Trust issues come to fruition.

[Beauly]

So heres the situation. I'm in a long distance relationship with a girl who I've been dating for a year and two and a half months. She's the best friend I've ever had. I've loved her since the day I met her. But, we've had bumps in this relationship. First of all this relationship was started with a huge lie: her identity. She spun me a false story when we met on Omegle, one COMPLETELY different from the truth. We dated for a little under a month before she confessed.

 

I was cool with that honestly, I understand what its like to have a lie spin out of control. She was extremely apologetic and I forgave her. There were other lies however, that she would tell afterward because she was so embarrassed about the fact that she had made stuff up in the first place that she still had trouble being completely honest with me. Once again, I forgave her each time one of the little lies came out. (For example, she lied about her ethnicity. Big whoop right?)

 

But during winter break she traveled back to India where her family's from and where she would occasionally live/visit. We had a fight at the time, and she went and cheated on me. That, I couldn't forgive. We had a month long split or so where she was miserable and whenever she would call me I'd just cus her out until she hung up. Somehow or another, things smoothed back out, and we began trying to have a relationship again.

 

Another detail I have to add is that I'm the possessive/jealous type to the extreme. I understand that its a little unhealthy, but its just who I am. I told her that in the very beginning, and she was okay with that. Obviously, the cheating magnified that untrusting possessiveness ten fold. When I found out she was getting texts from a guy who used to like her, I told her to cut cords immediately. She didn't but said she did and once again we had a fight when the truth came out. We got over that quickly enough, but heres where the issue is now.

 

She's in London right now, studying abroad. Something she said she was 'only considering, she wasn't actually going to do it' until it was too late to back out then she told me. It really upset me, but I moved on. The thing is, she used to have the best friend who we'll call 'Alex' because thats the (fake) name she gave me. His real name is some Indian name thats hard to spell. She used to be extremely close with him, but he started drifting away and being a dick. She and him at one point had a no love or anything just two lonely people' sexting relationship. They never actually did anything physical, but it still made me extremely uncomfortable, but they weren't on speaking terms anymore so I just ignored it.

 

Until, her mom sent him an email informing him she was in London, just like he was coincidentally. (I forget how she knew he was there too.) My girlfriend told me he was there, and that he had emailed her, and I told her to ignore it and don't respond. I told her if she did it would make me extremely unhappy and that I'd probably break up with her, I made her promise she wouldn't talk to him ever again that this was make or break.

 

Then tonight I log onto her email. Before you jump down my throat I wasn't snooping, I was looking for my essay that I emailed her to revise for me because I lost my copy. When I saw she had an email from someone talking about meeting up, my curiosity and untrusting came up and I began reading it and the conversation proceeding. She had completely lied to me and had been emailing him and they were setting up a meeting. There wasn't anything romantic or sexual in the emails, but I'm still furious. Its a complete betrayal and I've never been so mad at her or anyone in my entire life, except maybe the time I found out she cheated on me. She's thousands of miles away meeting some guy she had some-form of a sexual relationship with against my wishes in a time where I know she's lonely and desperate for attention.

 

Honestly I just need some people to talk to me. Tell me what to do. I've almost completely decided its time to break up with her, and that makes me extremely upset. I'm battling depression right now, with the real world looming over my head as high school dawns and my brother's suicide attempt, and I'm about to lose my best friend and girl friend. I know some of you might think I'm being an idiot, that I'm only a teenager, but we've been dating for over a year. Thats got to count for something. She's been one of the only things keeping me going, and now it's all over. She's so beautiful and smart and funny and kind and a million other things that made me fall for her, but she's such a liar and I feel betrayed.

 

tl;dr : My already untrustworthy girlfriend has lied to me again about something that is completely relationship ending for me. Just talk to me please.

[Stealth3]

Dude, seriously break up with her now because I promise you she will use you and break up with you and crush your heart and then you will be back here again asking what to do.

 

I had a gf just like that, also long distance. She didnt lie but she did decide to keep some information away from me, some **** i should know.

Long story short, she was still talking to her ex who was trying to win her back and she was still in love with another ex.....at the same time she was dating me. She ended up dumping me and getting married to another random dude she met online. Felt like that guy jumped in front of me and took the bullet.

 

My most recent ex is also indian and she only lied a few times like when i asked her if there was another dude when she broke up with me. She also kept information away from me and didnt give me the full picture. Then she claimed and convince herself that she didnt like me for a long time and everything she did was a fake.

 

Her friend is cheating on her boyfriend and clearly using him for a green card.

 

Once they lie a few times, they arent worth trusting again. If cheating is involved...just break up now and find someone else. She will crush you later on, that I promise. I dont want you to go through what I did so I'm warning you and seriously advise to let her go.

 

She might cry at first and try really hard to stay with you, but it doesnt mean anything. My ex did that when i said "maybe this isnt working out"...she cried and cried and got even more attached, then a month later she dumps me claiming she didnt like me.

[Beauly]

I agree its time to break up with her, but I really don't think she's a bad person. I just constantly feel betrayed by her. Lying about going to London. Lying about who she is. Lying about 'Alex'. I'm sick of it and I'm mad at her, but at the same time I'm in such a bad place in life right now and I don't know what to do with myself after this. She was the reason to keep going, you know?

[Sugarkane]

I would've cut her off after lying about her identity. Huge red flag.