Ansem Posted October 28, 2013 Posted October 28, 2013 Looking for some advice guys. Couple hours ago my ex texted me to ask how I was doing; mentioned how it might be weird to hear from her but that she's been thinking about how I'm doing. What does she want?
Turnandcough Posted October 28, 2013 Posted October 28, 2013 She is probably just trying to stroke her Ego knowing that you will talk to her. Most of the time all dumpee's over analyze everything. Take it as it is and take your time responding. Your busy living your life remember? Either she is feeling guilty for how things went and wants to cool things over with you. Or She is missing you. Not necessarily wanting you back but depending on what you want is how you should approach it. If you still want her back just act as nothing is wrong and be a carefree non pressuring person. Take it one message at a time. Don't over think what she says because it's probably not what you are thinking.
Chi townD Posted October 28, 2013 Posted October 28, 2013 If she dumped you, then she's trying to gage how hurt you are. If she dumped you, she gave up that right. Don't respond. Stay NC. 1
aybc123 Posted October 28, 2013 Posted October 28, 2013 (edited) It means exactly what it says, that despite it being weird to hear from her she has been wondering how you're doing. I really dont like the ego stroking stuff people say breadcrumbs like these are. If you were with someone for a long time you have to be a total heartless ass to not care about them at all anymore. It's fairly natural for an ex dumper to want to reconnect with the person they dumped and be friends/ have things be amicable. It's no more ego stroking than me texting an old buddy from uni days to see how he's doing. People like to stay in touch with people they get along with and have history with and noone likes to be disliked. But don't think it means she wants you back. As to what you should do it depends on where you are with the breakup and how long ago it was. If i were you i'd just reply with something like 'hey, don't worry about it is nice to hear from you, i'm doing good thanks, hope you are too ' shows you dont hate them and that youd be open to being friends in the future but ends the conversation for now so you can carry on healing. Edited October 28, 2013 by aybc123 2
Author Ansem Posted October 28, 2013 Author Posted October 28, 2013 There are three scenarios going through my mind right now and in an effort to explain myself I'll list them down below, along with some of my reasons for thinking them. 1. She wants to alleviate guilt. I really disliked the way she went about breaking up with me and some of the things she did. Coming from someone who I had been with for 2 1/2 years I really expected to end things well with a sentimental discussion, instead I got a text and block,ignored, etc. 2. Maybe she misses me. Probably the least likeliest of the scenarios but still on my mind nonetheless. On two occasions we bumped into each other and simply said hello, I felt like she was excited to see me but nothing came of it. Next about 2-3 weeks ago I notice she unblocked me from FB but did not bother to add me and last week, on separate days, I received calls from a private number (I have no reason to believe it could have been someone else). Now this. 3. She has moved on and simply wants to see how I'm doing. In all honesty this scenario is the one I dislike the most, not because of the fact that she has already moved on but because of what it implies. She has to know that I would have a tougher time coping with the breakup and that it would definitely take me a lot longer than 2-3 months for me to feel perfectly fine. So if she really cared about me as a friend why would she risk hurting me again. If she broke up with me, wouldn't it be fair for me to text her if I wanted anything? This is tough guys, but all your input is helpful.
boo700gs Posted October 28, 2013 Posted October 28, 2013 3. She has moved on and simply wants to see how I'm doing. In all honesty this scenario is the one I dislike the most, not because of the fact that she has already moved on but because of what it implies. She has to know that I would have a tougher time coping with the breakup and that it would definitely take me a lot longer than 2-3 months for me to feel perfectly fine. So if she really cared about me as a friend why would she risk hurting me again. If she broke up with me, wouldn't it be fair for me to text her if I wanted anything? This is tough guys, but all your input is helpful. Don't you wish you could just ask her which of the 3 is the case? Alas, life is a mystery I understand completely how scenario #3 could hurt the most and even #1 obviously hurts too that you're being measured and tested by someone who broke you down. You're a great writer though. Keep expressing yourself.
haggard969 Posted October 29, 2013 Posted October 29, 2013 you wanna turn the tables? just say **** OFF, she will see that you have the upper power telling her to leave, she will want you.
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted October 29, 2013 Posted October 29, 2013 you wanna turn the tables? just say **** OFF, she will see that you have the upper power telling her to leave, she will want you. Not true. Look, all you can do is move forward. She can ask how you're doing and there is probably several different reasons why. Guilt, curiosity, etc....with all answers there are, it is all for HER not YOU. She is doing it for her and her only. Doesnt mean anything honestly. Just keep moving forward. 1
Simon Phoenix Posted October 29, 2013 Posted October 29, 2013 you wanna turn the tables? just say **** OFF, she will see that you have the upper power telling her to leave, she will want you. This is a horrible idea. Much better to say nothing than to show anger and hurt and immaturity like this. As for the OP's question, she probably wants to know how you are doing. That's it. It's not an Inception "dream within a dream" scenario with several different layers. 1
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted October 29, 2013 Posted October 29, 2013 This is a horrible idea. Much better to say nothing than to show anger and hurt and immaturity like this. As for the OP's question, she probably wants to know how you are doing. That's it. It's not an Inception "dream within a dream" scenario with several different layers. What if his ex is dreaming? She asked how he was doing in HER dream? Then it was her dream within his dream right? So maybe get his friend to get into her dream and tell her to stop asking him? Where does Leo fit in all of this? SIMON!!!!!!
Simon Phoenix Posted October 29, 2013 Posted October 29, 2013 What if his ex is dreaming? She asked how he was doing in HER dream? Then it was her dream within his dream right? So maybe get his friend to get into her dream and tell her to stop asking him? Where does Leo fit in all of this? SIMON!!!!!! It probably looks a lot like the Starburst commercial with Michael Bolton. Starburst - Orchard - YouTube
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