 2013 Work out, run, do something that releases endorphins so you feel great when you get home and get a good night's sleep.
Lokie Posted November 4, 2013 Posted November 4, 2013 OP, I'm sorry you're going through this. As someone else mentioned, time really is the only healer. But it's kind of like having a bad cold, you need to ride it out, but you can take all sorts of things to make you more comfortable. That's what I hear you asking about. I agree with books on relationship endings and Buddhism. For me, it was like a warm hug, knowing that I was not in this alone and that I will survive… at some point. Also, very strongly agree with the other poster about turning off your phone and putting it out of sight. I was more vulnerable at night as I was tired, etc. It's amazing how much your outlook can change after some sleep. I also found a lot of solace in bookstores - big ones like Barnes & Noble, if you have one nearby. They're typically open late and you can peruse all sorts of subjects and still be out among people, yet not having to interact and fake being cheery. My friends laugh, but I often say that "Law & Order: Criminal Intent" saved my life. I watched hour after hour of this show when I could do nothing else. It kept my mind occupied and distracted. There is nothing shameful about some good old fashioned TV binging, especially with Netflix Streaming. Your body will let you know when it's enough and it's time to go outside. Hang in there!
Author Chris715 Posted November 5, 2013 Author Posted November 5, 2013 Thanks for the continuum of responses you guys. I'm doing a little bit better most nights. The weather where I live hasn't been cooperating lately at night (lots of rain and snow) so haven't gotten a chance to start running yet, but some time this week I'm going to start. Also going to make a list of everyone's suggestions and try everything out until I find something that really works. It's been nearly a year since my break up and like 2 months of NC, so it's about time I start to get control of this thing.
coffeeloverx Posted November 5, 2013 Posted November 5, 2013 I binged watched a lot of netflix and ate a lot of ice cream. 1
Author Chris715 Posted November 5, 2013 Author Posted November 5, 2013 Having one of those nights Got off work at 9:30 and went home. Now I'm in my room just thinking about her, thinking about how badly I messed up our relationship and all the mistakes I made in the break up. It's been a whole year since the break up and sometimes I feel like I'm back on day 1. Granted, I've done a terrible time at NC but that doesn't help me to feel any less pathetic about the fact that I haven't moved on. Over the time span I've asked out a total of 1 girl on nothing more than a casual coffee outing, and I was politely declined. My confidence has been at pretty much rock bottom since the BU and I think that's one of the biggest problems still plaguing me. Gotta find some way to get past this. Just typing out my thoughts I guess... Not much else I want to do at this time of night.
flight E Posted November 5, 2013 Posted November 5, 2013 U will get by. Two days ago was seriously in d dumps. Lost a cousin and the sorrow brought my ex to mind couldn't work on monday but much better today. About 37 day nc now and I know I will never reach out to her. It hurts but losing my manhood would hurt more. That's how I view contactin her; its emasculating
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