HeartBorken Posted October 28, 2013 Posted October 28, 2013 So my ex broke up with me last month and she basically told me off on how i am the worst person ever even though i have treated her a lot better than most. Anyway i begged and pleaded to get back together but it was futile. We been about two weeks no contact and out of no where she decides to text saying she wants to talk about something. When she calls she ask if i was able to pay my latest bill since it was hers but she didn't even pay it. I told her i will figure everything out and that she doesn't have to call and worry about me. Then we got off the phone. I sent her a text (Because i am still hurting about the breaking up saying) Me : "Please don't call or text me anymore. Thank you" Her: "Ur such an ******* i was worried about you and all you say is that. Don't worry i won't bother you ever again" Me: " I'm sorry you feel that way but please understand that i can't be in contact with you. I understand you where worried but i hope you are able to understand that being in contact with you does me no good. I told you i would figure out the debt somehow. So just assume i am making the most out of life and i will do the same. Take care" I don't get why she is being so hostile towards me. I just need peace and now i am treated like an *******. she has not replied to that text. So what do i do? I don't want her to be mad at me i just want her to understand that i am still hurting so i can't talk to her.
JDPT Posted October 28, 2013 Posted October 28, 2013 Why do you find the need to explain yourself to her? 1
Balzac Posted October 28, 2013 Posted October 28, 2013 This is not rocket science. You lack the power to make her understand anything. Every communication you have reinforces the next. Just cut it off.
Author HeartBorken Posted October 28, 2013 Author Posted October 28, 2013 I just hate feeling like i am a horrible person because she doesn't understand that i can't talk to her. I would rather be on good terms not talking to each other rather than her just hating me even more for no reason. I took the breakup pretty bad but i have been leaving her alone and i just want to feel better again. The call from her made my heart sink i hate that feeling =/
Zahara Posted October 28, 2013 Posted October 28, 2013 When she broke up with you, she told you that you were the worst person she's ever dated, yet you're worrying about coming off as a horrible person just because you told her you need to heal and need NC? She's selfish and you need to stop being a doormat. 5
Author HeartBorken Posted October 28, 2013 Author Posted October 28, 2013 I guess your right. Still i feel like if i could explain maybe in better detail to her she will relax. I don't know. I guess i shouldn't care how she feels about me. I just wish she wouldn't get angry at me for trying to seek peace.
Chi townD Posted October 28, 2013 Posted October 28, 2013 Her: "Ur such an ******* i was worried about you and all you say is that. Don't worry i won't bother you ever again" Huh.....was she worried about you? Or was she worried about the debt? Here's the deal, she pretty much called you a piece of trash when you broke up. That's pretty harsh, dude. And you know what? She start to feel guilty about it. So, she contacted you about that lame ass debt; but, ultimately, she just wanted to see where your head is at. If you hate her for what she said. Then, you didn't stick to NC after your business was conducted. You started to text her again. You gave her everything she needed to forgive herself for being such a bitch. Basically, that text says to me, you are such an ********* and I was right to dump your ass. I, now, can forgive my behavior because he just proved to me that he deserved it. Dude, stay NC. Because I can read your mind right now. You're going to take care of the debt, then you'll want to break NC an inform her that that debt has been taken care of. DON'T DO IT!!! Stay NC.
Zahara Posted October 28, 2013 Posted October 28, 2013 I guess your right. Still i feel like if i could explain maybe in better detail to her she will relax. I don't know. I guess i shouldn't care how she feels about me. I just wish she wouldn't get angry at me for trying to seek peace. Neh, you want to do this because you want to look good in her eyes, so that if there is a possibility that she wants you back you wouldn't have burned that bridge because you asked for NC nicely. She doesn't need you to help her relax. Infact, when she broke up with you, she was telling you that she doesn't need you, period.
reddragon588 Posted October 28, 2013 Posted October 28, 2013 What do you do? Nothing. If she's upset that's her problem. She's creating things to get upset over. There's enough problems in life without creating them yourself. She needs to chill out. My ex did something similar after I deleted her on Facebook. Just ignore her.
Author HeartBorken Posted October 28, 2013 Author Posted October 28, 2013 When i made the text i was expecting an Okay i understand. Then we can go back to NC on friendly terms. Not her being angry at me because i don't want to be in contact. I think its worse to ignore phone calls and text =/ on top of that just seeing a text from her makes my heart sink i don't like that feeling at all. I don't see where i went wrong asking her to just stop contact. she shouldn't be concerned about me.... As for getting back together i don't want to do that. i taught i did but after thinking through i don't i did hope that in the future we could be friends again. Obviously this can't happen if we are constantly contacting each other and there is no time to heal.
Zahara Posted October 28, 2013 Posted October 28, 2013 You didn't do anything wrong. You're allowing her response to make you feel as if you did something wrong. When she ended with you, she lost the benefit of knowing how you are, knowing about how you are doing with you debt, knowing about what you ate for dinner, etc. She doesn't get to pop up and chat! She said you were the worst she has ever dated. Why would you even want to be friends with someone that views you in such a negative way? I would say F u and be friends with people who find me to be of value in their lives. It says something about you when you want to be friends with someone that devalues you that way. 2
Author HeartBorken Posted October 28, 2013 Author Posted October 28, 2013 Yeah your right. Thanks for the Advice. I got to work on being a bit aggressive as well. I do feel like she thinks she can treat me like a doormat but i just won't have it anymore. I'm a nice person so i do try to let people see the good in me but i don't think a friendship would work out well with this girl.
Zahara Posted October 28, 2013 Posted October 28, 2013 Yeah your right. Thanks for the Advice. I got to work on being a bit aggressive as well. I do feel like she thinks she can treat me like a doormat but i just won't have it anymore. I'm a nice person so i do try to let people see the good in me but i don't think a friendship would work out well with this girl. Just stay NC. Forget this one. You'll be all the better with people that accept you for who you are than those that chose to tear your down. She's not your friend. She's an ex. Other than that, she has nothing of substance that you need in your life.
Balzac Posted October 28, 2013 Posted October 28, 2013 [quote=I got to work on being a bit aggressive as well. I do feel like she thinks she can treat me like a doormat but i just won't have it anymore. I recommend you do some research on the difference between becoming assertive and avoiding aggressive.
Eddie007 Posted October 29, 2013 Posted October 29, 2013 I just hate feeling like i am a horrible person because she doesn't understand that i can't talk to her. I would rather be on good terms not talking to each other rather than her just hating me even more for no reason. I took the breakup pretty bad but i have been leaving her alone and i just want to feel better again. The call from her made my heart sink i hate that feeling =/ I was in the exact opposite scenario. My ex and I split on good terms. We have had no contact since the day she dumped me and that was 2.5 months ago. At the time I wished we had a fight thinking it wold be easier to get over her. I'm still not over her but have come a long long way. Regardless if you split on good terms its still going to hurt just as bad.
Stealth3 Posted October 29, 2013 Posted October 29, 2013 You tell your ex to f off, thats what you do. Seriously, the only way to get her back is either to ignore her like she doesnt exisit, or to treat her like ****. You treat your ex good and with respect, you explain yourself to her and she takes it for granted and treats you like a pile of trash. Hell, she respects a random homeless dude more than you right now. So return the favor, NC or tell her to f off then NC. Or better yet, block her email so it gets deleted as soon as you get it.
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