Why Does he like to pick on me? Shouldn't he be sticking up 4 me? Im only his gf!

[Emily55555]

Me and my bf have been going out for two months. But its weird with us.. We always pick on eachother! He'll make fun of me, call me blonde or whatever... and then I do the same back. We both are joking of course but its always like that we challenge eachother and see who can make fun of the other more. He'll throw snow at me and i'll be trying to get him back some how.... Sure its fun but I dont know if I want it to be like that all the time. We have always been like that though... Hes really competitive at some things so I think hes showing that side of him to me. Sometimes he'll make fun of me in front of my friends and they'll join in to... Like Shouldn't he be sticking up for me or something? Instead he is just going along with it.. Why Do I kind of feel like another one of his guy friends? Is this a good or bad thing? Should I be worried?

[kit4kat]

Some guys will pick on you to flirt with you, or to get your attention. This guy who has liked me for a while now constantly picks on me. He thinks that by picking on me and making fun of me I'll give him some type of attention, he doesn't realize of course that by making normal conversation with me I'll give him attention all the same.

 

Its probably just his flirting style, and since its been going on for a couple of months now, and since you do it back, he probably thinks that its normal and it doesn't bother you. My guess is he would stick up for you if it was needed-- like if someone said something mean about you to him.

 

If it bothers you, you should talk to him about it.

[gridiron]

I do the same thing, but know when to draw the line. My general rules of thumb are:

 

- I would joke about her sense of direction, driving habits, or something silly she did, but not a serious issue. I would not joke about a project at work that she dropped the ball on or a wrong decision she made on something important outside of work.

- I will gauge her mood at the time and not make even a playful joke if she is having a bad day.

- I will only joke around with her if we are alone or around good friends, not with casual acquaintances, especially if there is someone she does not like in the group.

- I also pick on myself when I do something absent-minded.

 

I feel comfortable around a girl who can laugh at herself, just as I do, and also have a witty comeback, but it should be playful, not hurtful.

 

Like kit4kat said, if he does cross the line or if you are not in the mood for jokes, then you need to tell him. He should be smart enough to know when it is the right context and when it is not, but you may need to remind him.