Tarleton82 Posted October 28, 2013 Posted October 28, 2013 The one thing that keeps killing me, and perhaps this sounds superficial but I can't help it is that my ex who recently dumped me and has been VERY cold to me (see my previous post "after nearly four years...") is someone I can't get out of my head not only emotionally but sexually as well. The sex we had was AMAZING, and she is so attractive and pretty. I have been with girls since she dumped me and left me out in the cold but I can't seem to enjoy any of them. Its awful. But the worst part? The guy she left me for was not only a mutual friend but is really muscular, works out, etc. It just makes me feel so awful and horrible about myself. I'm a good-looking guy and guess would have had to have something going to get someone as attractive as her but I'm thin and probably couldn't even be muscular even if I DID work out or try to look like that because my frame is just really thin. Not emaciated disgustingly thin, but just thin. I know what the typical responses are going to be here, "love yourself for who you are, yada yada". Yeah. Well, easier said than done. It really enrages me and saddens me that she, as a woman can just go out and put on an alluring outfit and get a guy any time she wants. I'm not looking for any advice with this post, I just wanted to share it. I'm crushed.
Philosoraptor Posted October 28, 2013 Posted October 28, 2013 You won't find anyone unless you are confident in yourself. So what, a woman can go out and find a guy to sleep with... but you won't find any women who hasn't turned down a bunch of losers because they just wanted to use her for sex. Stop checking up on her and stop communicating with her, and you'll solve a lot of your pain. You can't compare yourself to anyone else, and you certainly shouldn't compare any new mates to your ex. It's not fair to anyone.
KatZee Posted October 28, 2013 Posted October 28, 2013 So how about instead of feeling sorry for yourself and thinking, "I wouldn't ever look like that..." Why not TRY? I've seen some thin guys completely transform after starting a serious training program and a high protein, whey supplemented diet. Use your hurt to catapult you into completely changing yourself if you're upset. Rub it in her face that now you're turning into super hulk. And also you're a good guy and treated her well. Couple that with your good looks and soon to be rocking bod, and she'll probably be kicking herself in the a.ss. Then you can laugh in her face when she's begging for you back.
Chi townD Posted October 28, 2013 Posted October 28, 2013 Dude, you have to start making positive changes in your life. You said the other guy is muscular and that you're thin. So! Change that! If you want muscles then go for it. Doesn't matter what kind of frame you have. Plus, most girls like muscular shoulders, defined arm and a six pack. A lot are turned off by roided out freaks. Go to the gym and meet with a trainer, they will get you on a program to maximize muscle gains for you, but you'll need to totally which out your diet. Then go get your hair styled, not cut but styled. Something people are going to notice and like. If you wear glasses, go to contacts and then get an entirely new wardrobe. Girls like a guy that knows how to dress and have a fashion sense. If you're a jeans, t-shirt, gym shoes and trucker hat kind of guy, then change that! Designer jeans, loafers, button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up to the elbow and a small hipster tie and vest. The website to visit that keeps up on all male fashion and is good quality, look up Top Man. They can be pricey, but they have sales all the time. Above all else, you need to HAVE FUN!!! BE FUNNY!!! HAVE CONFIDENCE!!! Girls aren't attracted to a guy that's going to sit there like a bump on a log, but they will gravitate toward Mr. Fun Guy!
Haydn Posted October 28, 2013 Posted October 28, 2013 Mate your killing yourself. I have been there. Dont do it. Its so ........hard, i know but please dont try to find out more about how she is a who she is with. Dont. I have your pain. Dont.
Author Tarleton82 Posted October 28, 2013 Author Posted October 28, 2013 Looks/fashion sense aren't an issue for me. Actually if you probably saw me you'd probably be like 'um why are you comparing yourself to this other guy?' . I don't look bad at all, I know that. I just feel like crap because I guess the fact that she went with this guy makes me feel bad about myself, even though realistically there's nothing physically wrong with me or unappealing. (not trying to sound full of myself, sorry). I don't really want to look "muscular" per se. I don't know. I just feel horrible because now she's with this piece of crap and not me anymore. She always said she liked my thin frame and my physical appearance. I don't look unhealthy at all. Just can't stop comparing myself.
Author Tarleton82 Posted October 28, 2013 Author Posted October 28, 2013 She always said she hated the typical 'macho tough guy' look and would always make fun of it. I don't get it. I look masculine, I am just not muscular.
Zahara Posted October 28, 2013 Posted October 28, 2013 Your ego is bruised. It'll get better. It's normal to compare and tear and question your worth but that's just something I believe each and everyone of us will go through when the one we love moves on to someone else. We will always compare. Maybe she isn't basing this guy on his physical attributes just as you are. Maybe there are other attributes/traits that are attractive to her that you are not there to witness.
Author Tarleton82 Posted October 28, 2013 Author Posted October 28, 2013 Yeah well good for her. I hope the two of them burn in Hell after very, very short lifespans.
Author Tarleton82 Posted October 28, 2013 Author Posted October 28, 2013 The most disgusting thing anyone can do is do that to someone who was a mutual friend. And after five years. And she doesn't even care.
pteromom Posted October 28, 2013 Posted October 28, 2013 Just remember that one day you will be on your honeymoon with your beautiful wife who is perfect for you. You'll be walking on a beach with her, holding her hand, feeling like the luckiest man in the world. And you will think of this ex of yours and be so so very grateful that she moved on to Mr. Hulk. I know that seems impossible now, but it's true. 2
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