Fmrbrknhrt22 Posted October 29, 2013 Posted October 29, 2013 Hi everyone, I guess I'm just laying in my room feeling bad right now. I've been seeing this great girl for two months now. She has everything I'm looking for: intelligence, humbleness, sensitive and caring, comes from a good family, athletic, bilingual and certainly attractive. I guess where I'm having a hard time is her lack of experience in both the dating world and also that she is coming on very strong. She's never had a bf or even kissed a guy prior to me and she's 25 and I'm 26. After one month of dating, she told me she was falling in love with me. I told her it was too soon and she started crying and was really upset. It seems like every week she does something sweet for me though. Last week, she baked me cookies and bought me soup when I was sick. For our two month anniversary, she got me a card saying how lucky she was to have me and then bought me my halloween costume that I never even asked for. It's all wonderful, but at the same time I'm overwhelmed because I've never had a girl treat me so well after two months and have so much interest in a relationship. There's a part of me that really does feel a connection with this girl and see a future with her, but then a part of me just feels scared to commit long term at my age right now and that things are happening very fast. She is also very sensitive so I feel when I do try and have chats with her about this, she starts questioning me on if I am into her as much as she is into me and while I do like her and see a lot of great qualities in her, I certainly am nowhere near ready to start using the L word around each other. Any advice? Thanks you guys, LS has always been a great resource.
Assasda Posted October 29, 2013 Posted October 29, 2013 I have the same thing currently. Never say "love" unless you mean it. I tell you what, she'll respect you for. You seem to be doing ok. Just let her know that you appreciate her. And try to make as many jokes out of her questions as you can.
theediblewoman Posted October 29, 2013 Posted October 29, 2013 I'd say if she's not experienced don't take the whole love thing too seriously, it's likely she just hasn't been as infatuated with someone as with you and is calling it love. Tell her it's really nice,but that for you it takes longer to say these things,but that you care about her a lot (if you mean it!). What I say to you is appreciate the crap out of this girl and all the nice things she's doing, but let her know that you'd care for her even if she didn't. I kind of had this problem with my boyfriend when we first started dating, he's 31 and I'm 25, I've been in a few long term relationships and he hasn't really. In the beginning while I felt a really good connection with him I kind of felt like he held me on a pedestal and it was too much at times, you want to feel on the same level as the person you're dating not like anyone's better than the other. I just would thank him for all the nice things he did,but also encourage him to tease me, call me on my crap and speak his mind when I did something that bothered him. I'd say things are more balanced now, we're 10months in and he's more comfortable and less overwhelming/overbearing to me. Bottom line, she's excited, she cares about you and this is all new, most likely it'll settle. I guess the other thing to question is if you're on the same page in regards to the type of relationship you're looking for.
heartshaped Posted October 29, 2013 Posted October 29, 2013 Sounds like you have commitment issues more than anything else. If you aren't ready to commit, you need to let her go. Her behavior sounds like normal girlfriend behavior imo, but then again, I don't know what type of women you usually date.
PogoStick Posted October 29, 2013 Posted October 29, 2013 Just say exactly how you feel and be upfront. Don't say Love if you don't feel it yet. Say you like her but your feelings take time to grow. Tell her if you are uncomfortable with the gifts and you want her to slow it down. Just don't soften things because of how she reacts. She should respect your feelings too. I dated a Chinese woman once and she was way overboard, showing up unannounced with $100 in groceries, not even knowing if I liked what she brought. Got a new comforter for my bed. Bought me a $200+ Columbia winter coat when I had just bought my own new one that winter. I made her take it back which she complained about. Ironically, mine got slashed wide open by a branch when skiing on a tree run just a month later!
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