DazedandConfused88 Posted October 29, 2013 Posted October 29, 2013 Sorry in advance if this gets long. So, I met this girl on OkCupid and went on three great dates with her. However, I was getting kind of mixed signals from her during the dates and never ended up kissing her. I thought my intentions were pretty obvious since we did very date-ish activities and I'd find reasons to put my arm around her. At the end of the 3rd date, I wanted to make things clear and basically said "you know, I like you, right?". We both recently moved to the area (about two months ago for her). She told me that she had just moved here and is still settling down and needs some time. Usually when I hear a girl say "needs time", it reads as an automatic "no" and I'm probably not going to hear from her again. But, she tells me that she means probably by the new year. She later texts me that even though she hopes that even though she states she needs time that we can still hang out. Is she being genuine with this? trying to friend zone me? or keeping me on the back-burner so she can explore other options?
Leigh 87 Posted October 29, 2013 Posted October 29, 2013 When I want to be with a guy, nothing stops me. I was new to my current area 3 and a half years ago. I also had an eating disorder and has massive personal issues. Moreover, I DID NOT want to date and settle down with one person for the rest of my life. I didn't want a boyfriend because I had issues I wanted to resolve and I wanted to be single. I still dated and ended up with a guy I met for almost 3 years. She likes you, she enjoys hanging with you but that is all.
AverageCat Posted October 29, 2013 Posted October 29, 2013 She does need time.... to find another guy... lol She's new to the area so she can use your company while she meets other people... Maybe she'll settle for you eventually, but she will never WANT YOU. Are you OK with that? Also date-ish activities don't work. You should do activities that are emotion-ful. I.e. make her scared, thrilled, excited, happy, sad, etc. Going to dinner or movies does nothing like that... 1
Assasda Posted October 29, 2013 Posted October 29, 2013 When, girls put out "need time" They're right, but you never know if its, 3 days from now, or 1 hour from now. AND DONT ASK ABOUT IT. I personally think its all a Test. Just dont be jealous, dont be needy, and stick around and have fun with her. Once she has fun with you, and knows your needs as a man, you will never be in any friend zone. Just be patient, and update on whats going on
Kate9292 Posted October 29, 2013 Posted October 29, 2013 Sounds like you put her on the spot with that question, like she was supposed to reciprocate right away or say no and basically hurt your feelings. So she basically tried to avoid leading you on or being rude. I had been put on the spot like that. NEVER worked out, either killed anything that I felt there or I didn't feel anything so made no difference anyway. Just don't ask questions like that ever again, OK? 1
forgetmenot75 Posted October 29, 2013 Posted October 29, 2013 She sees you as a friend. Nothing more than that.
Author DazedandConfused88 Posted October 29, 2013 Author Posted October 29, 2013 Thanks for all the answers. I was pretty much already leaning towards that she was friend zoning me. That was the main reason I put it out there that I liked her since I was getting really mixed signals. I understand that some girls don't like to be put on the spot, but for the guy, I think it's better to be upfront than to be dragged through months of being in no man's land (been there, done that). I think I like Assasda's answer the best since it was the only optimistic one lol. I'm probably just going to try to date around though while still hanging out with her. If she ends up bringing it up, that'd be awesome. If not, then another friend it is. I'll revisit this thread at the beginning of the year with maybe (hopefully) some good news.
Dark_history Posted October 29, 2013 Posted October 29, 2013 Who's been paying for the dates? If it is just you, I see no reason as to why she would want to stop going out for free meals.
lino Posted October 30, 2013 Posted October 30, 2013 Either she's still on/off with an ex or she's fishing around for a guy she thinks is better. You're just being used for attention.
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