amythan Posted October 28, 2013 Posted October 28, 2013 Hi there, I posted before about this guy but in short: he works with be but based in a different city. We talked over one year and I was crazy about him and he looked so much into me. I never liked someone as much, we were attracted to each other but we also connected on an emotional level. He had a gf but they broke up during the summer and when I expected everything to be fine with us he gave the "I am not ready" speech. From this day (one month ago) I removed him from my life, just a few professional emails but never engaged on personal conversations. I am done. If he wants to be single good for him but I need to move on with my life. Now I met someone new. He is sweet and texts me all the time, he maked clear he likes me and we have a date this week and he just said that it is the best day of the week. But I feel bad. The other guy just texted me today saying "You should really move (his town), it is much nicer up here" and my heart skipped a beat. I didn't reply. I know much better now. He also tried last week but I am just to upset to even reply. I do not get why he is contacting me. He knows he hurt me and that I like him but he is keeping saying that he likes me but he need time on his own. I want to give the other guy a try but I am afraid I still have feelings for the other one. I do not know if I just don't like him enough or if I didn't get rid of the hope ... My feelings are so messed up and I do not know what to do ! Your opinions are greatly appreciated
Blastoplast Posted October 28, 2013 Posted October 28, 2013 One thing I'll take away from your post, and this is only a tidbit of advice... He said "Move up here, it's so much better" -- make sure you move for YOURSELF, and not for him.
Author amythan Posted October 28, 2013 Author Posted October 28, 2013 I didn't take it seriously .. I just don't get why he makes these stupid comments. And this is why I stopped talking to him, to avoid getting into false hope and understand every sentence in the wrong way. I guess if he has something important to say he will say it loud and clear. But with the new guy I feel conflicted, I want to move on and give him a try but I do not want to mislead him either .. my feelings are not here yet.
Delilah1623 Posted October 28, 2013 Posted October 28, 2013 (edited) If you're anything like me are probably idealizing guy #1. Reality is he's probably not that great. Sometimes you need to meet someone new to snap you out of it. The new guy might not be the one. But the first guy isn't either or you'd be with him instead of sitting alone feeling like crap. Edited October 28, 2013 by Delilah1623 Typo
acrosstheuniverse Posted October 28, 2013 Posted October 28, 2013 Sack off the old guy completely, is there a reason you have to be in touch with him? This will give your feelings for the new guy space to grow. Old guy is just dangling you on a bit of string because it's fun for him. Sure, in an ideal world nobody would ever start a relationship with someone new until they were 100% over their last flame. But the world doesn't really work that smoothly, sometimes feelings for a new person even help you to realise that the feelings you had for the last person have died. I wasn't 100% over my last love when I started seeing my new boyfriend, as timing-wise I happened to meet the new boyfriend very soon after things ended with the guy prior to him. But I knew he was too good an opportunity to pass up so I went for it anyway, leaving contact with the prior guy to minimal so that I could continue moving on. My feelings for my boyfriend grew very easily, and I became even more over my ex.
Author amythan Posted October 28, 2013 Author Posted October 28, 2013 I do not think he is messing with me for the sake of having fun but the reason doesn't matter, I guess. I have to work with him from time to time, very sporadic emails but I always keep it professional. He doesn't but I never engage the conversation. He drunken texted me but again, I am done with trying to find deep meaning on these things .. The new guy looks so happy and interested that it is scary but you are right, time will tell ...
gaius Posted October 29, 2013 Posted October 29, 2013 If I were you I would dump the new guy and try things with the other guy again since feelings are still there. I've had to bash my head against a wall retrying things 5-6 times before I finally lost feelings for someone who wasn't good for me and in the end I'm glad I did. It's a horrible thing to go into a relationship with someone you're not that into while busy thinking about someone else.
Author amythan Posted October 29, 2013 Author Posted October 29, 2013 gaius: you are probably right about the new guy but on the other hand I cannot spend my days hoping on someone who says he is not ready (and for me this implies he is not interested). I have feelings for the other guy but he is the one who should come back to me if he changes his mind, I respect what he said and I decide that the best for me is stay away from him ...
Recommended Posts