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The thought of her being with somebody else..


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Posted

.. Is sending me crazy.

 

We split after 4 years on pretty good terms, we had sex 3 times a day for the past 4 years, it was always very passionate and special. I don't want any other woman as I only love her, but I know she will be with another guy in time (if she isn't already) and that thought is killing me.

 

I've come to terms that she'll never be mine again, but thie above is becoming an issue!!

Posted
I don't want any other woman as I only love her, but I know she will be with another guy in time (if she isn't already) and that thought is killing me.

 

I've come to terms that she'll never be mine again, but this above is becoming an issue!!

 

Very similar situation here. I've studied Wikipedia on breakup, recovery etc. and this is what I found most relevant:

 

"Dorothy Tennov (1979) has suggested that the only cure for being in love is to get indisputable evidence that the target of one's love is not interested'.[13]"

 

If you've really come to terms with the fact that she'll never be yours again, then perhaps you also need to realize that YOU don't want HER. This is different, and it worked for me.

 

Here's what worked:

  • make a list of her bad qualities
  • find some unflattering pics of her
  • find another girl who's better in ONE ASPECT than your ex

 

I like to journal about my relationships, so I could easily get to incidents when she showed something I didn't like. That helped make a list of her imperfections. Going through our pics, I found some of her from bad angles etc.

 

Now maybe overall your girl was something you're pretty certain you'll NEVER meet again, let alone a better version, but I can guarantee that in ONE regard, you can relatively easily find a girl who's better. Your username suggests you're aware of PU tactics, so go out there. Yes, it will suck in the beginning and your inner state will transpire, but it will get better over time.

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Posted

You guys had sex three times every day, meaning 7 days a week? :eek:

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Posted

NeverBAWuss - thank you, however whilst being a big fan of the movie, I am un familiar with 'PU tactics' (google hasn't helped), please could you elaborate?

 

Mariposa10 - yes 3 times a day, 7 days a week for four years.

Posted

Tyler, check out 2knowmyself.com

 

The reason it bugs you in regard to her being with someone else is your ego.

  • Like 1
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Posted

Cali - awesome site, thanks

Posted

His English is a little off, but it's interesting. It will help you understand your thought process.

Posted
NeverBAWuss - thank you, however whilst being a big fan of the movie, I am un familiar with 'PU tactics' (google hasn't helped), please could you elaborate?

 

Mariposa10 - yes 3 times a day, 7 days a week for four years.

 

How's this even possible?? wow, I'm amazed.

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Posted (edited)
How's this even possible?? wow, I'm amazed.

 

This was normal for us, am I missing something?

 

EDIT- of course we had a week off a month for obvious reasons.....

Edited by TylerDurdenn
Posted
This was normal for us, am I missing something?

 

EDIT- of course we had a week off a month for obvious reasons.....

 

Haha, well, I'm happy to hear you guys took a little break. I could understand having sex every day once, but three times a day. How would it work, once in the morning, another one during lunch time and finally one before going to bed?

 

Sounds great, don't get me wrong, I just don't know if I would have the energy, to do it three times a day.

Posted

Anyway, back to the original post. Time, you have to let time do its thing. I was like you too, I would think about my ex with someone else, and I felt so bad, but things do get better. You'll get there.

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Posted

When I got home from work, after dinner then before sleep.

 

Right now I feel good, I'm not sure why..

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Posted

I've deleted the majority of her family from my FB, there's a few I have missed but no biggies. I felt awful deleting them without saying goodbye, it was like cutting the final strings.

 

Oh well.

Posted
NeverBAWuss - thank you, however whilst being a big fan of the movie, I am un familiar with 'PU tactics' (google hasn't helped), please could you elaborate?

 

Sorry, I meant Pick Up. David DeAngelo's "cocky & funny" worked for me when I was around 26. Not sure what the good programs are nowadays...

Posted

My ex of 5 years told me herself over the phone that she had already been with someone else only two months after she broke up with me (yeah yeah, big mistake talking to her, should have been NC, etc, I know). Hit me like a ton of bricks. That was almost two months ago and I still think about it every day. Some days it pops into my head no matter what I'm doing, and it sometimes stops me dead in my tracks. It happened on my drive to work today and I wanted to scream and punch something, but I didn't. I was more upset with the thought just randomly coming into my head - I can't stop it. I'm being held prisoner by my own mind.

Posted

Me and My recent ex (we broke up less then two months ago) of 1 yr and a half also had sex literally almost everyday almost 3 times as well maybe more if it was a long day lol, she told me recently(last week) that she had sex with 3 guys since the last time we had sex (a little over 5 weeks ago). I loved her with all my heart and soul and I've been with a few girls but she was different (or so I thought) I never cared about anyone like I do with her. I still love her and I can't get the image of her pleasing another man like she used to do for me, but honestly I know over time things will become easier and I KNOW I will move on and slowly I won't care what or who she does. So if I can be optimistic you also NEED to be optimistic for all of us. Hang in there time heals all

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Posted

I feel you brother, exactly the same situation.. exactly! Except 5 years. I've seen her a couple of times and broke NC and we had sex, she's sleeping with other people however, even after 2 weeks, kills me inside.

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Posted
I feel you brother, exactly the same situation.. exactly! Except 5 years. I've seen her a couple of times and broke NC and we had sex, she's sleeping with other people however, even after 2 weeks, kills me inside.

 

**** that! I couldn't deal with that. No way.

Posted
**** that! I couldn't deal with that. No way.

Yeah, tell me about it. She's sending my messages declaring that she still loves me but can't be with me / she's confused. I'm pretty much a walking mess at the minute lol. It's been 6 weeks which I know isn't long but man.. I'm sure you can relate when I say every minute feels like an hour.

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Posted
Yeah, tell me about it. She's sending my messages declaring that she still loves me but can't be with me / she's confused. I'm pretty much a walking mess at the minute lol. It's been 6 weeks which I know isn't long but man.. I'm sure you can relate when I say every minute feels like an hour.

 

I had that bull **** 'i miss you but i can't be with you'.

 

I can't wait to be over her, and look back and think 'what was i thinking!'.

Posted
I had that bull **** 'i miss you but i can't be with you'.

 

I can't wait to be over her, and look back and think 'what was i thinking!'.

You and me both mate. I suppose I just need to hang in there, focus on myself and continue NC.. It's just bloody hard knowing everything that I do! At this stage, I know that I'll eventually get there, and the fact that I feel as though there's no-one else out there for me, or I couldn't ever love anyone else is all bull****, I'll get there, as will you brother. If I have any advice, start writing a blog, mine is on my profile, it helps just to get it all out. This is the only place I've ever shared it with (Not even friends and family) I feel as though it helps for it to be removed from everyone because you can really let go and just dump your brain.

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Posted
You and me both mate. I suppose I just need to hang in there, focus on myself and continue NC.. It's just bloody hard knowing everything that I do! At this stage, I know that I'll eventually get there, and the fact that I feel as though there's no-one else out there for me, or I couldn't ever love anyone else is all bull****, I'll get there, as will you brother. If I have any advice, start writing a blog, mine is on my profile, it helps just to get it all out. This is the only place I've ever shared it with (Not even friends and family) I feel as though it helps for it to be removed from everyone because you can really let go and just dump your brain.

 

I think once you realise that NOTHING you can do I will bring her back, then you can finally move on. You will get there, we both will.

 

Luckily I work with a load of middle aged women, with me being quite young they like to 'mother me', it's helped a lot; they made me realise that she is losing a lot more than I am.

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Posted

Difficult day!!

Posted
Difficult day!!

 

It will be over soon! you can do it!

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Posted

Thank you Fufu

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