Chris715 Posted October 29, 2013 Posted October 29, 2013 Lately my days have been OK. I've been trying to keep busy with work and school, leaving little time to think about my ex, my depression, anxiety, etc. Problem is I get home for the night, I sit around, and I have time to think. My depression is worse at night, all the memories, the anger, the pain come back. I find myself sitting here looking at my phone, waiting for a text from her that I know will never come. Really need some help with this because at night I feel like I've made zero progress with any of this, and my depression is worse than ever. Anyone else have problems like this? What do you guys do at night to keep yourselves occupied? I couldn't sleep right now even if I wanted too and I've tried the typical stuff (tv, movies, video games) but none of it helps. 1
TylerDurdenn Posted October 29, 2013 Posted October 29, 2013 I go to the gym, work out hard then come home and sleep 3
SilverlinedCloud Posted October 29, 2013 Posted October 29, 2013 Just like you my days have been okay, but whereas i do not work the same hours every week i have to make an effort to not lounge around in my PJ's or pull the covers over my head n keep he blinds closed. I go for walks at night, put my earphones in and just walk. I just couldnt stand to be in my apartment, especially where so many memories of us were made and lost. 2
mendsley Posted October 29, 2013 Posted October 29, 2013 (edited) I have the same issue. I workout in the morning, but if I start thinking about my ex too much at night I go for a run. It amazes me how I instantly feel better. Give it a try :-) Make sure to put on some music that is not associated with your ex. I never listened to electronic music, but I really enjoy it when I run. I was the worse when it came to looking at my phone. I finally got tired of feeling weak and addicted to waiting for "the text" I decided to turn my phone off and put that s**t in my drawer every night and force myself to not worry about it until the morning. Try to give yourself goals/milestones to work towards. Consider this emotional rehab, just sitting around pining will not allow you to heal. Its work, but work only improves the experience. Edited October 29, 2013 by mendsley 3
Author Chris715 Posted October 30, 2013 Author Posted October 30, 2013 (edited) Thanks for the responses you guys. Being a nearly broke college student I don't have enough money for a gym membership at the moment. Going for walks or running at night seem like good, cheap options right now... Now I guess I need to start doing it and make a habit of it. Anything to get my mind off of her, and I have wanted to get more exercise recently after canceling my gym membership last summer, so two birds with one stone. Edited October 30, 2013 by Chris715 1
Reels Posted October 30, 2013 Posted October 30, 2013 Think what had happened, i would build up false hopes about my ex, it will always make me sleep.
Simon Phoenix Posted October 30, 2013 Posted October 30, 2013 Thanks for the responses you guys. Being a nearly broke college student I don't have enough money for a gym membership at the moment. Going for walks or running at night seem like good, cheap options right now... Now I guess I need to start doing it and make a habit of it. Anything to get my mind off of her, and I have wanted to get more exercise recently after canceling my gym membership last summer, so two birds with one stone. Don't they have gyms at your university for students?
Author Chris715 Posted October 30, 2013 Author Posted October 30, 2013 They do but it costs extra... My university is pretty stingy
JustaRegularGuyZ Posted October 30, 2013 Posted October 30, 2013 I work out for an hour and a half Go on Facebook and chat with girls and friends , taking it slow Watch some shows: Family Guy, South Park, Walking Dead Go on Loveshack's Coping sections and write at the top post I listen to my music and write down Erotica, thoughts, and feelings I am pretty happy
ayudorama Posted October 30, 2013 Posted October 30, 2013 I read, or watch the telly. But these days I've been seeking God more. And that's helped me a lot with the healing. For me when I was still in the process of healing, the worst were the mornings. Because my ex and I had this thing about spending our mornings together - breakfast, or I'd wake up to his good morning texts. So when I wake up, the pain strikes me the hardest. I manage that with tons and tons of prayer. But then again, looking towards spirituality may not work for everyone. Hang in there mate, ride the waves, it'll get better, I promise it will.
AnyaNova Posted October 30, 2013 Posted October 30, 2013 Thanks for the responses you guys. Being a nearly broke college student I don't have enough money for a gym membership at the moment. Going for walks or running at night seem like good, cheap options right now... Now I guess I need to start doing it and make a habit of it. Anything to get my mind off of her, and I have wanted to get more exercise recently after canceling my gym membership last summer, so two birds with one stone. Word to the wise, if you are a college student, full time, you have probably already paid a membership to your college's rec center. If you are part time, you probably will only have to pay a small fee. Probably very worth it.
todreaminblue Posted October 30, 2013 Posted October 30, 2013 (edited) nights arent too bad fro em i walk if i dont i post on here till i get squiggles in front of my eyes...i really do need to see about glasses...... walking is a two fold process for me...one appreciating the little things i see on night walks.....night flowers scent, the smell of the bay at high tide is nice, low tide sucks smells really bad....like a girls locker room on steroids......so the walking aids depression to fade......sadness with me.....seems to disappear with the sounds of water.....deep water even better..still waters run deep and sound delish........praying helps..especially when it i snear water...it echos back up the stars above........what else...oh.....i reclaim my night...i was raped at night.....which sort ofsucks because it was when i find the most peace....no people or limited,just me and water which is where i got raped near th ewater....so i combat depressive thoughts with that by reclaiming th enight and my water ....i think god is looking after me because i know its a risk...i used to take many more...night swimming in known shark waters etc....now i just walk at night....i have to take my nghts back..i cant run scared .....and have attackers away fro me the only enjoyment and peaceful place i ever want to be.....so i get angry and i walk it.......and then the peace is awesome........depression is killer, nights can be difficult i have always walked at night...and i always gravitate to where there is water..i have alot fo sadness in me....i know how it feels.......deb Edited October 30, 2013 by todreaminblue
mammasita Posted October 30, 2013 Posted October 30, 2013 I found books to read (kindle), watched TV series to bury myself in (Fringe, Game of Thrones), walked my dogs, looked up things I could build/make/fix......
Sweet108 Posted October 31, 2013 Posted October 31, 2013 If you're a college student the library is free, plus it is a chance to get out and be among people instead of at your place sulking. I have been throwing myself into academia. Studying is my escape, so is exercise. Just do it.
bedelgeuse Posted October 31, 2013 Posted October 31, 2013 (edited) Night is the hardest, that is when I shared most of my time with my exgf. Best thing is to pursue a hobby or passion you can dive into at night- I create artwork, and music. The hours fly by. Also, working out has been one of the best ways to relieve some of the mind f**k There are plenty of workouts where you can find videos online that require no equipment. If you are not active already, then you owe it to yourself to get the healthiest body you've ever had. Do it for yourself, but it will certainly benefit anyone that chooses to love you in the future! I'm only 13 days NC so I am deep in it, but working out at has been my daily release. Trust me I am right there, but if you can make it so you think about them a few hours less a day, then you are making progress! Edited October 31, 2013 by bedelgeuse word edit 1
lindsay1990 Posted October 31, 2013 Posted October 31, 2013 I internet and ruminate and go in circles in my mind. HOWEVER I have been healing anyway (I think) so that goes to show you that there is no substitute for Time. No matter how proactive you are initially, only Time can cure a lot of it, so I guess if anybody reads this in the early stages: just wait it out.
Author Chris715 Posted October 31, 2013 Author Posted October 31, 2013 I internet and ruminate and go in circles in my mind. HOWEVER I have been healing anyway (I think) so that goes to show you that there is no substitute for Time. No matter how proactive you are initially, only Time can cure a lot of it, so I guess if anybody reads this in the early stages: just wait it out. That's been my problem. I go home at night, stay in my room, remember things about her, and then the vicious cycle of pain and depression starts again. And it's been almost 11 months since we've broken up and I've broken NC too many times to count, so I'm in anything but the early stages. I definitely need to get out of my house at night. Like a lot of people here advised I'm going to try to take up running at night and maybe look into a gym.
NoLeafClover Posted October 31, 2013 Posted October 31, 2013 What do you guys do at night? Rub one out 3
Mr Scorpio Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 Study. But when I was coping the breakup? Reading. I would read books about history, self-help and coping with loss, Buddhism and eliminating attachment, basketball, whatever. It is much harder for that nagging voice in the back of your mind to affect you when you're focused on the words on the page. 1
Lost_Dragon Posted November 2, 2013 Posted November 2, 2013 I work at night. Usually exhausted afterwards. If not then I do whatever is fun and allows me to free my thoughts. Video games, Art, Music, Time with friends and family, etc. Working out and keeping fit will boost your self esteem. The worst thing is putting yourself in the position where you feel like you are fighting the feelings. The more you fight them the more they stay the same. Free your mind from those chains.
theothersully Posted November 2, 2013 Posted November 2, 2013 You are at a university?? Why not go out to some huge parties, bars, etc... and find 3 or 4 new girls to talk to?? Your odds are pretty good, since the female to male ratio, at least in the usa was 60/40 even back when I was in school. Now, I think even less bros are around. There is nothing better for getting a girl off your mind than having a new one to think about. Go out and have some fun at night. 1
theothersully Posted November 2, 2013 Posted November 2, 2013 You are at a university?? Why not go out to some huge parties, bars, etc... and find 3 or 4 new girls to talk to?? Your odds are pretty good, since the female to male ratio, at least in the usa was 60/40 even back when I was in school. Now, I think even less bros are around. There is nothing better for getting a girl off your mind than having a new one to think about. Go out and have some fun at night. And it's Saturday. No time like the present to round up some friends and go! 1
flight E Posted November 4, 2013 Posted November 4, 2013 Let urself feel the pain you will heal faster
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