Supergirl_x Posted October 28, 2013 Posted October 28, 2013 hi me and my bf live 4 hours apart we have been going out in a ldr for 1 year and 6 month. im close with his family and hes close with mine. we see each other every 1-2 weeks bit inbetween we skype and every night he falls asleep on me. he hasnt got a job atm as hes just graduated uni but its not like he is working and its really upsetiing me and making me hysterical now its every night 'im tired' or 'im going to bed' before he would stay and force himself too even i do to this day force myself awake even if it makes me ill and just doesnt seem to care about special time alone together. AND yes i have tried it esrlier usually earlier in the day hes busy with family which is fine and we dont get the privacy we want! i have had enough of it all i want is a bit of attention from him and i keep causing arguments to do so... to keep him awake i feel so depressed it feels like we never ft properly anymore.... sigh!
Zahara Posted October 28, 2013 Posted October 28, 2013 It says a lot when someone prefers to sleep than talk with their gf/bf. And after asking/requesting that he prioritize your needs, and it's still falling on dead ears, that should be a sign for you. 4
gina42 Posted October 28, 2013 Posted October 28, 2013 I had that IRL with my LDR this past weekend. He kept falling asleep on me. He kept saying that he is so comfortable with me. And that it feels so good snuggling jn bed that it makes him want to doze off. Normally I wouldn't thjnk much of it but...if you read my thread I just started...it all just makes me wonder how into me he still is. I'm sorry I don't have any advice for you. But i know how you feel
Author Supergirl_x Posted October 29, 2013 Author Posted October 29, 2013 i guess i know what you mean, but hes always wanting to text etc its just when we are suppose to have our skype time at night which is when we get to be alone he never fails at not being able to keep awake, its like sometimes its true what you say he actually says 'id rather get a good night sleep tonight' and most nights i let him go without any fuss, and it would have effected our skype time but yet if that me was me all the time he would be pissed off too. i feel really down and all i want is what it use to be like... he use to always stay up late and talk to me and that was when he was at uni every single day.., it could be just lack of structure thats making him all over the place and he has put on an awful lot of weight cause may also being making him over tired so that may not help either as well as his diet at the moment. im so upset and sometimes i need to talk about it and he often just says that i 'go on and on and on' and i dont... yes he makes the exact same excuse that my voice is so relaxing and curling up is so comfortable for him and he often closes his eyes to imagine im there and thats what makes him fall asleep i get so damm upset about this that i always feel really dowm when i have to go to bed cause i feel like he just thinks i go on when i just need to talk to my own bf about my day or about my feelings sigh........
justwhoiam Posted November 3, 2013 Posted November 3, 2013 we see each other every 1-2 weeks bit inbetween we skype and every night he falls asleep on me. I think you are very demanding. You see him like once a week and want him to talk to you till late every night? What time does he start feeling tired and falling asleep? Ok, he's not working, but that in itself is not a sure indicator of his schedule. That means that if he wakes up at 10 am and at 9 pm he falls asleep on you, though he didn't do anything all day, now there would be ground for some concern. But if he wakes up at 7 am and at 9:30 pm he's tired, you can't blame him. It can happen. Especially if he's depressed. He doesn't have a job, so that can be a hassle or let someone down, his girlfriend is away... I guess those two together would make most guys sad. Because they'd feel powerless. Maybe he's not well organized. See what he does all day long. Does he go out for interviews? Does he help with the chores at home? Or does he just lie on the couch the whole time watching tv? Try to understand more about him before you draw sudden conclusions. 3
Author Supergirl_x Posted November 29, 2013 Author Posted November 29, 2013 I think you are very demanding. You see him like once a week and want him to talk to you till late every night? What time does he start feeling tired and falling asleep? Ok, he's not working, but that in itself is not a sure indicator of his schedule. That means that if he wakes up at 10 am and at 9 pm he falls asleep on you, though he didn't do anything all day, now there would be ground for some concern. But if he wakes up at 7 am and at 9:30 pm he's tired, you can't blame him. It can happen. Especially if he's depressed. He doesn't have a job, so that can be a hassle or let someone down, his girlfriend is away... I guess those two together would make most guys sad. Because they'd feel powerless. Maybe he's not well organized. See what he does all day long. Does he go out for interviews? Does he help with the chores at home? Or does he just lie on the couch the whole time watching tv? Try to understand more about him before you draw sudden conclusions. okay, he's AS and usually gets up around 7 or 8 am unless he is having a lie from a busy day before. and it's a bit if both, searching for work, helping his mum and goes places with her to keep her company, and other days(very few) he will lay on sofa watching tv all day, but at the start our relationship we use to have calls or skypes mornings and nights. And maybe even some Inbetween. Now it seems a struggle to even have a proper Skype or call at night cause he's so tired for sometimes doing nothing, when he was at uni he would be the one who would stayed up til 2am/3am and then got up at 6am. It never use to be such a big thing and then all if a sudden he started getting sleepy at 9 or 10 even and kept falling asleep on me and this started when he became unemployed and free all the time, even when he was at uni he would say we would have all the time in the world for each other when he finished but now he's finished it just seems like he isn't that bothered whether we call or not and it really upsets me. He has a job that starts in 1 month, and I'm really happy for him maybe his routine will help him get bCk on track. Just these past 4 months of both being unemployed we have had all this time and it's been wasted and Im so dissapointed that we didn't use well. I just don't feel like I'm important to him anymore, he says I am but most nights he choses to go to sleep over spending our skype or call time talking and stuff. Usually he says he can't cause either 1. 'Hes downstairs' which means he's with his family or 2. 'Hes busy' or 3 'he just can't!' Seriously what does it take to just pick up the phone to your gf.... I wait all day to talk to him and for him to just fall asleep on me it really depresses and upsets me and by the time we ft the following night I'm so wound up and depressed that I end up having a go at him
justwhoiam Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 okay, he's AS I don't know what AS means. when he was at uni he would be the one who would stayed up til 2am/3am and then got up at 6am. So is that what you really want? Him keeping that kind of unhealthy sleeping pattern? It sounds quite selfish, self-centered and not what someone in love should really want for her beloved. Just these past 4 months of both being unemployed we have had all this time and it's been wasted and Im so dissapointed that we didn't use well. You learned that things can go a different way than you would have expected. But I guess he couldn't keep up with that pattern for too long. And he's becoming adult, things you'd do in the past... suddenly you can't do them anymore (especially if they prove to take their toll on your health). I just don't feel like I'm important to him anymore, he says I am but most nights he choses to go to sleep over spending our skype or call time talking and stuff. Most nights... so he's balancing that, some nights he calls and spends all night with you and others he needs to watch a movie or go to sleep. Let him live. If you don't pressure him too much, all the time, things will come spontaneously which is far better than forcing him to do anything. Try that and see what happens. If nothing comes from that anymore, then you'll address the problem. But it can't be about you and with you all the time. Find something to do yourself. 1
theothersully Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 How about this idea? Just ask him what the best time to call is and call at that time. 1
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