holdingmyown Posted October 28, 2013 Posted October 28, 2013 So where does this begin? Over two years together. Hang ups about what was done prior to even knowing one another. I am 46 he is 47, both divorced, both have children. We all live together, yet there is always the questions, who are you talking to, your phone went off, there is always a never ending silent tension until finally this huge explosion and the dreaded words " get out of my house" . That is his solution, get out leave go ahead and find someone who does what he does. The man does not work , at least not hard and not for a nominal amount of money. The expesnses are shared equally unless he goes on a spending bing and then cries for days and complains how no one understands the pressure he is under and the expenses and the toll life is taking on him. i guess I am basically just venting, The verbal abuse, accusations, names, references, judgement etc has occured for so long he seeks other to support the words. Oh and he dsoesnt speak these words...he writes them. This was no one can ever hear him say such horrendous things thus he never said them or of course it was comprehended the wrong way.....Ughhh I could type for hours. I think i need some self help.
Zahara Posted October 28, 2013 Posted October 28, 2013 Why do you stay? Financial reasons, kids together? What are your reasons to tolerate a less than equal relationship and abuse?
Author holdingmyown Posted October 28, 2013 Author Posted October 28, 2013 No, he neber was any of what he shows now. None of it. He was actually the opposite. I didnt make a rash decsicion moving in, it was well thought out and real. It is not a poem. He is completely a different person. We have a wonderful life yet every few months an explosion. Any question insults his ego.
Zahara Posted October 28, 2013 Posted October 28, 2013 No, he neber was any of what he shows now. None of it. He was actually the opposite. I didnt make a rash decsicion moving in, it was well thought out and real. It is not a poem. He is completely a different person. We have a wonderful life yet every few months an explosion. Any question insults his ego. I wonder if you are now minimizing the issue by saying every few months there is an explosion. From you initial post you say, "there is always the questions, always the silent tension, he doesn't work hard, spends and then cries for days playing the victim, how the abuse has gone on for so long...yet you state life is wonderful except for the outburst once every few months? I'm confused. You contradict yourself.
devilish innocent Posted October 28, 2013 Posted October 28, 2013 I agree with Zahara. Your two posts paint very different pictures. It's hard to know what to advise without more information. This is definitely something you shouldn't live with. But if the bad behavior occurs only few months then couples or family counseling may be able to fix the issue. If he's like this most of the time, then it would be a lot harder to convince him to change, and I'd say you're better off leaving him.
southbound Posted October 29, 2013 Posted October 29, 2013 what do you mean by "he writes the words"? he writes them to you? to someone else? what are the hang ups prior to meeting one another? are they his hang ups or yours? or both?
Recommended Posts