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Girls Flaking Between 0-2 Dates


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Posted

I've been going on a bunch of dates recently and all of the girls disappear after 1-2 dates, and some of them go AWOL after I initially meet them and get a phone number but before I can make arrangements to see them again. This pattern holds regardless of where I meet them; I've met girls out and about during the day, online, speed dating, at social events. Vast majority of these girls are appropriate matches.

 

When I go on dates it's usually something simple; bowling, walk in the park, coffee, ect. I'm going to guess that the girls would say I was fine, but they didn't feel a "spark"; I can't be sure of this though. This is frustrating for me because I'm attracted to the girls, want to see them again, and don't even get a chance to develop any type of relationship. If these women are expecting romance on Sunday afternoon for a coffee date, their expectations are completely out of line.

 

The pattern of rejection has me feeling down; men are supposed to be able to attract women, but I'm currently not really doing this.

 

How can I get past my sticking point?

Posted

Well, how do you approach them on dates?? What do you wear?

What questions do you ask them?

  • Author
Posted
Well, how do you approach them on dates??

 

With an akward hug and a "nice to meet you!"

 

 

What do you wear?

 

I wear nice clothes.

 

What questions do you ask them?

 

I stick to sex, religion and politics, hahaha. Mostly I try to ask about themselves and get to know them.

  • Author
Posted
I said it before and I'll say it again: the only reliable way to meet a long term partner in the US is through work, school, or friends.

 

Why is that? For some people, this is not realistic. What if you're out of school, don't meet datable women at work and you're social circle is couples or women that aren't interested in you?

Posted

stop looking for a relationship... shows that you are easy/no challenge

 

date around, multidate, dont be outcome dependent in the dating world... just go with the flow

  • Like 1
Posted
I said it before and I'll say it again: the only reliable way to meet a long term partner in the US is through work, school, or friends.

 

This is not true at all.

 

How can I get past my sticking point?

 

Keep doing what you are doing. You just haven't met the right person for you. It's not uncommon to have to go on a lot of first dates until you find someone you click with. If you aren't making it even past a first date, you might be doing something "wrong" on the date. What are you wearing, do you smell good, are you a good conversationalist, etc.?

  • Like 1
Posted

Yes, I went AWOL on some guys after date without chemistry. Sucks that chemistry doesn't always work both ways, but unfortunately that's the way it goes.

 

You should write those girls off and move on.

Posted
I said it before and I'll say it again: the only reliable way to meet a long term partner in the US is through work, school, or friends.

 

If you meet these women anywhere else (bars, speed dating, OLD), they are looking for sex. Some (VERY few) may not be, but most of the others that say they are are just lying.

 

Don't believe me? Push for sex more often and see if your results change (even if they don't have sex with you, they will see you again). Go and try it.

 

I don't agree at all with you.

Posted

My suggestion would just to be social for now and make new friends. Have some female friends and not even try to date them. Maybe then you can get some feedback from them about different aspects of your persoanlity/etc. Maybe you are coming across as needy/clingy/etc?? Do you maybe talk about yourself too much? Come across as a show off?

Posted

It sounds like you are getting dates but when they get to know you, decide you are not for them. It happens. There are no guarantees. You are doing better than most of the men on this forum. Look at them as practice.

Posted

If you meet these women anywhere else (bars, speed dating, OLD), they are looking for sex. Some (VERY few) may not be, but most of the others that say they are are just lying.

 

This is not even remotely true. If you really want to talk about who lies on OLD it's the GUYS who say or write that they want real relationships and then either one pump dump, or wind up pulling a ghost move if the girl is too hard to get into bed.

Posted
I said it before and I'll say it again: the only reliable way to meet a long term partner in the US is through work, school, or friends.

 

If you meet these women anywhere else (bars, speed dating, OLD), they are looking for sex. Some (VERY few) may not be, but most of the others that say they are are just lying.

 

Don't believe me? Push for sex more often and see if your results change (even if they don't have sex with you, they will see you again). Go and try it.

 

 

There is a great deal of truth to this. Women, under a certain age, about 25, are just as desirous of sex with a variety of partners as men of that age. Women will justify it in other ways that make them not look like sluts. It is a double standard I know but it is true.

 

 

They will be "in love" with whoever makes them horny at that moment.

 

 

My experience has been being that person who makes the woman horny but who isn't the boyfriend.

  • Like 2
Posted

I think there is SOME truth to the OLD arguments expressed here. I've been experimenting with OLD for about 6 months now and have met a mixture of 'normal' girls and then the weird flaky ones. Unfortunately it's been more of the latter. BUT believe it or not there are some decent people on there. Maybe like 1 in 50 girls... I've had way better success with the paid sites rather than the free ones like OKCupid. Horrible dating site.

 

The most unfortunate thing about OLD is the amount of men that come onto the girls on there. It can be nearly impossible to get a girls attention for more than a week before someone new and shiny comes along.

  • Like 1
Posted
I've been going on a bunch of dates recently and all of the girls disappear after 1-2 dates, and some of them go AWOL after I initially meet them and get a phone number but before I can make arrangements to see them again. This pattern holds regardless of where I meet them; I've met girls out and about during the day, online, speed dating, at social events. Vast majority of these girls are appropriate matches.

 

When I go on dates it's usually something simple; bowling, walk in the park, coffee, ect. I'm going to guess that the girls would say I was fine, but they didn't feel a "spark"; I can't be sure of this though. This is frustrating for me because I'm attracted to the girls, want to see them again, and don't even get a chance to develop any type of relationship. If these women are expecting romance on Sunday afternoon for a coffee date, their expectations are completely out of line.

 

The pattern of rejection has me feeling down; men are supposed to be able to attract women, but I'm currently not really doing this.

 

How can I get past my sticking point?

 

The thing you need to understand about these women is the entertainment factor a man must possess in order to keep them keen. Once you begin to bore any female or even give off the idea that you may bore them, they're out of your life; this includes sex and how you make them feel as well.

 

This is one of the main reasons the bad boy does well with the women is because he's always interesting to them, no matter his abuse or infidelity.

 

Women only leave the so-called bad boy because she has gotten enough of their abuse, lies, or lack of settling down, so-to-speak, but the way the bad boy entertains her and keeps her guessing will always be a thrill to a woman, no matter the age, lifestyle, or career she attains, which is why women often times than not return to the same type of man yet again.

 

Lesson learned, tried, and proven.

  • Like 3
Posted
If you meet these girls online its the nature of the game

 

At least you'r meeting lots & lots of girls :(.

Posted
The thing you need to understand about these women is the entertainment factor a man must possess in order to keep them keen. Once you begin to bore any female or even give off the idea that you may bore them, they're out of your life; this includes sex and how you make them feel as well.

 

This is one of the main reasons the bad boy does well with the women is because he's always interesting to them, no matter his abuse or infidelity.

 

Women only leave the so-called bad boy because she has gotten enough of their abuse, lies, or lack of settling down, so-to-speak, but the way the bad boy entertains her and keeps her guessing will always be a thrill to a woman, no matter the age, lifestyle, or career she attains, which is why women often times than not return to the same type of man yet again.

 

Lesson learned, tried, and proven.

 

 

I cannot agree with this more.

 

 

I am for all intents and purposes a transgender woman. Even when I try to look like a man just by my nature I look feminine. Yet, when it comes to my interactions with women, I am much more the bad boy than the nice guy.

 

 

1.)I lost my virginity to a girl first when I was about 13. She was in a english as a second language class and I never said a word. It started with us playing grab ass in the hallway and went from there. That is in spite of the fact that almost at the same time I did the same thing with a early blooming guy.

 

 

Then I had what is supposed to be every guys dream happen in high school. I had sex with the one cute female teacher. As abusive as one of my boyfriends was during high school... a punch in the face from him wasn't as bad as the psychological damage that female did.

 

 

I am damaged.

 

 

2.) I am probably a biological father to the child of a tomboyish woman I met when I was in college. We dated on and off. We did it when she was about to marry another man. The baby was born, and the wedding was off. He's almost 11 years old and I have never been able to do a thing for him.

 

 

Meanwhile, a truly nice man, who has no kids, and who had bad luck with women, is now raising a child who may well be my son as his.

 

 

I am a deadbeat, tell women this, and their reaction more often than not when hearing the whole story and seeing all the data is that the baby moma is a *itch.

 

 

I am a deadbeat with baggage.

 

 

3.) I am a challenge. Did I forget to mention I am transgender, find men physically and psychologically attractive and easy to get and have seriously considered a full sex change? I mean really seriously, I even live as a woman, or at most masculine, a very feminine man.

 

 

That should repulse most women, they will say it does.

 

 

Then I see them checking out my ass in my tight jeans and they jump me when no one is looking.

 

 

 

 

How does that relate to girls flaking OP? Here is how. I have dated both men and women and to the greatest extent someone can experienced both gender roles in dating there is one great truth.

 

 

In many important ways men and women are exactly alike with one difference. Women are less likely to just say what they want.

 

 

Women will flake out on a date thinking it will make you more into them.

 

 

Women will flake out on a date in hopes you will go away.

 

 

Women will tell you not to contact them ever again and call police if you do.

Women will tell you not to contact them ever again and then call you, then hang up, or concoct a reason for you to come around.

 

 

Women will react the way this video shows..... In both ways, towards the same man/men depending on the week of the moth.

 

 

The one thing that makes men and women different is that men are much more consistent over time than women are. That is why women flake on dates, run out on weddings, and are more likely to file for divorce. It is a woman's prerogative to change her mind.

 

 

I don't say that out of hatred for women. Hell as I said in this posting I seriously identify with them to a great degree. I know what jerks men can be.

 

 

Ladies, one sister to another, ya'll crazy.

  • Like 3
Posted

The one thing that makes men and women different is that men are much more consistent over time than women are. That is why women flake on dates, run out on weddings, and are more likely to file for divorce. It is a woman's prerogative to change her mind.

 

Stop making it sound like it's only a woman's thing. Guys are just as allowed to change their mind as women.

 

Yes, I flaked on a few guys after a nice meeting when someone I thought was better/hotter etc. came along. Or I was plainly no longer feeling it. It's not women's thing - it's people's thing.

Posted
Stop making it sound like it's only a woman's thing. Guys are just as allowed to change their mind as women.

 

Yes, I flaked on a few guys after a nice meeting when someone I thought was better/hotter etc. came along. Or I was plainly no longer feeling it. It's not women's thing - it's people's thing.

 

 

Nah. Women change their minds much more severely and often than men.

  • Like 1
Posted
I cannot agree with this more.

 

 

I am for all intents and purposes a transgender woman. Even when I try to look like a man just by my nature I look feminine. Yet, when it comes to my interactions with women, I am much more the bad boy than the nice guy.

 

 

1.)I lost my virginity to a girl first when I was about 13. She was in a english as a second language class and I never said a word. It started with us playing grab ass in the hallway and went from there. That is in spite of the fact that almost at the same time I did the same thing with a early blooming guy.

 

 

Then I had what is supposed to be every guys dream happen in high school. I had sex with the one cute female teacher. As abusive as one of my boyfriends was during high school... a punch in the face from him wasn't as bad as the psychological damage that female did.

 

 

I am damaged.

 

 

2.) I am probably a biological father to the child of a tomboyish woman I met when I was in college. We dated on and off. We did it when she was about to marry another man. The baby was born, and the wedding was off. He's almost 11 years old and I have never been able to do a thing for him.

 

 

Meanwhile, a truly nice man, who has no kids, and who had bad luck with women, is now raising a child who may well be my son as his.

 

 

I am a deadbeat, tell women this, and their reaction more often than not when hearing the whole story and seeing all the data is that the baby moma is a *itch.

 

 

I am a deadbeat with baggage.

 

 

3.) I am a challenge. Did I forget to mention I am transgender, find men physically and psychologically attractive and easy to get and have seriously considered a full sex change? I mean really seriously, I even live as a woman, or at most masculine, a very feminine man.

 

 

That should repulse most women, they will say it does.

 

 

Then I see them checking out my ass in my tight jeans and they jump me when no one is looking.

 

 

 

 

How does that relate to girls flaking OP? Here is how. I have dated both men and women and to the greatest extent someone can experienced both gender roles in dating there is one great truth.

 

 

In many important ways men and women are exactly alike with one difference. Women are less likely to just say what they want.

 

 

Women will flake out on a date thinking it will make you more into them.

 

 

Women will flake out on a date in hopes you will go away.

 

 

Women will tell you not to contact them ever again and call police if you do.

Women will tell you not to contact them ever again and then call you, then hang up, or concoct a reason for you to come around.

 

 

Women will react the way this video shows..... In both ways, towards the same man/men depending on the week of the moth.

 

 

The one thing that makes men and women different is that men are much more consistent over time than women are. That is why women flake on dates, run out on weddings, and are more likely to file for divorce. It is a woman's prerogative to change her mind.

 

 

I don't say that out of hatred for women. Hell as I said in this posting I seriously identify with them to a great degree. I know what jerks men can be.

 

 

Ladies, one sister to another, ya'll crazy.

 

One of the best posts I've seen written here.

 

Guys who struggle with girls should read it over and over until it sinks in.

  • Like 1
Posted
One of the best posts I've seen written here.

 

Guys who struggle with girls should read it over and over until it sinks in.

 

 

 

That's the whole reason that in many traditional, non European societies ( and even there before Christianity) people like me were often match makers.

 

 

I have seen it from both sides. In short dating women VS dating men is that women are generally more erratic. If men look unpredictable to them, it is that women project their emotional state on to men. Just as men project a steady sureness onto women.

 

 

All any man should do is look as women as being like waves on the beach. The come crashing in, then draw out, and come crashing back in again. They move with the tides and the moon. Just accept it. Then don't let weather a girl likes you right now or not define you.

  • Like 2
Posted

Quote:

Originally Posted by clia viewpost.gif

This is not true at all.

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by forgetmenot75

I don't agree at all with you.

 

LOL very compelling arguments. You've convinced me.

 

Hah!

 

I think you're being too casual/laid back on these "dates." Dinner, drinks, a movie, even bowling (long as it's done at night) are generally accepted "date" activities... lunch or coffee, not so much. Get her to go out with you at night, preferably on a Friday or Saturday - but, failing that, certainly no earlier than Wednesday or Thursday - and at least go for a kiss at the end of the FIRST get-together. Otherwise they'll think you don't like them, or there was no spark, or you're not assertive enough to make a play for them, or what have you. All bad joo-joo.

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