solostand Posted October 28, 2013 Posted October 28, 2013 So my MM is very faithful about phoning me every day, sometimes twice a day. So Thursday he called and said he wasn't feeling well - his stomach had been bothering him for two days and he was vomiting. I told him to take some gravol and try to relax. He ended the call with "I'll call you later this afternoon". Afternoon came, no call. I didn't panic but I was slightly pissed. Friday came - no call! I kept checking my phone and couldn't concentrate and was feeling immense anxiety. Saturday came - STILL NO CALL. This is when I really started to panic. Was he going NC on me? Did his wife find out? Did he not love me anymore? The depths of my despair was dreadful. I kept checking my phone and everytime it rang and it wasn't MM I wanted to throw the phone across the room. I kept telling myself "Solostand, why get this upset over a MAN?" Get a grip on yourself. But then panic would set in and I would think "What if I never hear from him again?" I let that man ruin three days of my life. No, I let myself ruin three days of my life. Then Sunday, I had a realization. Last time I talked to him he had been vomiting. Being a person who has had bowel blockages about once a year, I know that severe vomiting is the main symptom, I thought "maybe he is in the hospital". So I call the hospital and sure enough, he is there. I go over and there he is, full blown bowel blockage. He said he was frantic about how he was going to get the news to me since he was too sick to bring his cellphone and he can't get out of bed because of the tube that is going into his stomach and attached to the wall. He was very happy to see me. But the point is, I seem to have given away my power and I hate that!
almond Posted October 28, 2013 Posted October 28, 2013 You are feeling intense emotions. Your post tells me that you are very insecure in your relationship (with good reason). I am sure it is taking a toll on you in multiple ways that you most likely aren't yet aware of. I hope that someday soon you can find a loving and fulfilling relationship that enriches your life in a real, lasting way. I hope you find the strength. Good luck.
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