Dundas Posted October 29, 2013 Posted October 29, 2013 Great, so now I'm back. I was heartbroken when the "love of my life" (I'm only 19) ended our 2 1/2 year relationship for another guy, who she's still with, back in April. I've had to endure keeping in touch, as we both work together. Somehow, I made it and we've maintained a friendship (somewhat; at times, I feel taken advantage of). Then, one month ago, I FINALLY met someone else. Beautiful girl, although some of my family didn't approve of it (she's not white. Whoop-ti-do). Anyhow, the past month has been pretty great and I've been very happy. I tried to overlook this, but she's had a string of short relationships in the past year - I'm the 6th "boyfriend" this year. Everything was great today... we were in a store, and I said "I'm gonna go pick out what you're buying me for Christmas" She basically said "Who said we'll still be together by then?" So, later on I confronted her about that. She admitted that she had ended most of those relationships because she'd started to like them, and wasn't ready for another serious relationship. We didn't argue or anything, I think we both mutually agreed it's not going to work out, and it's best to stop now, because she's not ready for a relationship. I'm seriously bummed. I thought I found a good replacement, but it only lasted one month. The only reason I even found her was because a mutual friend set us up. She's the second girl I've been with, and I'm starting to feel unlovable. My ex who was supposed to love me doesn't want me. And this girl is so afraid of the slightest bit of commitment that she can't even give me a chance past the "dreaded" one-month line. I'm not looking for "hit-it-and-quit-it's," I just want to fall in love and be loved again. I'm beginning to feel like I'm not worth that, that somehow I'm not good enough. I'm not really heartbroken this time, but I'm definitely angry, disappointed and bitter. It won't take me long to get over her, but I grew so tired of being single and I thought I at least found something worth my time. People suck.
Stealth3 Posted October 29, 2013 Posted October 29, 2013 Do you seriously believe this girl ended her relationships because she started to like them too much and wasnt ready? Thats a load of total crap. Shes the type that likes to hop around, youre better off without her. She thinks there is someone better around the corner, let her go with a smile, i would show her the door, no friendship, NC, no nothing. 2
Author Dundas Posted October 29, 2013 Author Posted October 29, 2013 She was messaging me on Facebook about half an hour ago, but I'm going to go NC from now on. I won't be friends with someone like that, but it shouldn't be too hard since I'm not in love with her. I agree with the hopping around part, and you're probably right. I'm still young, but I'm honestly way too good-hearted and nice for anyone. It seems like everyone thinks they can do better, and I'm always overlooked. I am better off not dealing with that. She has plenty of guys throwing themselves at her, so I will not be missed.
Assasda Posted October 29, 2013 Posted October 29, 2013 I think you could still get back with this girl. If you didnt end it. Now that you ended it, you'll have to congruent and stay with that. I'd say you dumped her. Her christmas comment was more of a Test, then you jumped all over it, and hammered her. She'll be back
Author Dundas Posted October 29, 2013 Author Posted October 29, 2013 (edited) And I feel bad for saying this, but I should probably get checked for an STD or something. Thank God I Used Protection! She's probably already back to one of her "friends with benefits" She could also use some kegel exercises. @also - When I'm done, I'm done. I don't do off and on relationships, I don't want her back if she doesn't want me. I'll just vent about it for a few days and then move on. I don't care if she comes back or not, honestly. We're looking for different things, and I'm better off in the long run. Edited October 29, 2013 by Dundas
Stealth3 Posted October 29, 2013 Posted October 29, 2013 My most recent ex dumped me 3 times so to speak...first time it was a few weeks after we dated and I wish I let her go then and I wouldnt have been in this mess now. Basically after the second week that we met, she said she needed to talk and claimed that we are moving to fast. She said she talked to her friends and they all told her thats not who she is and she is just moving too fast (spending two weekends with me in a row is apparently too fast for her single friends). She wanted to slow down and I told her I'm not going back to square one. Either we go forward or we end it. 3-4 months later she dumps me again...due to work stress and her friends telling her its better to do it early than later, although we get back together 2 hours later. 5 months later she dumps me again due to being interested in another guy and needing time to date him....oh and because her friends convinced her its best to break up. She convinced herself she didnt like me for a long time and wanted to break up for a long time...Its her excuse to make herself feel better and justify what she did. Basically dont deal with this bs behavior, let her go. She will probably come back but will you take her back?
Author Dundas Posted October 29, 2013 Author Posted October 29, 2013 No, I'm not taking her back. It was bound to end soon, I think talking to her sped it up, though. I'd rather just be alone, she's too attractive for me, which means she's too much work for me. I'd rather be alone than to feel like I'm not special. I'm tired of being hurt and that's all she can give me, is more hurt after brief moments of being happy. I do like her a lot, but I'm looking for another real relationship, and she a lot of problems, including family, that she needs to deal with on her own, I guess. Some of her family liked to act better than me and make me feel uncomfortable anyway, you know, not being black and all. Whatever. I'm still pissed, but deep down I know I made the right decision.
Stealth3 Posted October 29, 2013 Posted October 29, 2013 If her family and friends dont like you, dont fight it...let her go. They will almost always win and convince your ex to dump you. My ex would talk to me about the ****ty things her friends and room mates do in and ends up taking their advice on breaking up with me in the end....she consulted with all her friends then dumped me like trash. 1
Salvatore85 Posted October 29, 2013 Posted October 29, 2013 If her family and friends dont like you, dont fight it...let her go. They will almost always win and convince your ex to dump you. My ex would talk to me about the ****ty things her friends and room mates do in and ends up taking their advice on breaking up with me in the end....she consulted with all her friends then dumped me like trash. This man speaks the truth. The moment my ex's mother started to dislike me was the moment my relationship went to hell. Have no clue to this day what I did or why she even dislikes me?
Recommended Posts