ivanrt Posted October 29, 2013 Posted October 29, 2013 I went out with a girl about 4-5 times. Things were going pretty well but then I had to leave town for a few weeks, and I haven’t seen her since I got back (it’s been almost a month!). We have been in contact all the time, but it seems like she is trying to avoid me.. As soon as I got back in town, I tried to ask her out but she turned me down because she was too busy with work. I thought that was it, but then after a few days, she asked me out. Of course I agreed but then she never scheduled anything, because again she was super busy with some new project at work. Then she asked me out another time but then AGAIN never actually scheduled (I told her when I was available, she said she’ll let me know once her schedule clears out, but then never did). From what I read on the forum, busy=not interested or worse, and I sort of believe that. If she was really interested, I guess she could have found a couple of hours to see me in an entire month..The thing is that she is very apologetic, says she feels bad about being so busy, she tells me how she is going to bed at 8:30 because she is too tired and stressed, and things like that. I am tempted to move on, but what if she is really just busy? Why would she ask me out twice if she has no intention of seeing me? Any advice on how to proceed with this girl?
Assasda Posted October 29, 2013 Posted October 29, 2013 You should see other girls. You should also be honest with her. When she calls you, tell her that, you might have plans with other girls. Let her know that your time is precious. I dont mean this in any manipulative way, I mean this in a REAL way. Go out with other girls, and get other things going on in your life, this girl should realize that you wont just wait on her, and you shouldnt wait on someone thats not putting in the same effort
Author ivanrt Posted October 29, 2013 Author Posted October 29, 2013 thanks for reading and for the advice! I agree that’s what I should do, the only problem is finding such other girls..there isn't exactly a line of girls waiting for me right now Also I’m kind of shy and that doesn't help. If this girl didn't take the initiative and contacted me in the first place, nothing would probably have happened.
forgetmenot75 Posted October 29, 2013 Posted October 29, 2013 Hi there. Yes, busy equals not interested. she could have seen you at least half an hour. If she is crazy about you, she will want to see you all the time. This is not the case. I think she might be bored/lonely, and you are not her first option. she might be crazy about someone else, and calls you/schedules something with you depending the other guy/guys. she actually reschedules because she's not sure she wants to see you, but still she wants to have you "there" just in case. Delete and move on.
forgetmenot75 Posted October 29, 2013 Posted October 29, 2013 thanks for reading and for the advice! I agree that’s what I should do, the only problem is finding such other girls..there isn't exactly a line of girls waiting for me right now Also I’m kind of shy and that doesn't help. If this girl didn't take the initiative and contacted me in the first place, nothing would probably have happened. Never ever let a woman know you actually don't have a line of girls waiting for you. you should look super busy, but still able to see her. Don;t let a woman know you are all for her or you risk her lose interest.
Lansing Posted October 29, 2013 Posted October 29, 2013 I think there can be situations where the girl says "let's reschedule" but she still wants the guy to take initiative and plan the date/etc. It depends how you asked. If you said "hey, when are you free this week" and she said "sorry, I am busy"... well, that is BS.. Because if she was interested she would have said "hey, I have a crazy weeek but things will settle down after this week so how about next Wednesday". If you ask her out and say "Hey, you interested in X concert on X day" and she says "sorry, I am busy" or "sorry, my friend is in town that day" or "sorry, I can't" then she is just responding to that particular request and she maybe figures you will make another offer for something else so doesn't try to reschedule. At least, that is my impression as a guy. I think girls just assume the guy will ask again if interested?? However, if I ask a girl out a few times and she just says "I am busy" without saying the reason she is busy, even if I am just trying to be friendly I will drop it completely. I did this with one girl recently and then she contacted me after I stopped talking to her. Well, I took the bait and I asked her out again and she was "out of town" that weekend.. I just stopped bothering again and if she contacts me again I probably won't even respond to her message.
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