gina42 Posted October 28, 2013 Posted October 28, 2013 Ok. So all of us are in LDR's and so obviously sex is not happening as frequently as normal couples. Lol When you do see your partner..is it as frequent as you'd like it to be? Or is it more than you thought? I'm talking about the number of times you have sex. I'm just feeling a little confused because when I see my bf...which averages out to about every 3 months....I can't keep my hands off of him. And would be happy with getting it more. He's happy with one time. And he's done. I feel like this doesn't sound right with how much we TALK about sex, sext..etc. I mean we do that A LOT. he's always had a high sex drive. Apparently just not with me:(. That's been making me depressed and feeling really self conscious lately. So I'm wondering what it's like for you guys.
nomadic_butterfly Posted October 28, 2013 Posted October 28, 2013 I hope I am wrong but it sounds like he is being pleased elsewhere. I cannot imagine 3 months increments and being satisfied with only one time. It sounds silly for him to be game for virtual/technological play but no real world action. How is behavior toward you/the relationship in person besides sex? Is he enthusiastic to see you? Has his sex drive changed? Does he talk about the future with you? Is he stressed otherwise? Health issues? Ok. So all of us are in LDR's and so obviously sex is not happening as frequently as normal couples. Lol When you do see your partner..is it as frequent as you'd like it to be? Or is it more than you thought? I'm talking about the number of times you have sex. I'm just feeling a little confused because when I see my bf...which averages out to about every 3 months....I can't keep my hands off of him. And would be happy with getting it more. He's happy with one time. And he's done. I feel like this doesn't sound right with how much we TALK about sex, sext..etc. I mean we do that A LOT. he's always had a high sex drive. Apparently just not with me:(. That's been making me depressed and feeling really self conscious lately. So I'm wondering what it's like for you guys. 1
Carenth Posted October 28, 2013 Posted October 28, 2013 On both our trips in the last year. My GF and I played a lot of catch up for time apart.. so higher than usual I would say for sure when we are together. It could be his sex drive is really not as high as he says it is? Have you talked to him about this and how you feel?
Els Posted October 29, 2013 Posted October 29, 2013 How long do you spend together during that visit? Are we talking one day or one week? We definitely went at it more often than usual during visits.
Solcita2 Posted October 29, 2013 Posted October 29, 2013 I agree... how long the visit? Or wait, are you saying one time PER DAY? LOL... I can't imagine having sex only once... My F and I are getting together next year (it will be 10 months apart by that time) he will be here for 2 or 3 months, so I guess the first couple of weeks we'll be like rabbits and then gradually go back to normal and then the last couple of weeks we'll be rabbits again... and if he's satisfied quickly as your bf I'm sure I'll just rape him ... You should talk to him about this...
Faith13/2 Posted October 29, 2013 Posted October 29, 2013 I had been away from my SO for about 4 months, we would cyber on an average of once a day. The first day I arrived we were very touchy I would say we had sex 5 times that day+, I've been here for a month now and I would say we're still averaging about twice a day maybe? I think this guy's sex drive may not be all he made it out to be while sexting and such. Maybe he can only handle once a day? Regardless of the reason, communication is key.
FitChick Posted October 29, 2013 Posted October 29, 2013 How old is he? Older man are more talk than action.
Author gina42 Posted October 29, 2013 Author Posted October 29, 2013 Ugh. I talked to him. And now he feels bad that he wasn't good enough for me. I hate that I made him feel bad. I should have kept my mouth shut. If it became an absolute regular thing than only should I have brought it up. I feel horrible now:( He's 44. He's a great guy. Best thing that's happened to the both of us is finding each other. I hope I can fix this without crushing his manly ego too much.
TMichaels Posted October 30, 2013 Posted October 30, 2013 Ugh. I talked to him. And now he feels bad that he wasn't good enough for me. I hate that I made him feel bad. I should have kept my mouth shut. If it became an absolute regular thing than only should I have brought it up. I feel horrible now:( He's 44. He's a great guy. Best thing that's happened to the both of us is finding each other. I hope I can fix this without crushing his manly ego too much. Sorry to hear that. However, you never answered... When you say "once and he's done" what are you talking about? Sex once a day, once a week or once the entire time he's visiting? If it's the latter, how long are his visits which you said earlier are every three months or so? Best, TMichaels
Author gina42 Posted October 30, 2013 Author Posted October 30, 2013 Our visits are usually a weekend. So fri to Sunday. And it's about once a day. Is like more. We actually talked again tonight. And thing are good. He listened to what I had to say and I did him too. I'll just say that I feel a lot better. And am looking forward to our next visit in 2 months:) Thanks everyone
Els Posted October 30, 2013 Posted October 30, 2013 Once a day isn't really too bad even during visits, IMO. We didn't do more than that most of the time, especially as there were so many other things we wanted to do together during the day. But if you really need more, talk to him about it.
justwhoiam Posted November 3, 2013 Posted November 3, 2013 You spend a weekend with your LD boyfriend and sure enough there'll be a number of things you want to do with him to make up for the time you were not together. That might include: going out for dinner, going to the movies, going to a bowling place, visiting somewhere, having a trip together, etc. He probably knows your wishes, and how many things you want to do and when. A man can be conflicted if he's being selfish and keeping you in bed all the time... So he needs to balance that putting your wishes first. Then you think oh, why didn't we spend more time loving each other? 1) Any chance can be a good chance to be intimate, not just when you are in bed (ok, this entails some risk, but well, it can also be exciting if done with a pinch of salt) 2) If you filled his head with all the things you'd like doing, let him also know how you would give up all of them to just be intimate with him for a whole day 3) Balance your sex needs with his needs and try to recreate a relationship as if it were not LD. That is a good test to see what it would be like if you were not LD.
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