salem mark Posted October 28, 2013 Posted October 28, 2013 I have been dealing with this ex for 6years. All my posts regard her. I was in love with her from day one (and I have had many gf's but none like her) She called several times I didnt respond. Last night I picked up. I havent spoke to her since visiting her in MA last New Years weekend. She was cold to me the last 2 days after 2 days of honeymoon time. I decided I was done with her hot/cold bs.I sent her an email and told her not to contact me again And out of the blue after many months she starts calling again I believe she reaches out to me when she is in between men.(to stroke her ego?) What can I communicate to her (in a mature adult manner) that I cant do this anymore? Why is she doing this?
Philosoraptor Posted October 28, 2013 Posted October 28, 2013 She does it because you let her. She wants to use you to get over other guys as you are a safe place to land between guys.
Author salem mark Posted October 28, 2013 Author Posted October 28, 2013 ok, I get that ,should i tell her that? she must aware of what she is doing
Never Again Posted October 28, 2013 Posted October 28, 2013 "I don't appreciate feeling like I'm being used." "I asked you not to contact me again. Please be respectful of that." "Get lost." Take your pick. You really don't owe her much maturity if she's doing this, but I understand why you want to feel like you've approached it in the right way. Simply tell her that you were done with her quite some time ago - and ask her to gracefully disappear. If she doesn't, MAKE her fade away (block her number).
Philosoraptor Posted October 28, 2013 Posted October 28, 2013 ok, I get that ,should i tell her that? she must aware of what she is doing Delete, block, and ignore. Move on with your life.
Zahara Posted October 28, 2013 Posted October 28, 2013 ok, I get that ,should i tell her that? she must aware of what she is doing I'm sure she is aware of it, so what would telling her what she already knows do for you. You keep leaving the door open because you think maybe this time contact will be different. Your gut tells you she does this when she is in between men yet you ask why is she doing this? Trust your intuition. Besides, contact hasn't changed a thing for you. Time to shut it down. Block her.
Nicoleiia Posted October 28, 2013 Posted October 28, 2013 (edited) Don't respond to her. Don't tell her anything. Just let her keep calling and you should just keep ignoring her. She is no longer in your life so you owe her nothing. Nothing speaks more volumes than silence. Edited October 28, 2013 by Nicoleiia
OnlyHonesty Posted October 28, 2013 Posted October 28, 2013 I have been dealing with this ex for 6years. All my posts regard her. <--snip--> I decided I was done with her hot/cold bs.I sent her an email and told her not to contact me again And out of the blue after many months she starts calling again I believe she reaches out to me when she is in between men.(to stroke her ego?) What can I communicate to her (in a mature adult manner) that I cant do this anymore? Why is she doing this? She is doing this because she knows eventually you will give in and respond, she can use you for a much needed ego stroke, a shoulder to cry on until she meets the next guy and your actions show her you are not serious about not talking again. The fact that you ask about communicating with her in a mature adult manner that you can't do this anymore (in my opinion) suggests that a part of you still wants attention from her even if it will end up as secondary gain. Communicating with her is the last thing you should be doing. I would find a way to block her number etc and go no contact. However, only someone serious enough will do that.
Author salem mark Posted October 29, 2013 Author Posted October 29, 2013 She is doing this because she knows eventually you will give in and respond, she can use you for a much needed ego stroke, a shoulder to cry on until she meets the next guy and your actions show her you are not serious about not talking again. The fact that you ask about communicating with her in a mature adult manner that you can't do this anymore (in my opinion) suggests that a part of you still wants attention from her even if it will end up as secondary gain. Communicating with her is the last thing you should be doing. I would find a way to block her number etc and go no contact. However, only someone serious enough will do that. i think its because ihavent met anyone like her before, i have to not respond, ibelieve that would send her the message, i guess a part of me wants her to still think about me
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